Old friends abandon me, it's just the routine politics of jealousy
 
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painservedcold



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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Thu May 07, 2009 5:32 pm

mmmm, Noah bothers me in this chapter.

I don't know if its because I'm "radical" like Jade or what, but he irks me.
Its a rally, big whoop; speaking from experience its truly not as crazy as one thinks.

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ems

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Thu May 07, 2009 5:41 pm

but still if noah doesnt want to go jade shouldnt have made him feel bad until he agreed to...
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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Thu May 28, 2009 5:07 pm

ooohh...more conflict lol

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painservedcold



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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Fri May 29, 2009 6:10 am

Oddly enough, I feel conflicted about this chapter.
It seems like it was a really sudden shift from NAJ getting along so well and then becoming almost hateful towards each other. Even in relationships, stuff doesn't just explode and become that incendiary, not unless there's been a lot of lying in the past.

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Fri May 29, 2009 7:21 am

i dunno about what trevor said, but i thought that noah agreed to go to the really what ahppened??? anyways, here's my thing. i didnt like the fact that jade is pushig noah. and i think that its way too much. i didnt lke that noah is not trying to come up with away to patch up this new gap between him and jade himself.

and since when did EVERYONE start calling jade J? i thought that it was something special between NAJ and now noah's dad is calling him j too, i thought that was a lil weird...

but i got to say even though i didnt like the stuff that was ahppening in the story the chapter in itself was really good. but i also think that we are listening onyly to one side of the story, what happened to you writing othere people's point of view kell?? that really broaden-ed the whole picutre....
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Fri May 29, 2009 4:11 pm

the thing about them being almost aggressive suddenly is bcuz theres life between each chapter 2. the story dusnt only take place in each chapter, in happens also in between chapters. so its most likely that the fighting has bin getting worse & worse since the previous chapter. time goes by between chapters, stuff hasta happen. & the reason it seems so sudden is bcuz we didnt c wat was between chapters.

i do agree, it did seem kinda sudden lol

i figured after a lil while, i wanted 2 give him j as a nickname, so i do apologize 4 it seeming like a virus just spread & now every1s callin him that lol. i like it though, so im gonna keep using it lol

i didnt know u guys wanted more chapters from other pov. ill make an upcoming chapter that way, but not 4 at least 3 more chapters. ill get onto

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Sun May 31, 2009 2:56 am

I don't know about the others but I think that we have only one side of the story and I personally miss the other point of view (so that's what pov stands for).
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:11 am

FINALLY! NEW chapter!! lol

i hav the feeling that sum of u guys, e, wont like this chapter so much. idk. lol. if u dont, tell. if u DO, tell. lol

TALK! cuz its about time

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:54 am

Finally my favourite story!! Yes i didnt like it but neither did i hate it, ya know?? I didnt feel anything when i read the chapter. I think that was the problem, i couldnt feel anything.

About the story: the 'break' was a bit of a cliche... I mean thats probably the oldest way in the book to break up (and i would know). But idk whether it is in fact a break. Hopefully we didnt miss out on any drama from "these past few months", i kinda was expecting a really big fight... Oh well.. It wasnt all that bad but you defa can do way much better as corny as that sounds ive read better chapters from you.

Since when did noah have a frikin' RIVER in his back yard??
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:43 am

i originally HAD planned a big fight, but w/ me not having a comp 4 most of the summer so far, i wanted 2 make it a bit more realistic by having it seem that j cooled down after a while. i mean seriously, who has CONSTANT fights that never let up after a while.

i knew itd be a bit cliche. & im sry bout that part. i wrote it in a hurry lol

he dusnt hav a river behind his house. he has a lake : which has small creeks & rivers flowing into it from the other side. actually, that brings up a good point

*IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE NOAH & J'S HOUSE, GO TO GOOGLE MAPS. MAKE SURE YOU ARE ON THE SATELLITE SETTING. TYPE IN 169 HAROLD HOWELL WAY, WINTHROP, KENNEBEC MAINE. WHEN YOU ZOOM IN CLOSE ENOUGH, YOU SHOULD SEE THE SECOND TO LAST HOUSE ON A SMALL PENNINSULA. THAT HOUSE IS NOAH'S. THE LAST HOUSE ON THE PENNINSULA IS J'S HOUSE. IF YOU NEED HELP, PM ME.

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:39 pm

No need to apologize. The fights stopping is very real but i though jade would've handled it a little differently... (i had something smart to say after that but i forgot) I didnt know that their houses were real and stuff...
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 03, 2009 5:51 pm

yup. did u c them?

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painservedcold



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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:56 pm

The chapter felt cliche to me, with the whole rafting into the middle of nowhere to talk about feelings, to the breakup because of fighting.
The style was good, but it just felt cliche to me.

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:02 pm

Yep pretty kewl!! And trev coming to think about it, the rowing part of it was a bit old... I dont think i said this but it was rather funny. Funny in a way that it mkes you smile n not laugh...
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:29 pm

Kell, I wanted to tell this a couple of times before but kept on forgetting. There quite a few errors in your last few chapters of (i think) all three of your stories...
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:22 pm

such as...

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:18 am

i meant that there were spelling mistakes and stuff like that not in the story...
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:17 pm

chapter 27 is up

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:49 am

after a long long time i felt like i was reading another NAJ chapter with a little more than just words in it. i really am glad that theres just more than noah and jaden in this story. about the whole dating thing... he is totally worked up about it. i mean i know that he has to think about himself but, i dont see why he shouldnt do that when he helps other people too.
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:07 pm

so u think he shud think bout both?

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Fri Oct 09, 2009 3:51 am

yeah, and he doesnt have to forget about his studies and stuff just to help other people. i just think that he is feling rather insecure (in a weird way) about things since the break up...maybe his dad dating will help him make up his mind about jade also...
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Fri Oct 09, 2009 5:38 pm

hmm. good point

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:46 pm

maybe, just maybe he's having the transition from a child to a young adult... my dad told me once, you never know when you become an adult until you are like 2 dozen decisions into it. maybe he has to think about his decisions and rearrange his priorities...

about the story... i miss jade!!
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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Sat Oct 10, 2009 10:01 am

That chapter was AWESOME Kell! Wow, here your character is getting more adult and having to face up to difficult decisions, and at the same time your writing just went to a whole new level. I totally felt like Noah was a real person, and these problems were actually happening. This isn't a disparagement on your former writing, especially in your other stories, but keep this up! Once you've gone this far forward you can't slip back. Great, dude, seriously great.

As for the chapter, I can see why Noah got upset. I mean, he might have given his permission, but he still wasn't expecting it to happen, and I think he might be angry at his dad as well. I mean, if his dad IS dating this woman, which would seem likely, then he should have told Noah. Even if they aren't, he should still have told him about his partner leaving if Noah was friendly with her.

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PostSubject: Re: Story Discussion   Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:29 pm

i think that this was his dad's way of telling Noah that he is finally taking up on that offer that he had given so many years ago. i forgot to tell kell (that rhymes!!! LFOL!!!) but it was a really good chapter. gotta agree with alex, noah actually feels like a real person again.
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