Coming Out

Thatsme · Posts: 80 Join date: 2009-09-14 Location: Denmark

Ouch heh.... Sorry but i can't stop giggling over it Alex, it sounds so Tv serie like xD

painter · Subject: Re: Coming Out Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:54 pm

Sabazius wrote:

[we're talking about package holidays for some reason]
Me: I'd like to go on a cruise one day.
Bro: yeah, a gay cruise.
Me: shut up.
Later...
[My brother makes a suggestive comment]
Me: that's what HE said... On the gay cruise!
Mum: just cos you came out to your brother doesn't mean we're going to have gay jokes at the table.
Bro: ...wtf?
[At this point, my dad starts to laugh silently]
Sis: what? Alex is gay?
Mum: ...oh christ, sorry alex.
[Dad has his head in his hands, shaking and crying with silent laughter. Mum looks horrified, bro and sis look confused, I look... I have no idea]
Next 5 mins are just 'what?' and 'oh my god I'm so sorry!' followed by a long awkward explanation and laughter.

Actually, although I know it was embarrassing at the time, that sounds fairly 'alright' to me. How long ago was this? Have your brother and sister accepted this about you?

I never came out to my parents (both dead a long time ago now). I did come out to one sister when my partner died but I hadn't previously and the only reason I did then was because she had lost her husband and I thought she could relate at least on that level. Just to be clear, my family were all "born again" Christian types and, basically I have nothing to do with them. They totally creep me out.

The one exception to that is my nephew Steve (who is only 8 years younger than I am). I told him I was gay when he was a teenager. I knew it wouldn't matter to him. Steve married, had two sons and then divorced when they were still kids. His oldest son is gay and years ago when the kid was just a teenager I told Steve, "I think Cameron may be gay." He asked me how I knew and I said I didn't "know" but just suspected it. He asked me what he should do and I said, "Nothing -- just wait and if he ever decides to come out to you he will. In the mean time just be there for him and be aware it might happen so it doesn't come as a shock or anything." He appreciated this. He said it didn't make any difference to him, he loved his son and just wanted him to be happy. Cameron has a partner he lives with in a city but they hang out w/ Steve most weekends. This is in rural Indiana where there is a lot of homophobia.

Sabazius · Subject: Re: Coming Out Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:26 pm

Sucks that you were distanced from your family like that, but it's awesome to know you made that connection with your nephew and his son

My brother and sister were totally fine with it, I love them both so much for being brilliant about all of it. Especially my bro, his friend came out to him the other day and my brother told him that it didn't change their friendship a bit and he always cared for him. I was so proud when he told me :')

_________________
Sab's Rules For Living:
Live beyond the confines your head.
Give everything you can to everyone you know.
No fear, no hesitation, no regrets.

Ecii · Subject: Re: Coming Out Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:30 pm

I came out to my sister, my mom and dad, to my friends and nothing changed, and my extended family. Everyone was supportive and everything stayed the same. My family and friends are great.

See I don't need a few pages to tell a story...
Please questions if I left something out.

painservedcold · Posts: 295 Join date: 2008-11-07 Age: 19 Location: Canada

I guess since I've commented here, I might as well actually post a coming out story.
Anyone have preference between coming out to my parents or coming out to my baseball catcher? I'll tell whichever story tomorrow. Both are pretty odd and funny.

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ems · Subject: Re: Coming Out Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:52 pm

baseball catcher!

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painservedcold · Posts: 295 Join date: 2008-11-07 Age: 19 Location: Canada

ems wrote:

baseball catcher!

I had a feeling someone would ask for this one...
Okay, this is gonna be long because I need some backstory to make it make sense.
His name is going to be edited, so lets call him B. B and I had been on the same team for the two years prior to my coming out to him, and had been playing against each other for almost a decade before that, so we had a long, storied history of competition against each other. When we had been playing together, he was fond (along with every other bastard on the team) of calling me gay, queer, fag, faggot, etc. as a means of making me feel bad and making themselves feel like they're better than me. Mostly its because I was the quiet guy and everyone picks on the quiet guy, they never had a clue about my sexuality since I'm clearly just SOOO good at hiding it. **insert stereotypically flaming action here**.
Suffice to say, one day in August after we were unceremoniously thrown out of the playoffs for being the worst team in the league, I invited him out for a round of golf so we could clear the air and not have two of the team's better players shit talking each other (I made fat jokes like they were going out of style, stupid people jokes too). So we get to the pitch and putt (no way in hell we play a full size course in that weather, was ridiculously hot), and we get paired up with these two older men. Round's going pretty well, I haven't made a complete ass of myself on the course as I normally do, he hasn't made any wisecracks due to the other people around. Halfway through, I can tell he's getting bored and he offers me a cigarette. I thought hey, I'm gonna need the stress relief, might as well get used to it, so I take a drag and proceed to make an ass of myself by nearly asphyxiating on an impovershed man's cigarette while he stood there laughing. Anyways, once both of us could breathe again, he asked me if I'd mind just quitting because it sucked golfing. I was fine with that, so we left and started walking back towards the clubhouse when the usual name calling and faggotbaiting occurs, except this time I decide to call him a cocksucker who's just trying to get my attention so I'll **** him. Amazingly, he didn't take kindly to the comment, and really went for it, saying I wanted to do various things to various people, at which point I said that we should probably cool it with the attacks on each other. He agreed to it, about five seconds before calling me a fag again -.-.
We're finally back at the clubhouse, so I tell him I need to talk to him for a sec and could he come sit on this picnic bench that just happened to be next to a duck pond.
Which is where I told him to quit with the "gay crap" because I actually was gay and its fuckin me up to hear it from someone I thought was a friend.
His reaction was PRICELESS.
I'm sure you all know where this is going, but just in case, I'll say it. He fell in. The lake. Filled with ducks and their shit. It was one of those moments of pure shock on someone's face that you just can't ever forget. Considering the circumstances, I chose not to laugh, since he had very kindly decided not to eat me whole like he did with every other moderately tasty looking human (like I said, I really liked the fat jokes). When he got up, he asked if I was serious, and I said yeah, and he spent the next ten minutes complaining about how everyone comes out to him, so I said maybe its because those of us who came out to him did it so he'd stop demeaning us and treating us like we're beneath him. That shut him up nicely for a few minutes.
During his rants, we moved from the bench to underneath an oak tree, and we started throwing acorns at each other. By sheer chance, I managed to nail him square in the ass with an acorn, right about where his **deleted** would be. He thought it was something else. more hilarity ensued as he thought I was trying to rape him in a public park from 15 feet away while we were both wearing pants. We then got the pleasure of going to a mall for some bizarre combination of lunch and dinner, where he spent the whole time asking me if he could tell his parents (both our moms were with us in the mall) and whether anyone else knew and if I was serious or just trying to get him to leave me alone. My response was that if he didn't stop asking me if I was serious or if he did tell anyone that I was gay, I'd show him just how gay I was and just how gay I could MAKE him be. It was a good threat, since I happened to get to go into his room later that afternoon, just the two of us, while all the parents were in the yard.
Ah, the bedroom, scene of a million makeout stories, but not this time. First thing that happens when we get in his way too cramped bedroom is that he curls up under the covers of his bed with all his clothes on, in spite of it being about 85 degrees outside. Which is fine and well if you like dying of heat stroke I guess. What stunned me was movement around his crotch area, which I just had to ask him about. He said it was nothing, which I contest to this very day. Anyways, I decided I'd try to scar him for life and say that if he's being naughty, he does have a perfectly good gay boi in his bedroom who could make it all better, and I lightly let my fingers dance on his shoulder, which wasn't firmly stuck beneath dozens of layers.
I've never heard that long a string of profanity in my life, and I may never hear it again. Suffice to say that we did not do anything, and he kept his word to not out me. The gay jokes...well, they kept coming, but not for very long and not often from him, not after this incident and the fact that I can pretty much just pounce on him at will to get a reaction. So, ta da, that's me coming out.

_________________
Be the Change...
it is a tribute to the first amendment that this kind of vile, contemptable nonsense is so freely propogated

New Blog Update 10-14!!
http://painservedcold-workingsolutions.blogspot.com/
http://introspectionanotherperspective.blogspot.com/

New Newspaper article!
http://www.bclocalnews.com/greater_vancouver/burnabynewsleader/opinion/letters/64386637.html

nicks18 · Subject: EPIC REPLY COMMENT TIME! Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:56 am

@Mr. Mike: thank you for sharing that awesome story

painter wrote:

we sometimes had three ways with his girl friend

I watched Kinsey (movie) a few weeks before and in the movie, they portrayed Dr. Kinsey to observe, study and at times partake in deviant sexual behaviors, that in my opinion at that time, I thought was sometimes a bit unnecessary. One of which is a threesome involving a couple and a male or a female, like what you did then. I thought then that maybe there are things better left unexplored and unexplained by science, particularly this one, since I thought it wasn't that common. But after reading your experience, I realized it did need a bit of explanation. I just couldn't wrap my mind on the concept of sexual activity without entailing emotional complications. I guess, I have much to learn.

painter wrote:

I don't remember what we'd been talking about but we were both in our PE shorts and tanks and he walked up to me and put his arms around me and started rubbing his crotch against mine, pushing me backwards until I was up against the coach's desk.

Can I say something...THAT WAS EFFIN HOT! Gee, you were probably the yummiest eye candy during your time Mr. Mike...got a picture?

painter wrote:

My problem was I didn't feel comfortable about myself and about "gay" culture.

If with your sexual experience you still felt uncomfortable with the "gay" culture, then I'll be a fish out of water.

painter wrote:

Worse, I found myself mostly attracted to 'straight' guys and that was very frustrating

Tell me about it.

Sabazius wrote:

I'll do the traditional thing of coming out to the world at large via Facebook.

Well that pretty much doesn't work as Kell said, nobody actually reads the personal info anymore. And if they did, they'd probably think it was a joke. Those homophobic twats.

Sabazius wrote:

Me: that's what HE said... On the gay cruise!
Mum: just cos you came out to your brother doesn't mean we're going to have gay jokes at the table.
Bro: ...wtf?
[At this point, my dad starts to laugh silently]
Sis: what? Alex is gay?
Mum: ...oh christ, sorry alex.

If you weren't serious I'd think you were kidding. This is epic!
Mum FAIL.
Unforgettable family story WIN!
You got me laughing like a lunatic. lol!

painter wrote:

I told Steve, "I think Cameron may be gay."

It would have been amazing to have you as an uncle Mr. Mike. sigh.

painseveredcold wrote:

Anyone have preference between coming out to my parents or coming out to my baseball catcher?

parents!

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The Who's Who of Kabe
dare de-vilKellypainservedcoldTrevoririshboi69Sammy
StaileTylerSabaziusAlexpainterMr.MikeemsEThatsme
DannyTheCptNemoJoshuathreedollrbillBillxstinger03x
ErickEWLWolfgangcrazzycatOdry. And I am Batman.
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ems · Subject: Re: Coming Out Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:22 am

trevor, i didnt find that funny, the falling into the pond part was like a little funny and thats like it. now, tell the story about your parents!!!

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You, me, whipped cream and handcuffs. Any questions?

painservedcold · Posts: 295 Join date: 2008-11-07 Age: 19 Location: Canada

ems wrote:

trevor, i didnt find that funny, the falling into the pond part was like a little funny and thats like it. now, tell the story about your parents!!!

No sense of humour...
I suppose one would have had to be there to see how it could be amusing

_________________
Be the Change...
it is a tribute to the first amendment that this kind of vile, contemptable nonsense is so freely propogated

New Blog Update 10-14!!
http://painservedcold-workingsolutions.blogspot.com/
http://introspectionanotherperspective.blogspot.com/

New Newspaper article!
http://www.bclocalnews.com/greater_vancouver/burnabynewsleader/opinion/letters/64386637.html

dare de-vil · Subject: Re: Coming Out Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:47 pm

ems wrote:

trevor, i didnt find that funny, the falling into the pond part was like a little funny and thats like it. now, tell the story about your parents!!!

oh man, THAT was funny. hahaha.

all right, since i know u guys r all dying 2 know bout me, here goes. ill just give a list sort of in chronological order

stepsister/sister: k so wen i was like 15 i think, i came across the aim sn of 1 of my now-stepsister's friends (she was just the daughter of my dads gf b4 he got married) cody. i figured i type it in, say hi 2 them. as it turned out, he was gay also which i was surprised about. so i told him in confidence that i was gay also & that he cudnt tell my stepsister. he promised. so a few months later im fighting w/ my sister & at 1 point, she yelled at me "y dont u go cry about it 2 yer boyfriend cody!" needless 2 say i was rly shocked. so i figured that cody lied 2 me, told my stepsister who told my sister who then yelled it bak at me. i didnt deny or confess 2 it at the time.

mom: WHEN xactly my mom found out, idk. but 1 day we were in the car & we started talkin bout stuff & she was all "wen u grow up, yer gf or wife is gonna want...blah blah blah..." i sed at 1 point that that was never gonna happen & she kept asking y not? but then at 1 point she goes "is it cuz.....yer gay?" all i cud do, cuz at this point i was almost in tears from the general convo, was nod my head. later on, i asked how she knew & she told me she had NOT ONLY READ ALL OF MY AIM CONVERSATIONS SINCE I WAS 12, but that she had also READ MY JOURNAL (yes, journal, not diary) but she didnt say WHEN she had done all that. needless 2 say, i was xtremely pissed about that bcuz i knew xactly which entry she was talking about (i had never sed in it that i was gay. insted, i had described a fantasy about me & a boy in the neighborhood). i was so pissed but i didnt wanna get on her case cuz i knew it wud only embarrass me more. i was also rly pissed about her reading ALL my aim conversations on aim since i was 12.

also, she told me later on that 1 day, she was talking 2 my sister wen my mom sed 2 her "did u know that yer brothers gay?" & apparently my sister sed "yeah mom ive known 4 a while now." AGAIN, i was very mad at my mom wen she told me that cuz she cuda outed me 2 my sister if she hadnt alredy known

dad/stepmom: apparently 1 day my mom & dad were talking & my dad was complaining about 1 of my friends & sed sumthin along the lines of "sumtimes i think that kid must be gay or sumthin." 2 which my MOM replied "did u ever think that yer own son might be gay?" once again, i was pissed at my mom cuz she had pretty much just outed me 2 my dad. she told me the convo they had like 2 yrs ago. maybe like a year & a half ago, i was at my dads house & 1 day, i left up the nifty website on the comp while i ate lunch in the kitchen. my stepmom went over 2 the comp 2 use it & i cud then c her looking at the screen, clearly reading wat was on it. i was rly embarrassed by it, but i didnt say nething 2 her bout it cuz after a few secs, she closed it, logged me out & went into hers 2 do work or sumthin. apparently later on, she emailed my dad at work & told him. then, maybe a year & a half ago my dad was talking 2 me unrelated, but the topic got brought up & i sed yes, im gay & i sed 2 him "but u alredy knew that, didnt u." he sed yeah & then we kept talking bout the intended convo

the most fucked up part about it is that NONE of my family was supose 2 know about me being gay until I told them, which i had bin planning on either during or after college.

my mom always sez "can i ask u a personal question?" & i hate it wen she dus cuz it makes me feel awkward & i hate it. im very mad at her 4 everything she did, but at the least, shes very accepting

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Sabazius · Subject: Re: Coming Out Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:43 pm

That's kinda screwed up dude, sorry that all that happened to you
At least everyone's OK with it right? I mean, no matter how annoying it is to be outed it kinda takes a weight off of your shoulders.

_________________
Sab's Rules For Living:
Live beyond the confines your head.
Give everything you can to everyone you know.
No fear, no hesitation, no regrets.

dare de-vil · Subject: Re: Coming Out Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:54 pm

wen it comes 2 my family, no. im still unhappy w/ them knowing cuz i wanted 2 come out on MY terms.

_________________

Sabazius · Subject: Re: Coming Out Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:35 pm

dare de-vil wrote:

wen it comes 2 my family, no. im still unhappy w/ them knowing cuz i wanted 2 come out on MY terms.

I guess I can understand that. But can you ever see a time when you might forgive them, or when it won't be such an issue?

_________________
Sab's Rules For Living:
Live beyond the confines your head.
Give everything you can to everyone you know.
No fear, no hesitation, no regrets.

nicks18 · Subject: Re: Coming Out Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:43 pm

Well props for the story Kell.
It does seem your Mom is quite obnoxious. Well take it easy on them, as they are probably not taking it easy on themselves.

_________________

The Who's Who of Kabe
dare de-vilKellypainservedcoldTrevoririshboi69Sammy
StaileTylerSabaziusAlexpainterMr.MikeemsEThatsme
DannyTheCptNemoJoshuathreedollrbillBillxstinger03x
ErickEWLWolfgangcrazzycatOdry. And I am Batman.
Would you like that? Would you like to ride with batman?