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Old friends abandon me, it's just the routine politics of jealousy
 
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Rorylover
los34
Mr. Mike
nirvana
marcuss
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DreamCatcher
Ecii
ems
painservedcold
Sabazius
Kell
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Kell
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Kell


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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Dec 06, 2011 12:46 pm

thanks Very Happy

and just so u guys know, the start of the sex memory is MEANT to be cheesy, fast moving & tacky. after all, thats how teens that age think xD
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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeSat Dec 10, 2011 2:19 pm

anyone else?
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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Jan 17, 2012 5:45 pm

sorry guys, this chapter was supposed to be longer, but i messed something up when i posted it & i lost the rest of what i had. guh.

so anyway, i guess in the meantime u can talk about this one
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Sabazius

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Jan 17, 2012 9:23 pm

Rory's response to his mother's return is about as one would expect. I thought you did well to subtly show his conflicting feelings towards her without undermining the realism of his internal monologue and his external reactions. This chapter builds really nicely on the way you set up his complicated relationship with Ray; I like the suggestion that some kind of choice between the two might be coming, but honestly I don't know how the whole thing is gonna play out - his mother might abscond again, or have some kind of argument with Ray re: parenting and be forced to move out, or she might become a part of the very dysfunctional family unit. As always, your writing is only getting better Smile
(Can you tell I'm supposed to be writing an english essay? Razz)
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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Jan 17, 2012 9:32 pm

to be totally honset, i thought that response was VERY generous lol. a quarter of what i originally wrote was accidentally deleted. and i felt very lazy this time around. BUT im flattered nonetheless lol

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ems

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeThu Jan 19, 2012 1:18 am

That was very good for a lazy attempt. I like the sound of a dysfunctional family.

biscuits with steak? wtf Question Question
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeThu Jan 19, 2012 4:22 am

biscuits here are bread rolls.
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ems

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeThu Jan 19, 2012 9:52 am

oh, that explains it.

Tbh, i dont see the situation getting any better for rory. i mean, if it did it would be the end of the story too.
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los34

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeMon Feb 06, 2012 7:58 pm

what gonig 2 happen next
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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Feb 07, 2012 12:46 am

well, my new friend, youll just have to wait & find out Smile

what do YOU guys think is gonna happen? go make predictions
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los34

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Feb 07, 2012 1:17 am

will i hope that this time she will stay but if she stays it will take time 4 hem 2 trust her with her past it dont look good tho
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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Feb 07, 2012 1:20 am

sounds pretty logical
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ems

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Feb 07, 2012 1:48 am

Kell wrote:
well, my new friend, youll just have to wait & find out Smile

As the author of the story, you're suppose to say RAFO-read and find out -.-
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Feb 07, 2012 1:55 am

oh, sorry if wait & find out doesnt mean the same as read & find out. especially since in order to read & find out, one has to WAIT until the next chapter comes out.
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los34

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeFri Feb 10, 2012 9:49 pm

cant wait win do u think it be up
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeSat Feb 11, 2012 2:02 am

still not sure. within a couple. maybe less
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeMon Feb 20, 2012 3:36 am

ok, new chapter up. its real short but i didnt plan on this chapter being all that long anyway. thoughts? i guess...lol
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ems

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeMon Feb 20, 2012 4:26 am

Yeah, it was quite short. I didn't get the part where after his argument with him mum he was got horny. was he so unfazed by that that he just carried on what he wanted to do or did the fight actually turn him on?
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeMon Feb 20, 2012 2:30 pm

this has happened before. if u go back & look at other fights rory has had, youll see that for some reason, he seems to get turned on. not by the actual fight, but by the excitement

rory has a sex addiction. and what doesnt help is the fact that adrenaline-pumping situations such as fights really get his blood running, & therefore....u know. he also has a crush fetish (meaning hes aroused when he crushes things like small objects or animals. remember the spider?)
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Sabazius

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeWed Feb 22, 2012 12:18 pm

Dude be fucked up. And this is about the kind of behaviour I think we'd expect from someone in his situation. Not much to say on this chapter, just keep it up - you seem to have a good grasp of where this story is going Kell, perhaps more so than your other stories. I like it Smile
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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeWed Feb 22, 2012 2:42 pm

Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeSun Apr 01, 2012 5:51 am

DUN TAZE ME BRO!

Sorry, needed to get that out of my system.

What an interesting little situation we have now, in that the good Colonel and Rory's mother know each other. I sense an affair.
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ems

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeSun Apr 01, 2012 12:00 pm

I wonder what does it feel like to be tased. This chapter was OK, I guess. Again, with very little happening, there's very little to say. But I'm enjoying your style of writing very much! The last three lines were particularly quite good.

P.S.: What happened in Miami?
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeSun Apr 01, 2012 2:43 pm

i know it wasnt a great chapter but i opened up some doors with it for down the road. and i didnt know what to do at the end & i just in my head "all right, what happens basically...he gets tased, cuffed & thats it." so i pretty much just put that down

i dunno what happened in miami
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Story Discussion - Page 6 Icon_minitimeTue Apr 10, 2012 2:53 pm

So the Colonel and Rory's mother know each other? Intriguing. I'm getting a sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me Rory might be pretty pissed off at yet another adult in his life sometime soon...
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