The Last Out

It’s not supposed to snow in April. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the snow, and I especially love the snow when I’m grinding a rail or shredding the mountain on my board. But right now I’m wearing my baseball uniform trying to catch fly balls, and I can’t even see the damn ball because of all the snow coming down. I’m not afraid, not really. I’ve been playing baseball for longer than I can remember, why would I be afraid of a baseball coming at me?

I can’t help but glance at my right elbow and wince at it. I’m not afraid of the ball, I’m not afraid of the ball… I just have a healthy respect for the ball, that’s all. It’s nothing serious.

My name’s Devin Williams. I’m seventeen now, and I started playing ball when I was seven years old. I almost quit that year as well; I hadn’t been paying attention and took my eye off the play, and I had the luck of getting hit right in the elbow with the ball. Line drive too, so it hurt. I’m only lucky because my elbow was in the way, everyone says that if it hadn’t hit my elbow, the ball probably would have hit my head instead. I swear that there’s still an indentation in my elbow where I got whacked, but of course no one believes me.

I’m not afraid of the ball.

Right when I was about to get myself prepared for the next batter, I heard a voice call out to me. I recognized that deep, masculine voice anywhere. It was Sean. Sean Cobb is the school stud, and he makes sure everyone knows it. I’m sure it’s all bull and that he hasn’t done even half of what or who he says he’s been with. Still, I can’t deny that he’s hot, really, really hot. This is when liking dudes really sucks, because I don’t have a chance with him and I don’t need anyone knowing I’m not what everyone thinks I am. Could be bad for my reputation and my ability to get through each day, if you know what I mean.

“Hey Williams, you going to choke on some more balls?”

I winced again, because as much as he’s hot and I guess I do want to sleep with him, he’s also the biggest jerk on the planet. I guess that’s part of his stupid charm too in a way, he can just act however he wants and know that no one’s going to call him on his shit.

Starting a fight with Sean was pretty low on my list of priorities, so I just ignored him like I always do when he’s trying to piss me off and waited for him to go bother someone else, or better yet that he’d just leave the field entirely. That’s what he normally does, he gets under someone’s skin and then he leaves to go bother his next victim. Except this time he was staying here, just watching me. Staring at me, like he was trying to drill a hole through me or strip me with his eyes.

Looking back at home plate where he was crouching, I really wished I had something to say to him that could make him get off my case for a little while or to stop staring at me like he was going to devour me whole. Baseball was hard enough without my mind wandering and getting certain other things hard on the field, and that’d just give him something else to give me shit for anyway.

Thankfully, the practice was almost over and there were only a couple people left who had to do batting practice. Our school had shower facilities, but I wasn’t all that dirty from practice so I figured I’d just go home and shower there instead of torturing myself with another round of sweaty, naked high school athletes, including one that I knew would be there and would have something to say to me.

I grabbed my stuff and started making my way to my car when I heard him call my name again. Wow, twice in a day Sean goes out of his way to speak to me, that has to be a record. I wonder why he’s doing that, when normally he’s either ignoring me or talking shit about me like he was earlier.

“What do you want Sean?” I asked, not really caring that I sounded really hostile towards him at the moment.

“Hey now, no need to be so angry,” he responded. “Just wondering where you’re sneaking off to instead of joining us real men in the showers. You afraid you’re gonna like what you see in there too much?”

I must have blushed a bit or something, because his stupid shit-eating grin on his face got even wider and he got this excited look in his eyes. He started taunting me, which I knew was going to happen as soon as he started talking to me.

“Oh, so that’s how it is! You really do like munching wood, don’t you Williams?”

I was about to stammer out a reply when he cut me off with a look and a sharp hand gesture.

“Look Williams, I don’t really want to hear it because I’m not going to believe anything you have to say. You are, you aren’t. I got better things to do with my time than to get involved with your drama about whether you wanna be what you are or not. Don’t let it screw up the team and don’t get all in my face about it, and maybe we won’t have a problem, got it?”

I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. He was always the last person I believed would be alright with someone being gay. Not that I’m gay, I mean, chicks are great, really! Doesn’t explain why I bone up at the thought of Sean naked, but I can’t really be gay, I’m a student athlete after all.

Sean was staring at me again, and he was looking thoughtful for a second, like he was thinking up some deep thought that’s normally beyond his ability to understand. Then that damn grin crept back on his face, and I could already sense that I was in for some punishment of some kind.
He seemed to enjoy what he was doing by keeping me in suspense as to what he was thinking, and when he did say what he was thinking, I was really hoping that he was kidding or that he hadn’t said it at all.

“On the other hand, I could always use another pair of lips. Annabelle tries, but she just can’t do it. You, on the other hand, I bet you’d be a natural at it.” He sounded nonchalant about it, but I could hear the challenge in his voice, and maybe just a bit of lust.

“Yeah, I think that would work out really well. You can start sucking my cock, and in exchange I’ll keep this little secret of yours safe, make sure the rest of the team doesn’t know you’re perving out on them every time we’ve got a road trip or a tough practice. I can’t imagine that the rest of the guys would want a queer on the team, but I’m better than that, as long as you keep up your end of the bargain.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Here was Sean Cobb, basically blackmailing me into doing what I’d only dreamed of doing before. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I just stared at him, not really sure how to react or what to say. Instinct took over, and I realized that I had to defend my heterosexuality to him, even though I really did want to just accept his little offer.

“What makes you think I’m going to accept this kind of shit man?” I challenged. “You don’t have a damn bit of proof about any of this, just your word, and everyone on the team knows you start shit just to be an asshole. Who’s going to believe you about this, especially since you’re clearly saying it just to get something for yourself.”

I was getting bolder now that I started talking, so I kept going and pressed what I thought was my advantage over him, calling his bluff that he’d want to do anything with a guy or that he was serious about telling the rest of the team.

“Maybe you’re the one that’s the queer around here Sean, sitting there pretending to bang Annabelle so that no one would suspect you, and now here you are trying to get into my pants. I wonder what the guys would think about that.”

Now he was the one to look shocked and angry, and I realized that I had gone too far there. He ran right up to me and got right in my face, grabbing my shirt and lifting me off the ground a bit.

“Listen up fag” he snarled at me. “I’m not some dick licking queer like you, so I’m gonna tell you this one more time, and you better make sure you choose right. You can either suck my cock, or I can turn around and tell every single guy on the team that you’re spending the days thinking of how to be their little bitch. I promise you man, your life will be hell, but I’m giving you a chance to give you exactly what you want for free. All you gotta do is admit it.”

He let me go, but not before saying one last thing.

“So what’s it gonna be Devin? You gonna be my little cocksucker from here on, or are you going to explain to the rest of the guys why you’re checking them out all the damn time.”

Without waiting for a response, Sean started heading towards the locker, and at that moment I realized that the only person who had been bluffing here was me, and that he was dead serious about telling everyone and outing me as a queer. This was a nightmare, and yet I couldn’t stop thinking about how hot it could be, or how hard I was right then and there in the parking lot.

I acted. I should have thought about this, but I panicked and didn’t give myself a chance to think about the situation. Not that thinking about it would have helped, but at least I could pretend that I didn’t just give in to what he was saying and what I was already wanting to have happen.

I didn’t have long to decide anyway, he was getting close enough to the locker that if I called for him it could be suspicious, and then there’d be hell to pay if I had to explain why I was talking to Sean when everyone already knows that he and I don’t normally associate.

I took a deep breath and yelled out to him;

“Sean! Wait up man, let’s talk.”

“Ain’t nothing to talk about Williams. What’s it gonna be?”

”Alright.”

“Alright what, queer?”

“Alright, I’ll do it. But I swear to god if you tell a ~”

He held up his hand again.

“Relax bitch. You’re coming with me right now.”

“Where are we going?” I asked, sort of knowing what he was going to say, but waiting to hear him say it anyway.

“We’re going back to my place. You have some work to do before I decide whether it’s worth keeping your secret. You better hurry up, if I leave you behind I guess that means you weren’t serious after all.”

With that, he started marching towards his car. I did the same. No one noticed that I was running to my car, or that I was following him as he drove out of the lot.

I didn’t notice either. All I knew was that this was not how I planned my day.

As I was running to my car, all I could think about was what I was going to be doing in a few minutes. I had some experience with girls, but there’s a heck of a lot of differences between a girl and a guy, and I was about to find out about a lot of them. This wasn’t really how I planned on my first time with a dude, considering he basically blackmailed me into it, but I suppose I can’t complain about who it is.

I had no idea what to expect, but I didn’t have any time left to really think about it. Sean was leaving, and I was pretty sure he expected me to be right on his heels. This could just be another one of Sean’s games, but if I wasn’t there I was pretty sure he’d make good on his promise to start telling everyone I’m gay, and that would be a disaster.

He was definitely in a race to get home, that’s for sure. I know that there aren’t that many people around at this time of day, and it’s not like we’re in a big city or anything like that, but he sure was rushing through the roads heading out to his place. It looked to me like we were driving out towards lumber country, which I suppose makes sense considering how muscled he is. I guess he must help out gathering firewood or in the forest, just like a lot of the other kids in school. I was lucky that I didn’t have to work in the woods like a lot of kids, since my family lived a bit closer to the town centre, if you can call it that. Dad was lucky enough to find work in town that meant we could stay close to school.

Keeping up with him on the drive was a challenge, and I was getting really sweaty and nervous about the whole thing. I was really committed to doing this, to going to Sean Cobb’s house and sucking his dick. Not really something I had thought I’d be doing in the near future, but here I was, and at his invitation too. Well, I guess not really his invitation, but it was still his idea. Trying not to think about that other part so much, ruins the moment a bit.

After about 15 minutes on the road, we made it to his place and we both got out of our cars. I was shaking a bit by now, and he didn’t say a word to me. Sean just walked up to the front door and let himself in. I guess he expected I would just follow him, but I was getting really nervous about the whole thing. I just froze outside of my car, trying to figure out if I should go in or leave and pretend this whole thing hadn’t happened. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t get a chance to finish thinking, because Sean came back to his front door, naked from the waist up, and an angry frown on his face.

“You coming or not Williams? You drove all this way to get some of this, and now you’re not doing anything about it. At least you proved that you want this, and I guess if you won’t do anything now that you’re here I still have enough to let the rest of the guys know about you that you’ll be in deep shit.”

Hearing his voice and what he said got me to unfreeze from my stupor. I knew he was right about all of it, and at this point at least I did have to go inside and make the best of this experience. This time he’s doing it for leverage, but maybe next time he’ll do it because he wants to do it.

“Yeah, I’m coming. You don’t have to be a jackass about it Sean, you’re getting what you want aren’t you?” I made sure to shoot him a dirty look, but he was already turning away.

“Just remember your end of the bargain Sean, you don’t dare tell a soul about this.”

“Whatever man, if I do that then I might have to share you, and that’s not something I’m interested in doing right now. Good cocksuckers are hard to find, and I’m betting you’ll be good enough that I want to keep you to myself. Of course, if you’re not then you might need to practice on a few of the guys…”

I should have seen that coming, but I suppose that’s just another way he’s gotten me trapped here to begin with. I took a deep breath and started making my way inside Sean’s house.

I have to admit that Sean’s place is pretty nice. Wood paneling on the walls and it’s pretty obvious he and his family keep the place cleaner than he keeps his school stuff. Before I could see too much of his house, Sean grabbed me by the collar and dragged me off to his room.

“Let’s go man, I haven’t got all day and I really need to get a nut off. You said you’d do it and you’re here, so get on your knees and get to work.”

With that, Sean let me go and stripped off his clothes. He didn’t waste time trying to make it look sexy, he just took everything off and sat down on his bed, completely naked. It struck me that this was the first time in years that I was taller than Sean. I’m only about five foot six inches, and Sean towered over me at six feet.

As I walked towards him, I really started to notice things about him that I wish I wasn’t thinking about right now, like how dark his brown eyes were, or the fact that his hair was the same colour as our black baseball uniforms. Next to him, with my blond hair and grey eyes, I felt inadequate and just a bit in awe of the sheer masculinity he was exuding. Especially once I got too close and he grabbed me by the shoulder and shoved me to my knees.

“Hey man, not so rough’ I protested.

”Dude, just deal with it, you bitch about it more than Annabelle, and she’s a chick. Just do it already.”

I gave him another dirty look and started moving my head closer to his crotch. I was pleasantly surprised to see he was uncut, not that I had any experience with anything other than my own circumcised cock. I gave his dick a few tentative licks, trying to figure out for myself what I should do and how to start.

“Come on Williams, I know you’ve done this before so get to it, stop acting like you don’t want it”

With that, Sean grabbed my head and lowered my lips onto his dick. He wasn’t hard yet, but he was already a mouthful. I choked on his cock as he forced his way into my mouth. When I tried to pull off of his dick he grabbed the back of my head and held me down. I gagged and then he let me go, and his cock had grown semi-hard from that first intrusion into my mouth.

“You’re not bad at that” Sean grinned down at me. “Not bad to start, but you’ll learn quick enough I’m sure. See Williams? You almost got me hard!”

“Come on man, cut the crap and stop trying to choke me. You’re already a jackass for blackmailing me. If I do this on my own, will you let me do it without trying to jam it down my throat?”

“Sounds like someone’s more willing to do this than they were willing to admit before. I like this, I like this a lot that you’re going to do this willingly. I’ll definitely make sure to remember you saying that. Not sure why you’ve stopped sucking my dick though, you said you wanted it so get the fuck to it!”

I ignored him and went back to his cock. He was fully hard now and about eight inches long, and very thick. By now I had to admit I was starting to get into it, and was sucking about half his cock, which was all I could take. I could hear Sean moaning above me, and I was really turned on to hear him making those noises because of me. While I was sucking his dick, I reached into my baseball pants and started playing with myself. I was about six and a half inches hard, and I was harder than I’d ever been.

Sean must have seen what I was doing, because the next thing I know he’s pulling me off his dick.

“Strip. I want to see your little cock get hard from you sucking me off. Cocksucker should be naked when he’s servicing a guy anyway.”

I stripped myself of all my sweaty baseball gear and knelt back down at his feet. Now that I had access to it I started slowly jerking myself off as I was sucking Sean’s cock. We were both really getting into it, and I really liked doing it as well. Maybe that’s just proof that I like oral sex a lot, and not just that I’m gay.

Sean started grabbing the back of my head and thrusting his cock into my mouth faster and faster. I could hear his breathing start to get more uneven and irregular, and his thrusts were becoming more urgent. Without any kind of warning, Sean pulled my head down on his cock as far as it would go and started filling my mouth with his cum.
“Ohhhh yeah! I’m cumming, take that load Devin. Take that cock and that cum down your throat!”

I was choking under the assault and coughed up some of his load. I can’t believe how much he came, and more was coming as I was trying to swallow and keep from drowning in. Once he was done with his orgasm he let me off his cock without any argument, and when I looked up at him he looked satisfied, and even a little grateful. That look disappeared once he realized I was watching him, and a look of pure contempt graced his features.

“You can leave now” he said. “You did your job, and I think you’ve earned the right to keep sucking my cock in the future. So for now, I’ll keep your little secret to myself, as long as you hold up your end of the bargain. So leave Williams. Now.”

“I thought you might~”

“Might what? Be gay like you and suck you off? Not a chance. Get going or I’ll change my mind and call up a few buddies who might like to get blown.”

I quickly put my clothes back on and drove away with a massive hard-on in my pants. I knew the leg of my pants were going to be covered in pre-cum by the time I got home, but I couldn’t do anything about that. Right now the only thing I cared about was getting home.

When I got home my father were sitting in the living room waiting for me.

“How come you were so late tonight son?”

”Sorry Dad, the team decided to go out after practice. Next time I’ll call in.”

“Dinner’s in the kitchen”

I ate a quick dinner and returned to my room. As soon as I was sure that Dad wasn’t going to come in and bother me, I stripped naked, closed my door and lay down on my bed. I didn’t waste another moment and started stroking myself, thinking about what I did today. It was really different from everything I’d done with girls up to this point in my life, and I can’t get over the fact that it was the hottest thing I’d ever done. Except I’m supposed to be straight, so why am I boning up thinking about how I boned up sucking another guy’s cock? Even if it was Sean.

Thinking about sucking Sean’s dick sent me over the edge. I shot once, twice, three spurts of cum all over my chest. Breathing heavily, I grabbed my dirty underwear and wiped myself down. After that I threw on some shorts and put everything in the laundry, then turned out the lights and went to bed.

Sleep didn’t come easily to me that night. My mind was racing, thinking about what I’d done and how Sean had just so casually disposed of me once he was finished. When I did wake up, I was sticky and covered in my own cum, and sore from the tossing and turning I had done throughout the night.

I was dreading going to school today, hoping that Sean kept his word and didn’t tell anyone what had happened. Even though I have a car, I still have to get picked up by the district school bus like everyone else. It’s stupid, especially since I’m graduating this year, they should give us a little respect and let the senior students come in on their own. What was the point of working my ass off to get this car if I couldn’t even use it to make my life a little bit easier?

It was raining again, so by the time the bus actually came and picked me up, I was wet and miserable on top of being nervous out of my mind that Sean would out me sometime that day, or that he already had and I was totally dead at that point.

I wasn’t really paying attention to anything, staring out the window when I heard someone call my name and sit down next to me on the bus. It was Alex. I like Alex; he’s a cool dude. He’s only 14, but we get along pretty well even though I only ever see him on the trips to and from school, or when I need to go to the library to get something for a class.

“Hey Devin, how are you today?” He was particularly cheerful today, which was odd considering the weather and how he’s normally very reserved and quiet. I wonder what was going on that had him in such a good mood today.

“Hey yourself kiddo. I’m doing alright I guess” I replied. I wasn’t going to tell him what was going on, mostly because I still hadn’t really convinced myself that it happened or that I was safe from the consequences of what I’d done.

Alex peered over at me, a look of concern gracing his features. I’m not sure why he was always so interested in me all the time.

“Really? You don’t look it to me. You look a little bothered by something. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on, maybe I can help!”

“There’s nothing going on Alex, really. Not sure what happened with you today though, someone spike your cereal with some sugar or something? You’re never this excited about anything normally.”

“Sometimes I’m happy, you’re just never around when that happens” Alex replied, a tinge of pink creeping into his pale cheeks.

I thought I heard him mutter something, but I couldn’t make it out under his breath and I figured that I’d be better off not finding out what he said, so I just let it be for the moment.

Thankfully we weren’t too far away from school by this point, and that meant that I had to start thinking about how I was going to get through the day without getting the crap kicked out of me. First period was English, so there wasn’t going to be any problems there; Sean wasn’t even in my class. So at least I knew I’d have an hour of peace and quiet before my torment would likely begin.

When I got to gym class for my second period, I headed straight for the locker room to change and get ready for class. I knew we would be running outside even in the rain, but then that’s not exactly a rare occurrence in Washington State.

It seemed like everyone else from the class was already in the locker room waiting for me when I arrived. No one said anything at first, but a few guys did look to see if it was me when I came in and then went back to getting themselves ready for class. No one seemed like they had been told or anything, and it wasn’t like people were giving me the cold shoulder or anything like that. I wonder if that meant Sean had kept his word, or if he had been bluffing the whole time and was saving up for some blackmail later.

When I got back out of the locker room and into the gym, I saw Sean and Parker talking. I didn’t think anything of it, they’re friends and even though Parker’s an asshole, I can’t exactly do anything about them talking to each other. I hope that Sean wasn’t saying any shit about what we did last night.

I walked over to where the rest of the class was setting up and Parker came to join me. I tried to hide the look of annoyance on my face when he swaggered over and got in my face. He had a weird look on his face that I couldn’t quite place or understand.

“Heard you left practice with Sean last night. You two fuckin’ yet?” Parker sneered at me once he was close enough to speak without catching anyone else’s attention.

“The hell are you talking about, you psycho?” I whisper-yelled back at him. I was trying not to let any panic show on my face. Did he know what Sean and I had done, or was he just being his usual asshole self? I couldn’t really figure him out and decide if he knew what was going on or not, but I couldn’t let that shit go without at least challenging him for making such a bullshit observation where people might hear him.

“I said, are you fuckin around and getting dicked by my boy.” Parker snarled. “You know fags go to hell, so don’t think for a damn second I won’t help you on your way if it turns out you’re some pansy that’s too indecent to separate yourself from the rest of society. Stay the hell away from Sean, he doesn’t need to turn into a little pussy queer like you probably are.”

“Go to hell Parker. You’re getting awfully damn protective of Sean aren’t ya? Maybe you should back off before people start getting ideas about you.” I felt weird gaybaiting this asshole, but I figured that it would either provoke him to starting a fight or he’d back off. I’m not sure which one I’d prefer, even if I did know I’d probably get my ass handed to me.

Parker looked like he was actually going to take a shot at me, then for whatever reason he just shrugged, gave me a look and an obscene gesture and then stalked off to sit with the rest of his asshole friends. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I had avoided the first major confrontation of the day, but I had no idea how much longer my luck would hold out, and I was still mad that Sean might have spilled it.

I decided that during the run around the track I’d chase down Sean and figure out what the hell was going on. He wasn’t nearly as quick as me so it wasn’t too hard to keep pace with him.

”What the hell is going on Sean?” I demanded. “You already telling all the damn school about last night?”

“Bitch, keep your voice down or else everyone really will damn well hear and it won’t be because of me.” Sean responded. “I ain’t told anyone about you being a dumb cocksucking whore, but you’re pissing me off right now so you better be at my place tonight to make things right, or else. Don’t think for a second I don’t mean this little Devin. You get your ass and lips to my place tonight after school or you can kiss what’s left of your reputation goodbye.”

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe I let myself fall for that trap again. While I tried to regain some sense of what I just had happen to me, Sean started jogging ahead of me and made it clear that I wasn’t to try and talk to him again. Doing so would have gotten people talking anyway, so I just finished my run in relative peace.

School stressed me out so much more than usual today, so by the time the last bell rang and I was stumbling onto the bus for the trip home, it was no surprise to me that I didn’t even hear Alex scoot into the seat next to me and start asking me about how my day went. I know he’s cool and all, but god damn, he’s a bit annoying sometimes, even for a fourteen year old or whatever he is.

“Alex, piss off will you?” I glared out the window of the bus, not even bothering to look at him. “Seriously man, just gimme some space here and go talk to someone else for a change.”

I didn’t even have to see him to know he took what I said personally, just the way he responded told me everything I needed to know; “Yeah, sure Devin… see you around.” I could hear how despondent he sounded. I’d probably have to make it up to him, but my mind was on other things.

I was glad to get home after school. Being around people was really starting to get under my skin, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t stop thinking that everyone’s gonna find out about what’s already happened. Already happened… going to happen again… way too much involved in this situation now, and I don’t like how easily I could get outed or hurt because I sucked off the school stud.

As usual, dad wasn’t home so I took the opportunity to head to my room. I normally like to jack off when I get home, just to relieve the tension from the school day. Today was certainly tense, and I would love to get my cock going again before I deal with the rest of the night. I walked up to my room at the back of the house and peeled off my shirt. The room had a draft going because the windows weren’t the best anymore, but at least they kept most of the cold out.

My mind flashed back to staying in the locker room with him and to everything we did while we were in there. Well, everything I did, I guess he didn’t really do anything except insult me and treat me like a mouth to fuck. I was just taking the belt out of my jeans when I stopped and really thought about this whole situation. I was getting hard again and thinking about jacking off to when I sucked a guy off. That was not normal, not something a straight guy did. I did like chicks, and even though I hadn’t gotten successful hooking up or dating any, I did like them. I just didn’t find the right one for me, the one that I’d actually want to really try and impress. So then why was I only thinking about Sean lately, and why especially was I thinking about sucking Sean’s cock in an abandoned locker room that anyone could have found us in?

Now that I was thinking about this, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to jack off now. I was hard, harder than I’d been in a long time, but I also didn’t really want to acknowledge that I was getting hard because of a dude again. I also remembered that Sean was expecting me later in the evening, and I wasn’t sure if I should jack off before that or what I should do to make sure I don’t embarrass myself or give him more material to potentially blackmail me with.

I disappointedly grabbed all my clothes and dressed myself again. There’ll be time for having some fun later tonight, and I should start getting myself ready to go if I want to make sure I don’t catch hell or make things worse for myself. I went to our kitchen to see what was left in the fridge that I could have before I got going. Not much as usual, but at least there was something. I settled for the final slice of pizza from the other day and microwaved it. While waiting for the microwave, I poured myself some water and got to thinking about how to get to Sean’s place since dad took the car with him to go to work today. That meant I’d probably have to walk, so I had to leave a lot sooner than I thought I would just to get there on time.

Sean’s place was a bit of a trip from where I lived. Normally it wasn’t a problem, I’d just drive over but of course today was the one day where that wasn’t available to me, so I grabbed my bike from out of the back yard and started making tracks out to his place. Riding up on these empty streets used to be really calming for me, but this isn’t a calming stroll for me, this is becoming a mad dash to Sean’s place to protect my reputation. That’s the only reason I’m going back, not because of Sean being hot but because I don’t want the school knowing what I’d done with him. A small voice in the back of my head said that I wouldn’t go unless I wanted it on some level, but I ignored it as best I could because that was just uncool to think I’d be gay.

Half an hour later I was reaching his house again. I was sweating and exhausted, and I was really starting to regret doing this and thinking that coming over was going to do anything other than get me in deeper than I already was. As I was just getting off the bike, the front door opened. I assumed that it was Sean trying to bring me in before anyone could notice I had shown up. Instead it was Parker leaving the place. Just what I needed, another run-in with this jackass right when I’m already stressed out as it is.

Parker glowered at me “Hey fag, what the fuck are you doing here? I thought I told you that you had to stay the fuck away from the rest of us real men.”

“It’s too damn bad for you that you don’t get to run my life for me Parker, otherwise I might considering listening to what a deadbeat piece of shit like you had to say. Why don’t you just continue on your way and stop trying to pick a fight with people just because you’re unable to deal with everyone around you.”

“I should fuck you up Devin, you and your mouth are gonna get you in more shit than you can get out of, but I got better things to do than to get myself all filthy with your faggot germs. God knows I don’t want to end up the way you are, I’d have to kill myself and you should too. Not gonna warn you again, stay the fuck away from my homie.”

With one final look of disgust, Sean got into his car and drove off. I turned around to see Sean in the doorway, looking at me with a pitying look in his eyes. Once he realized I was looking at him, his expression changed to one of boredom, as though I wasn’t really worth noticing or paying attention to.

“Well, come on in now that you’ve gotten everyone’s attention. You came here for a reason and I’m damn ready to start collecting what’s mine. I need this after the day you’ve put me through Devin. Half my friends think that I’m a queer because I don’t just punch your lights out every time we meet. Now get the hell inside and start sucking my cock, just like you agreed to.”

I agreed to. In those three words I realized that I was never going to escape this situation until I moved or he moved or something else happened. I was never going to be anything other than his blowjob boy, and even though we’re teammates he’s never going to respect me as anything other than the guy he goes to for head when his girlfriend won’t give it to him.

“Get in the bedroom and don’t move once you’re there” Sean ordered. “I want you to be comfortable while I get what I want from you Devin. We’re still friends after all… even if you are nothing more than a dick loving queer. I kept up my end of the bargain, and I’m still willing to do that as long as you don’t screw things up.”

Every word he said was demeaning and was meant to show how much he dominated and controlled me now. I hated myself for getting into this situation, and I hated that part of me didn’t hate it because at least I was fulfilling that fantasy of hooking up with Sean. Everything about the whole situation was confusing and driving me completely crazy, and I hated that most of all, that feeling of not knowing how to act or what to do.

So I did what he wanted. “Sounds good Sean” I heard myself say. No idea why I said it, but I suppose I wanted to make sure I was still capable of speaking whenever I was around him and he was treating me like this. Maybe one day it’d mean I could stand up for myself.

I walked on up to his room and just sat around, not really sure what I was waiting for or why he wasn’t following me up right away. His room looked pretty normal, I guess. A few trophies and awards for his athletics. A Linkin Park poster from years ago that I couldn’t imagine was there for any other reason than because Sean was too lazy to get rid of it. The rest of the white walls were left bare, as though Sean didn’t like spending time here, or he wasn’t around often enough to really decorate. Not that it mattered to me, it was his room and hopefully I wasn’t going to see it too often.

I didn’t hear Sean coming upstairs, but all of a sudden I felt his hands turning me around and pushing down hard on my shoulders. I winced from the pain and fell to my knees.

Sean smirked at me, mischief in his eyes. “Good, you’re learning quick Williams. You’re already on your knees so quickly when I come in. I like that in my cocksuckers. Now get to work.”

I reluctantly opened my mouth and let his semi-hard cock slide in. I still wasn’t used to sucking a guy off and I gagged hard when Sean fucked my face, but he didn’t seem to notice or care that I wasn’t having an easy time of it. I did my best to try and take his thick cock in my mouth, but his cock was pressing up against the roof of my mouth and down on my tongue, so it was hard for me to breathe and do anything other that splutter and gag while he sawed his cock in and out of my mouth.

I tried to reach up and push him away, but I couldn’t get a good grasp of his front in order to push him away. I choked once more and Sean finally pulled away; my throat was sore from what he was doing just to get himself hard that I couldn’t do anything but cough for a few seconds after he pulled out. I could feel some of his pre-cum and my drool coating my face and I realized that I must have looked like a mess, and that was before we really did anything other than get started with what I knew was going to be a rough night for me.

“Hurry up man, you’re choking all over the place and being a pussy about things. You know what happens if you don’t suck me off good Williams, so back to work you go. But because I’m a nice guy, I’m gonna let you do it yourself instead of just forcing my cock down your throat again, even though I know you love it.”

Sean said all of this while looking directly at the growing bulge in my crotch, and I knew I was busted again. Still, if he was going to let me take over then I may as well make myself really comfortable. I started stripping off my clothes for the second time that day and grabbed hold of my hard cock. This time when I was kneeling down Sean didn’t do anything except nod approvingly at me. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but if he was smiling then it could only mean that he was going to keep up his end of the bargain, or at least that’s what I hoped it meant.

This time I let my hands roam a little bit. With my right hand I moved to cup and fondle his balls. They were big and hung down the front of him. I was fascinated at the rough texture of his ball skin and how hairy he was; I knew he didn’t shave his pubes but his balls were incredibly hairy as well, much more than I am and it made me wonder why I was so hairless by comparison. My left hand started snaking up his body and grabbing around his torso, while I started to reach out to his cock with my tongue and slowly lick along the side of his cock. I peeled back his foreskin and had a look at the head of his cock. He was leaking pre-cum already and I gave his cockhead a lick with my tongue.

Above me, Sean moaned his pleasure and approval. “Ohhh yeah, that’s good man. You’re learning really quick what to do, make me happy man, make it good and we can do this more often, I won’t tell a soul.”

At this, I started to relax a bit more and get into it. I went back to stroking my hard, circumsized cock with my right hand, while I was slowly sliding my mouth over this thick uncut cock. I was bobbing my head on his cock and realizing that I was actually turned on by this, and that I was even starting to take more cock down my throat than I had been before now, and even more than when Sean was face fucking me a few minutes ago.

I could hear Sean moaning and his cock started to thicken a bit, so I knew he was getting close. At this point I didn’t care anymore, I was lost to the sensations of sucking this thick cock in front of me and I stopped thinking about what it meant or what could happen, I just knew that I wanted to do this because I wanted Sean’s cock in my mouth. I didn’t even really think about what would happen when he came. Last time he shot down my throat and I wasn’t eager to try that again, but who knows what he would want to do this time.

“Fuck man, I’m cumming! I’m cumming again you queer! Here’s that load I know you’ve wanted”

Sean pulled out of my mouth and started shooting his load all over my face. His cock looked angry and started pulsing, I could see some of the cum shooting towards me. With the little warning I had I quickly shut my eyes, but I still felt the first bursts of cum on my face before I could shut my eyes. The first shot of cum landed on my left cheek, and then Sean completely lost control; his cum landed in my hair and on my eyes, ears and forehead. I counted at least five shots before he rested his cock on my lips and shot the last two little bits of load onto my lips. I felt really gross having that much cum on my face, and I was reaching for something to clean myself up with when Sean grabbed my hands and put them behind me.

“Oh no. You’re not done yet Williams. Don’t bother getting cleaned up because I’ve got a lot more cum for you to taste. You just sit tight and wait for me to get ready for you again, there’s no way you’re going home so quickly, not if you want things to stay between us.”

I was right. This was going to be a long night…

I was naked in Sean’s room, covered in rapidly drying cum, and I realized that this was not nearly as fun and exciting as I wanted it to be. All those dreams that I tried to ignore about us having sex were coming true, and I guess this proves that dreams are nowhere close to reality. He was rough and didn’t care about me; it was always going to be about what he wanted and simply taking his pleasure from me. But here I was anyway. I wasn’t defending myself and trying to leave, or doing anything to show that I was upset with what was going on. Instead I was naked, shivering, and hard as a rock.

For the moment, I just sat there on the carpeted floor of Sean’s room, not really doing anything or noticing anything that was happening around me. I felt some wetness on my left thigh, and realized that I was dripping Sean’s cum onto myself. I blushed thinking that I was covering myself in his load, and that I wasn’t doing anything to clean it up or make myself more presentable.

After a few minutes of sitting there feeling sorry for myself, I realized that this had to change. I wasn’t supposed to be this guy, this cocksucker who just came at the call of some other guy. I’m supposed to be straight; I like girls. Now I’ve seen what it’s like to be with Sean and I don’t have to pretend that I’m interested in guys anymore. It was just a curiosity thing, that’s what it was. And why not Sean anyway, he’s like the ultimate guy, so it makes sense that I’d want to try with someone like him, doesn’t it? I know for sure now that I don’t like it and won’t ever do it again.

Except I’m hard. And this is the second time I’ve sucked Sean’s cock. Hell, this time I went out of my way to go to Sean’s place just to suck him a second time in as many days. That is not something a straight guy does, even if he’s being blackmailed by a shitty human being. A straight guy would man up and call the idiot out on his blackmail and let everyone see that the other guy was a piece of crap. If I had done that, maybe I wouldn’t be here right now. What am I then? I’m hard, and that means that I liked what I was doing on some level, which means I have to like having sex with guys.

My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, with Sean coming back into the room, fully dressed. I had forgotten that I was at Sean’s place, and he made sure to let me know what he thought of my appearance.

“What a fucking fag, sitting there staring at my cum on you. I thought you’d at least be dignified about this and clean yourself up, but if you like having all my jizz dry on you then fine, you can stay like that for the rest of the night.”

“Bitch, crawl on over here and let me use you as a foot rest. You better not drip anymore of my load anywhere, or I swear I’ll have you lick it up. Now get over here, I want to watch some TV and need something to relax on.”

I reached to put on some clothes or to at least clean myself off a bit. If I was going to put up with this garbage, I wanted to be comfortable while doing it, and hopefully he’d just let me leave sooner than later tonight. Who knows, he might even be joking and let me go right away instead of continuing to treat me like garbage. As I reached for my clothes, Sean reached out and slapped me across the face.

“No one said anything about you getting dressed Williams. You had a chance to clean yourself up and look like a guy again. You chose to stay like this and look like the cocksucking fag you are. Stay naked and get your ass over here; if you wanted to be dressed and one of the guys you should have gotten dressed while you had the chance.”

Part of me hoped that he meant that I could have walked out of here and he would have forgotten the whole thing if I had just gotten myself dressed and wiped the cum off myself. I guess I had enough time to do so, and I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t just done that. I mean, Sean’s treating me like garbage, but would he actually have things go back to the way they were last week? Not that his treatment of me last week was great, but at least he treated me like a human being, and that is better than being nothing more than his slave like I am now.

I shuffled over to where Sean was sitting on his bed and kneeled down on my hands and knees so that he could use my back as a footrest. I didn’t have my watch or phone on me so I couldn’t really tell how long it had been, but I guess it was around half an hour before Sean finally moved from where he was sitting, and started rubbing himself through his jeans. Great, he’s ready for another round, just what I need and wanted. I can’t believe he’s going to make me suck him off again, wasn’t once tonight enough? I was fed up, and I wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t going to take it anymore.

“You’re not seriously going to make me suck you off again are you Sean? Once should be more than enough, and I shouldn’t even be doing it at all. I’m straight Sean, we both know that, so how about we put an end to this nonsense and we act like this didn’t happen.”

He laughed. Sean simply looked at me with this incredulous look on his face, and he laughed. It was the kind of laugh where you know the person is mocking you and they don’t believe a word of what they’ve just heard, but they laugh because they can’t figure out how to take you seriously. Embarrassed wouldn’t even begin to cover how I felt, especially once he stopped laughing long enough to respond.

“This did happen. In fact, it’s happened twice. It’s going to keep happening, and I’m going to continue lording over the fact that you are going to be my cocksucker for the rest of the year, and as long afterwards as I decide I need to have someone to empty my balls into. “

Sean took this opportunity to stand up and stand over me.

“And do you know why Devin? Because I will tell every goddamn person in this town and at school that the only thing you want to be in life is the guy sucking my cock. People will believe it, why do you think I called you out on it before? You’re not nearly as good at hiding it as you think, and I guarantee that people will believe that you’re a cocksucking fag because that’s what they already think. So you may as well get used to this, because whether you want it or not, this is your life now.”

Sean grabbed my hands and put them on his jeans, right at the fly and held my hands there. I couldn’t believe the things he was saying. Was I really so obvious? How could people know what I am when I’m so sure that I’m not gay.

“Suck my cock Williams. Suck my cock now. Pull down my jeans and put my dick in your mouth.”

Sean used his hands to make me pull down his jeans, but then just waited for me to continue doing the rest of the job. I hated myself for this; this wasn’t anything like how I wanted it to be, and every moment I spent with Sean now was humiliating and driving me crazy inside. This was worse than anything, and it would almost be worth it for him to tell everyone just so I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit anymore.

Except then it wouldn’t just be him and his idiot friends, it would be everyone that was out to either attack me for being different or to blackmail me into being their dick sucker too. This was already a bad situation for me, I didn’t want to think about what would happen if more people started treating me the way Sean does. And my dad… it’d kill him to see this happening, this could ruin our lives and we just didn’t have any way of moving.

So I made a choice, and hated myself for it. I reached up and started pulling down Sean’s boxers, freeing his hard cock from its prison. Sean was already hard. His eight inches of cock seemed bigger than before, or maybe I just felt smaller because of how fucked I knew my situation was, and that right now there was nothing I could do about it.

“Get to it, slut.” Sean was pretty clear that this was going to be worse than before, but this was becoming ridiculous.

I slid the head of his cock into my mouth and felt it press against the roof of my mouth and press my tongue down. It was huge, but it wasn’t straining me as much this time because I wasn’t fighting it as much this time. I just let him push his cock into my mouth and wait for me to bob my head on the shaft. I slowly slid down on his cock and licked the underside of his shaft.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch myself do this or to think about what was happening to me for the second time this evening. I wanted to block all this out now and just get through this blowjob without going crazy and hating every second of it. Maybe if I pretend that it’s going to be the last time it’ll be easier to deal with. It won’t be, but at least it’s something I can pretend while I’m getting my throat abused by a giant piece of cock that’s now being forced past my gag reflex.

While I was sucking Sean’s cock, I heard a faint noise in the background. I couldn’t place what it was at first, because the sound was lost in the background of the television being on and the sounds of me sucking his cock and choking on Sean’s cock when he pressed too far down my throat. It didn’t help that I still hadn’t opened my eyes, so when I heard the noise a second and third time, I opened my eyes to try and figure out what was going on. Sean had his phone out, and in that moment I realized exactly what he had done.

I pulled off his cock and stood up, ready to fight and anticipating that I’d get the shit beat out of me, but I wasn’t going to take this shit anymore.

“You fucker! You took pictures of me? What the hell is all this about. Fuck you and fuck everything about this stupid plan of yours. I should have known better than to trust you or have anything to do with you!”

I grabbed my stuff and stormed out of his room, and was surprised to see that he let me go without a fight. I was halfway through getting dressed before Sean came out of his room, with a smirk on his face and his phone in his hands.

“Who would have thought that you would have the balls to stand up for yourself. The thing is, it’s too late. And now I’m mad, so I might do something you’ll regret. I could send those photos to everyone. One text is all it would take. Or you could do what I say and I’ll delete them tonight. No questions asked, they’ll be gone as though they never existed.”

The mingled look of fury and panic on my face would have been hilarious in any other situation, but I figured at this point that everything that had happened tonight was going exactly how Sean planned it.

“Tell me how to get rid of those pictures Sean. Don’t fuck around with me, just tell me.”

Sean laughed again, like I’d said the funniest joke in the world.

“Nice choice of words Williams.” Sean giggled. “That’s exactly what I was going to do. Fuck you, I mean. I’m going to fuck you and then I will get rid of those photos. The alternative is that I send those pictures to everyone, and then fuck you anyway in a week once your life is ruined.”

He dangled the phone in front of me, almost as though he was daring me to try and steal it from him. I tried to figure out if I could do so and get away, but I didn’t like my chances and even if I did get his phone, what would I do with it without his password to get into it?

Sean looked at me, and I could see that he was absolutely serious when he spoke next. His voice was very low, very deep and very, very dangerous sounding.

“Beg me Devin. Beg me to fuck you. If you do it well enough, I might just listen to you and do what you want. Tell me how you’ll do anything to keep your secret, that you’ll even let me fuck you like the slut you are just to keep this a secret.”
“…please fuck me Sean.” I said with as little emotion and tone as possible. It was barely a whisper, but I heard myself say those words and could feel the tears flowing from my eyes as I made myself feel even lower.

A disapproving look from Sean, and a series of movements on the screen of his phone caught my attention.

“You’ll have to do better than that, whore. You certainly don’t sound like you want it, or that you care about what happens if you don’t do exactly what I want. Maybe I’ll have to make a point to you.”

With that, he sent the text. I heard my phone vibrate.

“Go, answer it.”

I opened my phone to see who texted me. It was the pictures of me, with Sean’s cock in my mouth. I looked absolutely awful, but the fact was that he sent them, which means he could do it again.

“I only sent those to you. Unless you want them going beyond this room, I suggest you try again and make sure you really fucking mean it this time.”

I took a deep breath, steadied myself and promised myself that this was the best I could do to get out of this situation now. I turned myself around so that my back was turned to him, then looked back over my shoulder at him.

“Please Sean” I cooed at him. “Please, come fuck me, I’ll do anything you want in order to make you get rid of those photos. Do what you want, just get rid of the pictures. I want you to come fuck me.”

Sean was laughing at me, and I could see that he found me degrading myself like this to be incredibly funny. He put the phone down on the coffee table and grabbed me by the hair.

“Oh man, that was great, I can’t believe you actually said that. You’re such a fucking slut Devin, I can’t believe we actually let you play on the team and stay near us for all these years. All these years you’ve been perving on us, you’re disgusting, and now I’m going to get some sweet payback for all the times you sat there and used me as your queer jackoff material. Get on your back like a good whore, I’m gonna fuck you right here on the floor like you deserve.”

Sean pushed me down and waited until I got on my back. Once I was on my back he threw my legs up so that my ass was exposed. I hadn’t ever done anything with my hole before, I just thought it was for taking dumps out of, and now Sean was going to stuff his cock into me. I couldn’t begin to guess how much this was going to hurt, and I just waited for him to start.

Instead, Sean started things off by spitting on my ass and rubbing the spit in my ass. I don’t know if I should feel grateful that he’s trying to lube me up a little bit, or if this was just for his own enjoyment and that he liked spitting on me. Either way, it was delaying the inevitable and that was something that made me hate him slightly less.

“I want to see your face when I fuck your pussy Devin. I wanna watch you learn your place in this school and this community, and I want you to know that I was the one that proved you were nothing more than a faggot pretending to be a real man. Take this last chance to remember what it was like to be a man, after this you’re just going to be a pair of holes to fuck.”

Without giving me anymore warning, Sean shoved his whole cock into my virgin ass. I screamed in pain, flailing with my arms and legs, trying to get away from the burning in my ass and the sheer force used to fuck my hole. It felt like he was tearing me up, and I tried grabbing and pushing him away. I couldn’t do a thing and he just grinned down at me.

With Sean holding onto my legs, I couldn’t escape or do anything other than moan in pain as he continued pushing his cock into my ass. I thought for sure that he had ripped something or that I was going to be seriously hurt, and then he stopped pushing forward. It still hurt more than anything I had ever felt before, but it wasn’t getting worse now. I think that meant he was all the way in me, and that there wasn’t any more cock that he could put in me.

I felt full, bloated and ashamed of myself for being his fuck toy. I was crying from the pain and the humiliation.

“You’re all mine Williams. Your ass is all mine, and I’m going to enjoy this. All the rumours you’ve heard about me are true, so I guess you better hold on tight and get ready to get rammed like a street hoe.”

Sean started pulling out and thrusting back into me with long strokes. Each time he pulled out it felt like he was taking part of me with him, and everytime he pushed back in he moaned and squeezed my ankles tighter, making me wince in pain. Sean’s strokes were erratic, he was hitting different angles and really trying to stretch me out, and all I could do was take it.

Then he hit a certain spot in my ass, and it was like an electric shock went through my whole body. I spasmed and gasped, and Sean noticed the effect fucking me there had.

“Well, look at that! Looks like you like being fucked! You’re getting hard from me pounding your hole, what a joke!”

I looked down and saw that I was getting hard and leaking precum on my stomach. Sean started fucking harder and this time he focused everything on that spot in my ass. It was driving me crazy having him keep hitting that spot, and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.

Sean switched to shorter, faster strokes and I could feel a change in his demeanor too. He was moaning, but it was much deeper and more animalistic sounding, and he wasn’t as in control of his actions. He must have been close to cumming, and so was I and I didn’t know why that was because I couldn’t possibly want or like this.

Then it happened. I felt myself cumming and without even thinking it I yelled out that I was cumming.

“Fuck, I’m cumming!”

“Fucking fag, cumming from my cock, take my load now bitch!”

I shot my load all over myself, five spurts from my cock and at the same time, I could feel something spilling into my ass. Sean had cum and he didn’t even think to pull out of me. He just shot his load in my ass. I now had his load on my face, down my throat and up my ass. I couldn’t be more humiliated.

“Great. Now get out of here before I change my mind and keep the damn pictures.”

I dressed and limped over to my bike. As I got on my bike I gingerly tried to sit down in a way that wouldn’t hurt my ass more than it already had. I didn’t look back, I didn’t want to see him there laughing at me, but I could hear his voice and see his face long after I couldn’t see the property.

I went to bed right away that night, not having any idea what tomorrow would bring.

I didn’t know it at the time, but while I slept, Sean was wide awake. I had not idea what was happening until I got to school the next day…

Waking up today was hard, and it didn’t help that I overslept after last night’s insanity. I was sore and I realized that I never bothered showering from last night, so I had dried cum covering me everywhere. The combination of cum and sweat from the ride back home created a truly awful smell, and I was really grateful dad wasn’t home to smell or see it on me. I gingerly stepped into the shower, making sure not to let too much touch my sore butt. Once I got into the shower, I turned on the water and tried to make sure it wouldn’t be too hot, the last thing I wanted to do was scald myself after being fucked and roughly treated last night.

Of course that would be the first thing I did then. I wasn’t paying attention to the temperature knobs and roasted myself. I screamed out, both from the pain of the hot water cascading over my sore body and hole, and also from the shock of the water being so hot and hitting me all at once. I staggered back and blindly tried to change the temperature while keeping myself as far away from the steady stream of liquid death I sent hurtling towards myself. This was also not a good idea, since I turned it too far the other way and changed my hot shower into an ice bath. Another scream, and this time I decided I should actually to see what I’m doing before I make this day even more miserable than yesterday was.

Now that I turned the temperature of the water into something my body could tolerate and deal with today, I got into figuring out how to wash myself down. I had dried cum all over my face, which I realized I didn’t even wipe off my face before leaving Sean’s place last night. It had long since dried, but I was in a hurry to get to class on time now. I washed my face with the facecloth I brought with me, and I could feel my skin tearing a bit as the abrasive towel started to rinse away most of the dried cum away. Washing most of my body wasn’t too much of a problem, I was sore but that’s normal from sports so I knew how to make sure I didn’t aggravate the muscles any more than I needed to, but when I started to clean below the waist, everything I did to clean near my butt really hurt.

I did what I could and then dried myself off as delicately as I could. I didn’t have any time for breakfast today so I started running for the bus stop. I sprinted there with my backpack and just barely arrived before the school bus would have left me behind, and when I got to my seat Alex was already there waiting for me. Great, just a fantastic way of starting my day.

“Hi Alex” I said, trying to be polite and hoping that he doesn’t hold yesterday against me.

“Devin.”

Crap. Sure sounds like he’s still pissed off about it. Who knew teenagers could hold grudges for this long?

“Look, Alex, about yesterday…”
He cut me off.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

He wouldn’t look at me while he said it, and just continued staring out the window for the next few minutes. I’m not sure why, it wasn’t like there was anything new outside to look at, and the weather wasn’t all that exciting either, so I couldn’t figure out what he saw out there that was so interesting. I didn’t know what else to say to him, and I wasn’t really in the mood to talk anyways so I just lowered my head and tried not to think too much about what was going to happen at school today.

When the bus arrived at campus I raced out of the bus and headed towards the main doors so I could get to my locker and my stuff. What I didn’t expect was for Annabelle to come flying out the doors, looking utterly unhinged and start pounding her fists into my chest, screaming profanities and curses at me like I’d done something wrong. Something other than having her boyfriend blackmail me into sucking his dick and getting fucked, I mean.

I thought that was what she was upset about actually, that Sean had lied and told people and now everything was going to shit, so I got pissed off and started screaming back at her.

“What the hell is going on you fucking psycho!? Get a goddamn grip and chill the hell out, you’re a total whack job Annabelle, how the hell can anyone put up with someone this insane.”

“SHUT UP DEVIN! Everyone knows you did it now, you fucking piece of shit!”

Oh hell, he did tell everyone. That bastard lied to me and told everyone even after he swore he wouldn’t.

“Listen here you crazy bitch. I didn’t do a damn thing with Sean, and I don’t know what he told you but he’s as full of shit as ever, so back right~”

“YOU KILLED HIM!”

I recoiled. Sean was dead? That was news to me, he was fine yesterday wasn’t he..?

Annabelle was still screaming her head off and was attracting quite a crowd of people to the front of the school, including most of Sean’s friends, and even some of the teachers who didn’t feel like they needed to do anything since school hadn’t started yet.

“You killed him! Parker told me you were there last night and you were the last one to see him, he’s dead and it’s all your fault and I’ll kill you for this Devin! You killed him you killed him and I’LL KILL YOU!”

Parker and the rest of Sean’s gang started getting closer to where we were all standing, and I was pretty sure they weren’t here just to tell me how great I was at baseball. I was starting to back away when Principal Barrett came by and broke through the crowd.

“That is enough! Lee, Williams, come with me. The rest of you should get to class unless you want to spend the next decade in detention.”

Principal Barrett grabbed Annabelle and I by the arms and dragged us through the crowd and into the school. As I passed by, I heard Parker yell something at me that made me sure that this was going to be the worst day of my life.

“We are going to get you for what you did, you little faggot.”

I didn’t know if they were mad about Sean dying or that they knew my secret or both, but I had a feeling that things were going to get a lot worse. The last thing I saw before I got dragged into the school was Alex, looking at me with worry and fear in his eyes.

******************************************

When we got into Principal Barrett’s office, she sat us down in chairs opposite her and stared at us both. Annabelle and I just ignored each other and waited for someone to say something.

“Devin” Principal Barrett began, “your friend Sean Cobb was found dead late last night. A number of people claim you were the last person to see him last night, and that you were upset when you left. I don’t believe you’ve done anything, but if there’s anything at all you want to say, you should tell me now and I will do what I can to ensure things are done in a fair manner.”

I was confused, she said that she didn’t think I did anything wrong, so why was she asking me to confess to something?

“I don’t understand Ms. Barrett. Why would I have anything to tell you. Do you think that was the one that killed Sean in that accident?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything Devin, but Annabelle is convinced that it was you, and there are people who claim that you were there last night, were you?”

“Yes, I was there.”

“Can you tell me what you were doing?” Principal Barrett asked?

“Oh yes, you really should explain why your queer ass was at my boyfriend’s place last night, instead of having him spend the night with ME.” Annabelle jeered at me.

I knew I was blushing and I very quietly responded
“I’m his teammate, I went to his place to talk about baseball stuff.”

Annabelle laughed and turned away from me, obviously not believing a word of it. Principal Barrett, however, just stared at me with her big, searching eyes. After a few seconds, she turned away and said we were both free to go back to our classes, and that there would be counselors on hand for people who needed support.

As I was walking back, Annabelle punched me in the stomach and left me outside the office. It was then that Alex came by and asked what happened.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? It’s bad enough that everyone thinks what they do about me now, it’s only going to get worse from here.”

“Devin,” Alex began, “you need to tell someone, otherwise you’re going to get overwhelmed by everything. If you can’t talk to me about it here, let’s find a place at lunch where you don’t have to worry about people overhearing you. Just come find me in the library at lunch, you know where I’ll be.”

I could have sworn his eyes were twinkling when he said that last part, but I agreed and we parted ways. I took a deep breath and headed on my way to math, waiting until lunch time and hopefully a resolution out of this mess.

Lunch in the library wasn’t really what I had in mind with my day today, but then I didn’t really expect to have half the school chasing me down, trying to beat the shit out of me. I also didn’t really expect to come to school and find out Sean was dead hours after I was in his house, being blackmailed into sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. I couldn’t really believe that he was dead, especially since there wasn’t any reason for him to have gone out last night… unless he was going to share the pictures. That would definitely explain some of why the rest of the people were so mad at me, especially Annabelle. They either already saw the pictures or they were going to see the pictures, and it certainly seems like at least Annabelle had seen the pictures, so he lied to me and now I can’t even tell him how much he’s going to have ruined my life because he made things worse by making me look like I killed him now.

I started winding my way between the bookshelves, looking for Alex. I knew he’d be in his usual corner out by the window and far away from the door. I couldn’t blame him. It was quiet in that corner, there wasn’t anyone who normally went there because the books weren’t helpful for most courses, and students in general didn’t really go out of their way to head to the library to begin with, so they weren’t going to go specifically to the back corner away from everything even remotely interesting just to bother a freshman.

As expected, I found Alex over by the old newspaper archives. I’m not even sure why we had those in the school, but they were bulky and a perfect place to have a conversation that you didn’t want to have overheard by people who had a problem with you. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do yet, but I needed to think quickly since I could see him and he just waved me over. I walked on over and took a seat in the chair across the little work table from him.

Alex leaned forward and placed his elbows on the desk, lowering his voice even though there was no one around as far as we could tell.

“So what’s going on Devin? I haven’t seen you this jumpy ever before, and what was with the big group after you and Principal Barrett and Annabelle? They say you killed Sean or something? I couldn’t figure out what they were going on about, so what’s the story?”

As he spoke, Alex started to talk faster and faster, and he also got louder as well, as though he was really eager to find out some gossip before everyone else did. I guess it was gossip now too, since everyone was talking about it and it’s now the big story of the year at school.

“Well, that was a lot of questions at once now wasn’t it? Where to begin, since you gave me about three seconds to actually try and respond before you started bombarding me with more questions” I replied.

“So, first of all, I didn’t kill Sean, I only just found out about it when that psychopath Annabelle started freaking out at me in the courtyard. I don’t entirely believe that he’s dead, but I guess we just have to take what everyone’s been saying as true until we can get home and watch the news or something.”

I continued on, not really giving Alex much of a chance to absorb the information I was giving him.

“Look, I need you to be serious for a second.” Alex gave me a look, as if to say that he was always serious. “I mean more serious than this, I have something I want to talk to you about, and it will probably help explain everything that’s happening. I don’t know what to do and you’re better with people and things than me, so maybe you’ll know an idea that I won’t have come up with.”

“I…” I faltered, not really sure how to say this and realizing that I had to say something to someone before I went crazy, and I knew that Alex would be nice about it after I told him everything. I think he would be nice to me, at least.

“I had sex with Sean.”

Alex just stared at me, completely incredulous and stunned by what I said. He yelled out

“You had SEX with him!? But you’re a guy, you’re straight!”

“Quiet man! Jeez, tell everyone why don’t you? I told you to be serious, and the first thing you do is flip out and tell the whole library my secret. Thank god it’s lunch and no one’s in here except us anyway.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. It’s just a lot to take in, you never told me you were gay or bi or anything like that” Alex retorted to me.

“I didn’t think I was, okay! Sean said he caught me checking out him and some of the other guys on the team, and he threatened to tell everyone if I didn’t do what he said. You know what the team’s like, it would have made my life a living hell. So I did it, and it started with sucking him off and got worse from there.”

“The last time it happened I got really hard, and I don’t know how but he made me cum and I don’t want to talk about what we were doing, except that I shot a load so I guess I have to be gay because otherwise why would I LIKE what he was doing? I’m so confused about this and now this is all happening and everyone hates me anyway.”

I was starting to get ragged in my breathing and my voice was breaking, but now that I had gotten started I had to tell Alex everything and get the story off my chest.

“He keeps blackmailing me, and at first it was just the threat of violence but now he’s got pictures of what we were doing and I don’t even know what happened to those pictures. I know that Parker was there last time I had to do what he wanted and he was even more evil than last time, so I don’t know if that means that Sean showed people the pictures, but that would mean he broke his promise to me that he wouldn’t tell everyone, so I’m really scared and if people know then they’re going to use this as a reason to say I killed Sean.”

I was starting to hyperventilate now, so I didn’t notice that Alex had moved over to my side of the table. What happened next completely blew me away.

Alex was kissing me.

This was so different than when Sean would force me to suck him. This time the flesh against my lips was softer, less insistent and much less forceful. It was something different, and I didn’t know what to think of it so I just didn’t do anything until he realized that I wasn’t sure what to do and stepped away. I pushed him away, not wanting to think about what it would mean if he kept kissing me.

He looked disappointed. “Devin, I’m gay too. It’s okay, you’ll see that it’s going to be okay. All of this that happened doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be treated badly here.”

Alex sat back down in his seat. He was red faced and breathing heavily, and I was doing the same. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, each thinking about what had just happened and what we were going to do next.

I found myself watch Alex as he spoke, noticing different things about him that I hadn’t seen before, and realizing that I was starting to look at him the way I looked at Sean. This wasn’t right. I still didn’t really appreciate the idea that I might be into dudes. Sean was different. That was just one athlete admiring the body of another athlete. If I were to start looking at Alex that way…

I mean, Alex was cute, I guess. A bit shorter than me, but I guess that makes sense since he’s only fourteen and I’m seventeen. He’s nothing like Sean though. Sean was muscular and you could tell that he played sports for his living. Alex was slender, and you could just as easily tell that he didn’t play sports of any kind. But why was I even thinking this, I wasn’t attracted to guys anyway. So why was I still staring?

Alex started to move closer, and I started to panic, I didn’t want to deal with this, I didn’t want to be gay or bi or whatever he was. I wanted to be straight and have a girlfriend and have kids and do everything that everyone who’s happy expects to do. I heard him speak and then I completely lost it and panicked.

“Devin, I~”

”NO! Don’t say it, whatever it is I don’t want to hear it.”

I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I got up and ran away. Away from someone who just heard all my problems and tried to make things better. If I had looked back, I would have seen that Alex looked like his world had been taken away from him. But I didn’t look back, all I did was keep running away from the idea that I might actually like another dude.

After lunch today I have science, and when I got there I knew I was a complete mess. I could feel myself breathing heavily and the drip of sweat coming down my back and forehead was obvious to everyone who even glanced at me. Not that I had to explain myself to anyone or anything like that, but it probably looked really weird that I was sweating so much and sprinting through the school. I don’t think anyone thought anything of it.

I wasn’t really focused on science today anyway. I just had a complete meltdown with Alex and realized that I was actually sort of interested in having sex with him like a real gay guy would. Worse than that, I had PE with Parker and the rest of the idiots right after this. I caught Annabelle out of the corner of my eye and I decided to have a look at what she looked like; I realized I never really gave her any thought, except as Sean’s girlfriend and pain in my ass, but I needed something to try and prove that I still had some interest in girls, something that would prove I’m not gay. So I started to really have a look at her and see if I got hard looking at what she’s got going on.

Annabelle is short. I hadn’t noticed before because Sean was so tall and made everyone look short around him, but Annabelle is really, really short. I didn’t realize that she was only around five foot five inches tall. She was also really slender, which worked for her but made her look really young. I guess Sean liked that sorta thing, since all his other girls were like that too. I mean, she’s pretty, and I could totally see myself bangin her if I had an opportunity. So how come I wasn’t getting hard when I thought about her naked?

I was getting a headache, and I didn’t want to deal with anything anymore. After science I went to the office to go home. Lucky for me, the principal was right outside the office doors and saved me the trouble of going inside.

“Principal Barrett, I’m really not feeling well from everything that’s happened today. Can I please go home?”

The principal looked at me with her eyes showing concern, even though I could tell she was suspicious about the timing of when I wanted to go home, and that she would definitely not be letting this go. I figured I should just turn around and head to class when she gave me her response.

“Yes, perhaps you should go home Devin, you don’t look well, you’re all flushed and sweating. I’ll have someone take your work back to you later tonight so that you don’t get too far behind.”

I couldn’t believe my good luck. Before principal Barrett could change her mind, I thanked her and left the building and headed for home.

******************************************************

Normally it was only a fifteen minute bus trip to the school, but obviously I had to walk home since I didn’t wait for the end of class. Still, it wasn’t even two yet, so there wasn’t going to be much traffic that I’d have to worry about, so I could jaywalk a bit and cut down on my walking time. Not that there was ever any traffic around here, no one lived here if they could avoid it. When I got home no one was home, which also wasn’t all that surprising considering it was still work time for dad. I headed up to my room and laid back on my bed just staring at the ceiling and wondering what the hell had happened to my life over the last couple of days.

One week ago my life was normal. I had friends and a good social life at school, and I got to play sports, even if I was terrified most of the time. I had occasional dates with girls and didn’t think my life would be any different from millions of other guys my age. Now I’m sitting in my room faking an illness to stay away from people who think I killed their friend and my teammate, and I’m more attracted to guys than I am to girls. Hell, I started sucking cock.

Thinking about the first time I sucked cock, I instinctively started to re-adjust myself as I got harder in my pants. I remembered the way Sean smelled and tasted. There was a hint of sweat on his body and his deodorant was strong that day. Thinking about what we did and all the images racing through my mind got me completely hard, so I stood up to strip off my clothes and get naked. I always jerked off after school; I didn’t see any reason to stop that just because everything else went completely to hell over the last few days.

I walked over to the bathroom and to the only mirror we had in the house. I still didn’t have much muscle on me, and I felt really skinny compared to the rest of the team, but you could definitely see that there were signs of life on my frame. Nothing too muscular, but some tone that I was hoping to turn into something more substantial soon. Nothing like what Sean had.

When I got back to my room my cock was still standing straight ahead, waiting for me to get back to what I was doing. I grabbed the jar of Vaseline from under my bed and coated my hard cock with a layer of grease, and grabbed onto my cock with both hands. I started to stroke myself again, but this time I tried really hard to think of a girl that could turn me on. I even thought about some of the hot chicks on tv all the time and thinking about what I would do with them, if I ever had the chance.

The effect was instant; the moment I started to think of naked girls and having sex with girls, I started losing my hard on. I let out a long, frustrated groan. This was not the way things were supposed to be, and I was getting really pissed off by the fact that I couldn’t even get myself hard thinking about fucking a hot chick with big tits and a nice ass.

Sean had a nice ass, nice and muscled and really firm when I squeezed it. Thinking about Sean seemed to get my dick’s attention at any rate; I was starting to bone up again and was able to go back to stroking myself off. I thought about how it felt to have Sean’s cock in my mouth, and remembering how much I thought I would hate the taste of his dick in my mouth, but also remembering that I actually seemed to like it and that I was sucking him without him forcing it down my throat. I unconsciously licked the roof of my mouth, pretending that it was the same as sucking his cock, even though the two different kinds of skin didn’t feel the same at all.

I was really stroking myself hard and fast now, just the way Sean was thrusting into my mouth when he fucked my face at his house. I wanted to keep pace with the memory I had and the senses I had of the incident. I could feel my balls start to draw up, and I knew I was close. When I came, I moaned out Sean’s name and I realized that I really, truly was gay and that I had a lot of things to figure out.

I shot a spurt of cum onto my shoulder, and a few smaller splashes of cum hit my chest and belly button. I was completely exhausted from jerking off, but I quickly grabbed a paper towel from the kitchen and wiped myself down.

I really was starting to feel a bit sick now, so I swallowed some Tylenol and curled up under my covers. I knew it was too early to go to sleep, but I thought a quick nap would be good for me to have before whoever it was came over and dropped off my homework for the day.

I woke up later that night to the sound of my doorbell. Shit, I thought, I completely forgot that someone was going to drop off my work. I wasn’t sure where dad was at this point in time, and I also should have checked to see what time it was. Obviously it was after school if someone was ringing the bell looking for me. I grabbed some shorts and went to answer the door, not even bothering to cover myself up with a shirt. I tried to imagine who it would be to drop off my stuff. No sense worrying about it, I’ll find out once I open the door. When I opened the door, I was relieved to see that it was Alex. Well, relieved that it wasn’t Parker or someone else, and at least now I could talk to Alex and fix all the shit that just happened today.

Alex’s eyes widened when he first aw me. I guess he’s never seen me shirtless before, which I thought was odd considering how often we hang out. Then again, that’s ot really something I used to think about, so who knows. Alex’s eyes kept scanning up and down my body, and he flushed ever so slightly before he started to speak.

“H-hi Devin… I have your stuff for you. Ummm, is now not a good time? I can come back later if you want.”

“It’s fine” I replied. “Come in, let me just get dressed, or were you just going to drop the stuff off and go?”

“I can’t stay too long, it’s already pretty late and it’s a school night. I’ll just wait for you out here.”

I checked the clock and realized that it was already eight at night. I guess that meant dad was taking on a double shift at work. Looking back at Alex, I quickly replied to him

“Sure, that’s fine. I’ll be back in a minute, make yourself at home.”

I strolled back to my room and changed back into the jeans and shirt I had been wearing to school. I knew both were crumpled and wrinkled from having been thrown on the floor, but there was nothing to be done about that, and they were still enough that they’d make Alex act normally around me again. I also tried to tame my hair a bit, running my hands through my hair a few times. I didn’t think it really helped all that much, but at least I looked somewhat presentable now.

When I went back into the living room, I fond Alex sitting down at my couch, sifting through my CDs. He was completely absorbed in the disks and didn’t notice me showing up and sitting beside him until I grasped his shoulder in my hand. Alex jumped with a start and looked in my direction, then relaxed when he realized it was just me. Alex started babbling a mile a minute once he got himself back onto the couch.

“Oh! Hey Devin, I didn’t hear you come in. I didn’t know you liked Theory of a Deadman, me too!”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I love them , I almost got a chance to see them live a few years ago.” I trailed off, not really wanting to think about when mom passed away.

“So,” I began. “What brings you here tonight? Coming to make sure that I’m not a total wreck of a person yet?”

“Mostly. But I was also told to bring you your work for the day, and I wanted to apologize for what happened at lunch today.”

I was feeling a bit agitated that Alex brought up lunch time so early in his visit, but if he wants to got here then I guess I can just barrel through and deal with it.

“Look, Alex. I know I was a bit of a prick today, but I’m really stressed and I don’t even know what I want right now. My life has gone completely to hell over the last week, and I feel like I’m losing my mind here. Then you came and kissed me and just made everything worse because I’m supposed to be straight and not like tat sort of thing, so if you don’t mind, I don’t really want to deal with it right now, and hopefully not ever.”

At the end of the rant I was red-faced and screaming, which I thought would have scared Alex away and left me in peace for the night. Instead, all that happened was that Alex readjusted himself on my couch and looked at me with lust in his eyes. I was confused, and that confusion must have shown on my face because Alex started giggling at me.

“You liked it? You really liked it when I kissed you?” He asked between giggles.

I blushed and stammered out a reply “What!? No! I mean yes! I mean… I don’t know if I did or even if I’m supposed to like it. This is so damn confusing!”

When Alex spoke next, I could tell that he was completely serious, and that I should listen to what he had to say. I didn’t know for sure what he was going to say, and I think that was the weirdest part.

“All you ever had was one person abusing you. You’ve never even see what it could be really like. Let me show you.”

With that, Alex took his shirt off and looked expectantly back at me. I looked down at his naked chest. He was very skinny, with almost no definition in his chest. His skin was pale and untanned, with a faint dusting of brownish hair on his pecs and leading down to what lay beneath his pants. Alex was looking at me with this glazed look in his eyes. He gazed at me with an obvious sense of longing, as though nothing would please him more than to make me feel as good as Sean forced me to make him feel.

This was all so new to me; not just sex in general, but especially this whole idea of being the top and the one who gets to have the fun instead of just servicing the other person. That was the important thing for me, that Alex actually wanted it to be more equal and to be a fair partner instead of just taking what he wanted from me. I looked down at him and reached out to touch his bare chest. My fingers reached out and grazed the skin of his chest. The skin was incredibly smooth, almost like touching silk or satin sheets.

Alex moaned when my fingers slid over his nipples. I let my hand trickle over his chest, occasionally going back to squeeze and play with the tender nubs of his chest. Alex moaned again and grabbed my by the wrist, pulling my hand more insistently over his nipples and pressing my gingers into them. I guess he wanted me to squeeze and pinch them, which wasn’t even something I thought a dude would like. I gave it a try and gently clasped the fingers of my right hand over his left nub and squeezed gently. He responded right away like he’d been shocked.

I leaned over him to help unbuckle his jeans. As I leaned over him, he leaned his head up and nuzzed against my crotch. I moaned in surprised and pleasure as he brushed his lips against the outline of my dick in my jeans. I closed my eyes and palmed Alex’s crotch with one hand, while my other hand went back towards his nipples. I pinched and squeezed his nipples tightly and twisted them in my fingers, just like how Sean had twisted and tortured my own body just a few days ago.

I didn’t want to admit it right now, but it was really hot to be taking Sean’s place in the sexual activity. Not just the fact that something other than my hand was going to be making me feel good, but also the fact that I could probably get Alex to do anything, and he’d probably do it just because I was the one that told him to do it. I wonder if this is what Sean felt when he used me, this overwhelming sense of power over another person.

I pulled Alex up by the loops of his jeans, and then I pulled down on his jeans, revealing the tight, white briefs he was wearing, and the unmistakable bulge of a hard cock straining against a cotton prison. Now that I was starting to take a bit more control of the situation, I wanted to enjoy the look in his eyes. He actually looked a bit surprised at what I had done, like he wasn’t expecting me to be so direct with him. I liked that I was still able to surprise him, and so I went ahead and started doing a few more things that might have shocked him.

Standing up in front of him, I pushed down on his shoulders and pushed him to his knees. His face was now level with my cock, which was still fully clothed and hidden behind my jeans and boxers. I stared down at him, and he looked up at me with his eyes wide and uncertain as to what I was going to do, which was exactly what I had in mind for right now. I decided to be just like Sean to see what it’s like, and I said just one thing to Alex.

“Open up and suck.”

A look of realization and happiness graced Alex’s features as he reached up to the belt of my jeans. He undid the belt and pulled my jeans down, leaving just my boxers to try and hide my dick from him. I thought that Alex would take my boxers down too, but instead he stuck my dick through the hole in my boxers and started licking along the shaft of my cock through the hole. It felt amazing to have something other than my hand touching my cock. His tongue was really wet and surprisingly firm, so it didn’t feel like anything I had ever felt before. I closed my eyes for just a moment to enjoy the sensation of him licking me when I felt him stop. I was about to ask what happened when he plunged his mouth on my cock and sucked down more than half my cock at once.

I cried out, not knowing what else to do in the face of so many different sensations hitting me at once. I instinctively bucked my hips forward and tried to shove the rest of my cock down his throat, and I could hear him choking and gagging on my cock as I tried to push it past his mouth and down his throat. The warm, wet feeling of the inside of his mouth felt beyond amazing, I couldn’t even begin to describe how it felt to have someone sucking my cock and I knew that I would never, ever want it to end.

First though, I needed to get control of myself before I shot my load too quickly and couldn’t enjoy this anymore. I grabbed some of Alex’s hair and pulled out of his mouth until only the head remained inside. I then let go of him and let him suck me off, but only as long as he didn’t try to deepthroat me again.

I got a sudden urge to look down at him while he sucked me off, and the view was amazing. He had this big smile on his face as he was sucking me off, and it was so hot to watch my cock slide in and out of his mouth without even having to do anything. What was really cool was that he had grabbed onto his own cock with his left hand, and he was jacking off while he sucked my dick. He must really like doing this sort of thing if he’s jacking off while he does it. His cock was pretty normal for a fourteen year old, he looked like he was smaller than me, which was a relief since I didn’t know what would happen after this, but I figured it would probably involve me playing with him too and I didn’t want it to be too big for me.

Alex pulled off my cock and dove down into my balls, quickly sucking one, then the other cock into his mouth and sucking on them in turn. I didn’t like this as much, so I pulled back and covered my balls with my hand until he got the message and went back to sucking my cock. This time I took a bit more control and held the back of his head as he sucked me off, encouraging him to take a little bit more and to go a little bit faster each time he pulled back on my cock with his tongue.

I was getting really close now, and I could feel the cum bubbling up in my balls, getting ready to fire all over the place.

“Alex, I’m close to cumming!”

He didn’t respond. He just pulled off my cock and started wildly jerking my cock off in front of him. I started panting heavily, and when I came I moaned really loudly and felt my knees. Alex opened his mouth and closed his eyes, and simply let me shoot my cum all over his face. I shot five good spurts of cum onto his face and hair. Some of it got in his mouth, on his nose and all over both his cheeks.

Alex swallowed what he had in his mouth, then went back to jerking himself off. I left for the bathroom to grab him some tissues to clean up with, and when I returned he was laying on the floor of my living room, jerking his cock and moaning like I hadn’t ever heard him or anyone else moan before.

“Wow Alex, you’re really moaning a lot, you liked that eh?” I said cheekily, remembering that he said the same thing a few minutes ago that got this whole thing started. “You better cum, it’s getting late and you’re already covered in a load, may as well finish the job.”

Alex’s cock spasmed in his hand and he shot three big drops of cum onto his chest. I gave him a few seconds to recover, and then threw the towel onto him so he could get cleaned up. Once he was almost presentable we both looked at each other awkwardly and got dressed again. It was only now that I noticed that Alex didn’t actually bring anything with him.

“Alex, where’s my stuff? I thought you said you brought me my work?”

“There wasn’t any work today Devin, you just had PE left before you came home, remember? I just wanted to come over.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, and before I could do anything to stop him, Alex waved goodbye and walked out the door. I knew I’d see him tomorrow and that we would be talking about this, and to hell with what I said about not wanting to talk about how I feel about things right now.

Waking up in the morning, I didn’t feel too different from how I felt the night before. I wasn’t going to school today, but I was hungry so I went downstairs to have some breakfast with my dad before he went to work. I normally wouldn’t have bothered, since he was probably watching the news or something stupid like that, and I was usually too busy showering and doing everything else I needed to do to get ready for school, so we didn’t see each other too often before work and school. But today I felt like I just wanted to check in with him and see how he was doing and have him ask about me, just so I could have a little bit of normalcy in my life right now. When I got to the living room I saw dad was just having some peanut butter on toast for breakfast. That’s nice and all, but I’m still growing I think, so I want a bit more than that, even if that’s a pretty healthy part of a breakfast. I went to the kitchen and threw a couple pieces of bread into the toaster, and then went to pour some cereal for myself. Once everything was ready I went to go sit down with dad in the living room and see what happened.

Dad looked at me with concern all over his face. He knew by now that I hadn’t been able to finish my day at school, and I’m sure that the school phoned him while I slept to explain exactly what was going on. I wasn’t too sure what he’d do about it though, dad was always surprising and sometimes he overreacted to things. Sometimes he didn’t react at all to things, it was too hard to tell with him.

“I heard from the school yesterday. They say you didn’t go to gym class because you weren’t feeling well, and that you weren’t handling the news about Sean very well. Anything you want to tell me son? You know I’m always here for you.”

There he goes, this time he’s decided to try and be Superdad and try to fix the world for me. There’s nothing he can do, and I am not ready to tell him what’s really going on. I want to take all of that to my grave if I can get away with that.

“I’m just feeling stressed out dad, I didn’t expect to go to school and find out Sean’s dead, and we’ve been teammates forever. It’s hard for me right now, and I’m just not feeling well. I’m sure it’s nothing, but I don’t want to make it worse by going in to school today.”

“Okay. Go get some rest, I’m sure something can be arranged to have your homework brought to you, maybe Alex can do it or something.”

That could be interesting. I was sort of curious to see what he’d say about last night, or if that was just something he wanted to do once and then never speak of again. I wasn’t sure what I felt about it yet, but I didn’t want to just have it be forgotten; he was my friend and I wanted to at least try and talk it out with him to see where we all stand and everything. I don’t want things to be awkward between him and I, and of course that’s exactly how it could be if I didn’t get a chance to talk to him about the fact that we had sex in my house last night.

Our friendship has definitely changed, since I used to always just see him as this little brother kind of thing that hung out with me, even though we have almost nothing in common. I mean, he’s smart and all, and he seems to like helping me figure out how to fix my shit about people when I don’t get why people do the things they do, but there wasn’t really much that drew me to him before other than the fact that he was willing to do that for me. Now there’s this whole thing that we did last night and it’s super complicated now, and I can’t even ask him for advice because it’s about him this time!

I finished eating my breakfast and changed back into the boxer shorts I wore to bed last night. I decided that if I was going to take a sick day from school, I should take advantage of it and sleep in for a few extra hours. Besides, I really did feel a bit sick, and if I went to bed then at least I wouldn’t have to keep thinking about Sean and Alex and Annabelle and Parker and going back to school, and what will happen once I go back and everyone’s had all this time to hear the gossip that absolutely has to be flying around the school by now. I threw myself under the covers and went back to sleep.

************************************************************************

It was after school when I woke up again, and I was starving from missing lunch and not having as big a breakfast as I would have liked to have. I knew no one was home so I didn’t bother changing into anything, I just walked back to the kitchen in my boxers and made myself some leftovers from last night. Today that meant some spaghetti because it’s cheap and easy, and at least it’ll be filling enough to keep me going until tonight’s dinner, whatever that would end up being.

The doorbell rang, and I briefly considered going to get dressed before opening the door, but I figured that anyone stupid enough to bother me would simply have to deal with my state of near nudity. When I got to the door and opened it, I wasn’t really surprised that it was Alex, or that he was having trouble keeping his balance while carrying both his and my school stuff for the day. I let Alex in and had him sit down in the living room again so that he could separate his stuff from mine and give me a chance to see what I’d missed.

“So, what’s going on at school? Has everyone become convinced that I’m a fucking psychopath who killed Sean for no good reason yet, or do I still have a chance at being able to go to school without having to fear for my life every time I’m away from Barrett?”

Alex took a few seconds to think about what he was going to say, which couldn’t be a good sign for me if he wasn’t able to just tell me what was going on.

“Most people at the school are being told by Parker that you had to have done it, but because no one’s actually got any proof, they’re sort of just hearing it and not really doing anything about it. Parker’s little group of morons are convinced you did it though, so they’re going to make your life miserable for sure, and of course Annabelle has been screaming to everyone who’ll notice her that she’s going to make you pay for killing Sean. But beyond that people don’t seem to take seriously the idea that you killed someone, that’s not really something people even think you’re capable of.”

“Well, that’s something” I replied. “At least most people are going to give me a chance to be normal and I won’t have to get shipped out in witness protection or some damn thing like that. Did the teachers say much about the homework I’ve got?”

“Nothing too much, just a few handouts and readings. Same as there always is here, not that I have to tell you that.” Alex giggled at that, like he’d said something really funny.

So far so good, he’s still acting normal for him, and he’s not getting clingy or anything. That must mean he’s okay with what happened and we’re not going to have to worry too much about making sure we don’t get screwed up around each other, but I should probably make sure, just in case.

“Alex, about yesterday… What exactly happened last night? Why did you do that, or I guess why did we do that is the right question.”

“I wanted to Devin. Don’t you get it? I like you, I thought that if I showed you then you’d maybe feel the same way about me.”

“You… you like me? Like, you like me and want to date or something? You know I can’t do that. I haven’t told anyone. I don’t even believe it myself yet. Look, Alex. You’re nice to me. I know that much. I can’t do a boyfriend right now. Why can’t you understand that and just let things be?”

Alex looked upset, but I’ve learned by now that he simply doesn’t let things go until he gets whatever point he’s trying to make get through to me, so I simply sat down and waited for him to say whatever he was going to say.

“You really don’t get it do you? This isn’t just some new thing for me to want you. You may have only just realized you’re gay, but I didn’t. I didn’t just wake up yesterday and decide that I wanted to fuck you. If you hadn’t been so busy over the last few years desperately trying to get a girl to like you when you don’t even like girls yourself, you might have noticed me… You might have done what we did last night before now and made both our lives so much better. I’ve waited a long time, I can wait longer if you’re not ready to be out, but I want you, and I think you want me too.”

I was shocked. I had no idea that he had been feeling that way about me for this long, and I felt really bad that I had been secretly leading him on and hurting him by even talking to him about my love life. I wasn’t sure what to say, but I think that talking at this point wouldn’t have done any good. So I decided to act instead.

I walked over to Alex and kissed him hard on the lips. Alex gasped and I took the chance to slip my tongue into his mouth and explore how he felt and tasted inside his mouth. Just like last time, I grabbed Alex by the loops of his jeans and pulled them down. But instead of pushing him down to give me a blowjob, I pushed him back into my couch so he was sitting back in them, and this time I leaned down over him and slowly started to suck his dick.

Alex tasted different. Like me, he was circumsized, but he tasted really different from how Sean did. Alex was less salty tasting, but maybe that was just because he hadn’t been sweating all day like Sean always did because of sports. I could feel him getting hard in my mouth, and I was right that he was not as big as I was. I pulled off of him for a second as my curiosity got the best of me.

“How big are you?” I asked, not really knowing if that’s even something you’re supposed to ask another guy when you’re sucking him off.

“Ummm, about five and a half inches I guess, I don’t really do the whole measuring thing.” He blushed when he said that, so I guess he was embarrassed about not knowing or for being small, not too sure.

I shrugged and went back to sucking on his dick. I was running my tongue over the head of his cock when I heard him moan out my name. That was so hot, so I slid his cock as far down my throat as I could go. Thankfully, I had some experience thanks to Sean throat fucking me, so I could take all of Alex. Alex shuddered and his knees went weak. Then all I could do is swallow as he shot his load down my throat.

I got up to sit down next to him on the couch, not sure what to do or say, so I just blurted out the first thing I could think of.

”Does that tell you how I feel Alex?”

“Why did you just do that Devin? I thought you weren’t sure about what you wanted and who you were into?”

“I think I just figured it out” I replied cheekily. “You’ve always been nice to me, and I guess I never really put together why that would be. Besides, I thought I was straight, so this wasn’t really something I was even considering. At least not until now that the last week and everything else happened.”

“Do you still like girls then, or what’s your whole deal Devin? Are we going to be for real, or is this until you find a girlfriend to be with and I get relegated to friend status again, just like all the other girls you’ve wanted before now.”

I had never heard that kind of bitterness in Alex’s voice before. It was like he was blaming me for never noticing him before or something, even though he knew that I thought I was straight all this time. Maybe he really did. After all, I did spend a lot of time in the past talking about girls with him…

“Why didn’t you ever say anything Alex? If this has been bugging you for this long when I talked about girls and ignoring you, why didn’t you just say so?”

“Because. Because you wouldn’t have understood” he said, his voice breaking. “Because you were so ‘straight’. Because boys like me don’t get to end up with boys like you. Not in real life anyways.”

I couldn’t figure out what Alex was talking about. What on earth did he mean, does he not think that I’m actually serious or something?

I’m here and interested now aren’t I? Just because it’s taking me longer to figure things out than it took you doesn’t mean that I’m going to change my mind again. I’m here now Alex, and I don’t know how any of this works or what happens next because I’ve never dated a guy before, but I want to find out. I just don’t want to whole world knowing about it. Not yet anyway.”

“Because you’re afraid.”

“Yes because I’m afraid! Look at what’s happened to my life once people even began to suspect I was gay. How much worse is it going to get once we confirm it? How much worse are we going to be treated for being the only gays in town? I haven’t even told my dad yet. Doesn’t he get to find out before the whole town knows?”

I was getting upset. Didn’t Alex understand how big a deal this was that I was even entertaining the idea of this and was even thinking about being with a guy? Two weeks ago I wouldn’t have even considered this as possible, and now he wants me to go public to the whole town that I’m not only into guys, but that I suddenly have a boyfriend. Nothing good was going to come from this if we went public, so why was he forcing it so much?

”Alex, I’m not ready to be out yet. Take me or leave me, but that’s how it’s going to be. Don’t force me when I’m not ready.”

“Fine” he huffed. “That’s just fine. I should get going now, it’s getting late. Are you planning on coming back to school tomorrow?”

”Have to. If I don’t go to practice I won’t be allowed to play on the weekend.”

“Fine. See you tomorrow then.” As we had been talking, Alex had been dressing himself. Alex grabbed the last of his stuff and walked out the door.

I laid down on the couch, thinking about what all this means. Never in a million years did I ever expect that I’d be dating a boy, or that it would be Alex. In a way though, it sort of explained why I was so into Sean as well. It wasn’t just that I wanted to have muscles like Sean, it was that I wanted to be with Sean. He didn’t want me though, he just wanted to cum, and he didn’t care how as long as he got what he wanted out of the deal. I didn’t think Alex was like that. He hadn’t ever really done anything to make me think he was being selfish or doing this for himself… except for this need for me to tell everyone we’re a thing. Of course, Sean started that way too and look what it got me.

My stomach growled at me and I went to go check the time. It was already after seven. Dad would be home soon, so I got dressed and went to make dinner so that I could try to relax for the rest of the evening.

************************************************************************

I woke up the next morning in a dishevelled, groggy state, and flailed around until I hit my alarm clock. 7am. I didn’t sleep nearly as well as I wanted to, and on top of that I forgot to pack my sports back for practice today. After quickly showering and packing for school, I went through my room to grab everything I’d need for practice; glove, bat, helmet, cleats, jockstrap and cup. I did a final check to make sure I got everything, then sprinted to the bus stop.

I had to sit up front today with the rest of the team because we all had our extra bags and would otherwise be in everyone else’s way. There was an open seat next to Russell, the coach’s son, so I sat there with him. Russell doesn’t normally say very much, so I was hoping that he’d stay off my case for the trip, even though I’m sure he’d want to ask about Sean.

Thankfully, he seemed way too involved with his music to notice me or anything around him, so I was able to spend the short trip mostly collecting my thoughts and figuring out how to get through the day without being bothered by everyone.

School dragged on more than usual today, even for a Thursday. I spent most of the day hearing whispered conversations and rumours around me and what actually happened with Sean, but I found I just couldn’t get interested about it today. Partly it was because I knew I didn’t do anything wrong, but also because I wasn’t really thinking about that and was thinking a lot more about what to do with Alex and the baseball team instead. I knew that this was going to become an issue with them sooner than later, especially if Alex started showing up to games, so I wanted to see what I could do without getting my ass kicked, or worse. Especially since Parker was on the team and he’s already made it pretty clear that he’s going to make my life a living hell.

Because Sean had died, we needed a new catcher for the team, and I was surprised to see that it was going to be Russell. He, myself and the rest of the pitching staff spent most of the practice just warming up on the side so that he could get used to how we pitch and what kind of pitches we threw. So for me it was a nice, lighter practice. Every once in a while during the practice I would watch the rest of the team, and I’d always see Parker talking to someone and glancing over at me. I didn’t know what this was about, but it probably wasn’t anything good either.

Once practice was over I went back to the locker room to shower and change like the rest of the team. Everyone already had their bags with their stuff in the locker, and we all just left our baseball bags out on the bench so we could collect them once we were finished. Nothing too unusual, since it was a weekday practice and most of our parents would be coming to pick us up after, so it wasn’t like we were worried about anyone stealing our stuff while we cleaned up.

I had just gotten my towel and stuff from my bag when Parker and a couple of the other guys from the team walked over to me and started getting in my face. I didn’t do anything right away, just turned around to face them and see what they were getting on about.

“What’s the deal guys, you got something to say to me or something?”

Parker stepped forward out from the group that had started to surround me around my locker. I noticed that most of the rest of the team had already gone home, and coach never came into the locker room with us, didn’t want to have any allegations like what’s happened to other coaches, like on the news. In other words, this was not a good place for me to be right now.

“Listen here fag, something was going on between you and Sean. We all know it, and we’re gonna beat your ass until you say what it is. That’s why he’s dead, because you killed him over whatever this is and we’re going to make you pay.”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about Parker, and you can keep your damn accusations to yourself for once. There wasn’t anything going on with me and Sean, and I didn’t kill him. So how bout you fuck off out of the way and let me take my shower so I can leave.

I didn’t even see it coming, but the next thing I felt was a pain in the side of my head where Parker had punched me. I fell down and Parker jumped on me, punching me wherever he could land a blow. I tried to defend myself, and I watched as the boys all ran away while Parker beat me.

My vision was starting to become blurry and darker. I could hear voices screaming, and the last thing I saw was Parker punching me in the nose before I blacked out.

I woke up sometime later with a splitting headache, and I didn’t know where I was. The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I was laying down, facing up at a very harsh, bright light, and that I was in a lot of pain. Dad was there, looking over me from my left side, and a couple of people I didn’t know were on my right. When I looked down at myself, I could see that I wasn’t wearing any clothes, and that I had been changed into a hospital gown, so I guess that means I was in the hospital. The last thing I remember was going in to change after practice, and then some of the guys came to talk to me, including Parker. He must have really done a number on me if I didn’t remember anything and woke up here.

I looked around a bit more, but there wasn’t really anything all that interesting about the hospital room. I could see there were a couple other people in beds across and beside me, so I had to guess I was in one of the recovery rooms, and that there wasn’t anything too bad going on with me. The adults finally noticed that I had come to, and they started talking to me all at once, so it was hard for me to try and figure out what they were saying.

“Whoa, guys, one at a time. What’s going on? Where am I, and what exactly happened to me?”

The main doctor came forward and started to talk to me, explaining the situation.

“Hello Devin, my name’s Doctor Warner. I’m the doctor that’s been taking care of you for the last couple days.”

“Couple days? I’ve been unconscious for a couple of days? That’s crazy, what are you talking about man?” I exclaimed, alarmed at the thought that I’ve been unconscious all this long and don’t’ remember any of it.

“Devin, calm down. Let the doctor explain what happened before you get yourself too agitated that’s the last thing you need right now” dad said. “Things are a little unclear about what happened, and right now the priority is to make sure that you’re feeling better. Everything else can come after that, okay? So just let the doctor explain things, and you can hopefully fill in some of the missing pieces.”

If only he knew, I didn’t really have anything to share because I didn’t really know what had happened either. I mean, I could probably guess that Parker beat me up and left me there, but then that wouldn’t explain how I was found, and it wouldn’t be something I could prove either. It’d just be my word against his, and the boys would probably back him up since I did remember there was a crowd of them who came to see me at the end of the practice. So I wouldn’t even be believed if I said I was attacked, and I didn’t even know for sure that I was attacked.

Doctor Warner started to speak again, and this time I settled down long enough to actually hear what was going on and how I was doing. That was probably the best thing for me right now, just to try and relax and get better, since it looked like I was pretty messed up.

“Well Devin, you had a bit of a nasty concussion from your fall, you got hit on the head when you tripped on something while you were at your baseball practice. You were found in the locker room, so there must have been something there you slipped on. Your nose isn’t broken, but there’s going to be a bit of tenderness for the next few days. You got lucky buddy, it could have been a lot worse if your teammates hadn’t gone to get help for you when they did.”

He doesn’t know how much worse it could have been, but of course it could have been worse. It could have been more than just Parker attacking me, it could have been all of them, and now they were going to be treated like they were really awesome people for telling folks where to find me after attacking me. This was fucking messed up.

“We’ll need to keep you here for another day or two for observation, just to make sure everything’s okay” the doctor continued on. “We don’t think there’s going to be any problems, but better safe than sorry, and it’s a long way back to Lind from here, and we’d rather you not have to keep coming back and forth, obviously.”

“Doctor, just a quick question. Where is here? I don’t really remember that much before the fall, and obviously I’ve missed out on a few things if I’ve been out for a couple days like you said. Where am I, and has there been anything else reported about what happened to me?” I was concerned about the fact that I still didn’t know too much about the situation, and I was hoping that the doctor would fill me in.

Instead, dad took the question and answered for everyone.

“Son, you’re in Spokane. We had to take you here because it was the closest place with the facilities needed to take care of you. I know the doctor said it was just a concussion, but you know the clinic in town wasn’t going to be able to help you, and we didn’t know how bad you were when the coach found you.”

“Does anyone know that I’m here? I mean I guess the team knows because I wasn’t at the game, but does anyone from school or town know that I’m gone?”

“You know how small town is Devin, of course everyone knows. Before you ask, the team did fine yesterday, but we need to talk since there’s rumours flying all over the place and I want you to set them straight. What do you know about Sean’s death?”

“I don’t know anything about it Dad. I know that he was fine when I saw him earlier that day, but I didn’t have any reason to think that there was a problem or anything. I haven’t even heard what happened to him yet, just that he was dead. Remember, I’ve been at home sick for the last couple days, and then I got knocked out as soon as I got back to school? I haven’t had a lot of time on my hands to figure out what actually happened to Sean, or to anyone else for that matter.”

“Alright son, take it easy. No one’s accusing you of anything.”

“But that’s exactly what’s going on, isn’t it dad? It seems everyone knows that I saw Sean the day he died, and that I was one of the last people to see him. Parker certainly knows that, and I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t tell everyone just to make me look bad and make it look like I might have been involved somehow.”

“I just want to help you son, you’ve been acting really weird the last couple of weeks, and I just wanted to see if there was something I could do to help. I’ll drop it, there’s no point in me trying to help when you’re like this.”

With that, dad left the room and let me recover. I spent the next couple of days in the hospital, which got old really quick when it was only dad around to visit and keep me company, and even then it was only during the evening visiting hours because he had to stay close to town for work. Finally, Monday night the doctors allowed me to leave with my dad and we ended up at home, completely exhausted from the weekend spent in Spokane and the need to get ready for school and work tomorrow.

The doctors had let me go, but I was still feeling a bit out of it, so dad suggested I take another day off of school just to be sure that I was going to be alright for the rest of the week. That was fine by me, I still wasn’t really in any shape to go see the rest of the school and community, and I didn’t want to deal with Parker’s shit either. I also figured that Alex would be coming by at some point to drop off my stuff, and perhaps a bit more.

I woke up on Tuesday at around noon with a splitting headache, which I guess was part of the aftermath of the concussion. I went to the kitchen and had a couple of aspirin to try and make things better, and went back to my room to turn on my computer. I hadn’t had much privacy over the last few days, and I was feeling like I needed to do something to relax myself.

I turned on my laptop and loaded up some of the old porn that I had on my computer. All my old porn was straight stuff, beautiful girls having sex with big dicked straight guys, and I thought watching some would relax me a bit. I put one on that always used to get me going; it was of a blonde college girl having a threesome with her roommate and a football player.

I reached into my underwear and started to idly play around with my soft cock while watching what was on my laptop screen. For whatever reason, watching the two girls play with the guy wasn’t getting me going the way it normally would. I was getting frustrated and pissed off about not getting off to my usual kind of porn when I started to think about the last two weeks. On a whim, I thought that maybe what I really wanted to watch was more of what I’d been doing over the last couple weeks, so I did a quick search for some guy on guy porn.

I found something that might work a bit better, it was of two younger guys sucking each other and taking turns dominating one another. As soon as I started watching the taller guy grab the smaller one’s head and push him down to his knees, I got rock hard and started leaking precum in my underwear.

I pulled down my briefs and started rubbing myself in time to the top guy’s thrusts into the bottom’s mouth. The bottom was choking pretty hard on the big, thick dick going into his throat, and I started moaning along with them both. The guy on screen was getting close, and so was I. I started panting and jerking myself off really roughly, eager to cum when the top pulled out and started to cum over the cocksucker’s face, I lost it and shot my load all over myself. I could feel the cum spurting through my cock and onto my chest and abs.

I was red-faced and breathing heavily, completely drained from such an intense orgasm. What was weird for me was that when I was watching the porn, I wasn’t sure who I was fantasizing as, either as the guy taking control or as the one getting his face fucked by the other guy. I’d done a bit of both over the last couple weeks, so now that I was with Alex I should find out which part of that whole role I really did like, and I think that next time I see him that’s what I should do.

I went to go have a quick shower and cleaned myself up after making such a thorough mess of myself, and then went to go make myself a late lunch. I knew that in a few hours Alex would be coming by to check in on me and bring me my stuff, so I started to plan what I would do when he got here.

Waiting around for Alex to show up was starting to drive me crazy. I know that he had school and that I should probably be getting back to school soon as well, but I couldn’t help but think that he should just skip out and bring me my stuff already. I guess that if he skipped out then he couldn’t bring me anything though, so that wouldn’t really work would it?

I thought about doing something, but I looked at the clock and it was already 2:30, so it wouldn’t be too much longer before I figured he’d be arriving, and there wasn’t much that I wanted to do that I could do in an hour anyway. I figured the best thing to do was to go and watch some television and get myself cleaned up, especially if I was going to be having some fun.

I walked into my bathroom and started turning the water to the temperature I wanted. I loved having really hot showers so I could feel everything relaxing my muscles and really feeling the burn from the hot water on my skin. Something about that was really relaxing and made me feel better, no matter what was wrong with me. Right now, I felt really worried about what was going to happen at school and how things would be for me once I got back, so I hoped that a really hot shower would try and take my mind off things and help relax me for a little while at least.

As the hot water started to drain down my back and over my face, I started to massage my body with the bar of soap that was left in the shower from last night. I started by running my hands across my chest and feeling around for the muscles I hoped were forming on my chest. I wasn’t to surprised to see that I was still mostly a skinny guy, but that there were some muscles forming on my chest and abs. I was hoping to keep and build on those, but if I didn’t get back into my sports routine soon I was going to lose out and end up being skinny and without muscles like Alex.

Moving to clean off my back was a bit more of a challenge because of how lanky my arms were, so I had to do a bit of stretching and contorting to properly clean all of my back. There were some strong feeling muscles in my shoulders as well from all of the pitching I’d been doing over the last few years, and it was nice to see they were still going strong. My arms were probably the most muscular part of my body, but even there they weren’t big muscles, just very toned and strong without looking obscenely big on my otherwise skinny body.

My legs were also pretty skinny and toned, even though I had to do a lot of running for baseball and between classes everyday. I washed up my legs and then took care to watch my junk and ass. Washing my dick was pretty easy, and I gave it a few tugs to get it hard just for fun and to get myself ready for later on. As for my ass… I never used to think about it, I’d wash it and just take care of it, but never really thought of it as anything special until recently. Just for a laugh, I grabbed onto my ass cheeks and gave them a squeeze. I didn’t have a big butt like lots of the girls in school, and I’d heard a few people joke around that they couldn’t see my ass even when I bent over. Now that I was giving them a feel, I could tell they were right and that I didn’t have much of an ass, even if it did feel kinda muscular from all my running around that I do.

Once I finished washing myself I just let the water run down my body, enjoying the feel of the water droplets hitting my neck and back and acting like a sort of massage for me. After letting the water run until it started to get cold, I shut off the water and started to dry off and change back into my clothes for the rest of the day. It was just becoming 3:00 when I finished and got back onto the couch, so I didn’t think I’d have to wait too much longer before Alex came to drop my stuff off.

I sat back down on the couch and waited for him to arrive, knowing it wouldn’t be too much longer until he was here and we could get down to the business I had planned for him.

This time I knew he was coming, so I was able to listen for him and heard him coming, so when he got to the door I just opened it for him before he had a chance to knock on it. As I suspected, he came over direct from school, except this time he actually did have a big pile of things for me to do… looks like I was going to have a late night tonight, that’s for sure. Makes sense to me though, I’ve been away from school so much lately its only natural that all that work has been waiting for me and now it has to be done.

Alex barely even acknowledged me before throwing my books and stuff onto my couch in an untidy heap. He looked up at me and I could tell that he was tired and hadn’t been sleeping. His eyes were bloodshot and he had dark circles under his eyes. More than that though, he looked like he had been crying a lot over the last couple days, there were streaks on his face where I could see the tears had been falling, and I wanted to know what was going on that was making him that upset.

“Alex, what’s going on? You show up here and don’t even say hello to me, and you look like you’ve gone through hell. Is something happening around here that I don’t know about?”

Alex looked back up at me and slowly started to take off his shirt. It was at this point that I realized that he was covered in bruises where no one could see them. His whole chest and back were covered with bruises of all different sizes, and some of them looked quite swollen. Others looked brand new, as though he got them sometime today.

“I’ve had a few altercations with Annabelle. She still thinks you killed Sean, and when I told her off she went a bit off the rails.” Alex looked down at himself and winced a bit. I noticed that even though he didn’t have a big pile of books and things to carry, he was still wincing and limping when he walked. “I guess I didn’t realize how much she had gotten me, she’s a total psycho when she wants to be, you know that Devin?”

I didn’t reply right away, instead I walked over to him and gently placed my hands on some of the bruises. Holding onto him, I guided him back to my couch and had him sit down without causing him any more pain than he’s already had to deal with from being attacked.

“How many times has this happened?” I asked. “Some of these look really recent, tell me what’s going on Alex.”

“It started on the weekend, while you were gone.” I guess that means he didn’t know that I was in Spokane hospital, but I wasn’t sure when or how to let him know about that particular adventure.

Alex continued “Right after school on Friday I heard Annabelle ranting again to Parker about how you were the one that killed Sean, and that it was obviously because you two were closer than friends. I’m not sure why she would know that though, you only ever told me and I couldn’t believe that Sean would tell someone, so I told her she was full of crap and to keep her deranged views to herself for once.”

Alex looked down at some of the bruises on his chest again and idly fingered one of them.

“She didn’t take too well to that, so she came running at me and started pushing and punching me just there at the doors of the school. I didn’t know what to do so I just tried to protect myself as best I could, but like I said, that girl is one scary chick once you get her riled up, I can’t believe she isn’t locked away somewhere.”

“Okay, so she was attacking you, then what happened?”

Alex just shrugged at me and carried on with the story. “Once I got her off of me she pulled out a phone and showed me and everyone else in the area the pictures on the phone. I guess it was Sean’s phone, because there were pictures of you sucking his cock and getting fucked by you. Now you know whether anyone else has seen those pics Devin, they’re all over the school by now.”

Shit. Oh shit. Everyone knows. That means that what I got from Parker the other day was going to get so much worse, and there’s nothing I can do about it because they’ve all got or seen the proof that I was there. Jesus, how am I going to tell dad all about this mess?

Alex could see that I was going to pieces about that pieces of news, so he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug.

“Devin, that’s actually part of why I got beaten up today. Everyone was talking about those pictures at school today and I told Parker to fuck off, that those pictures were blackmail and to get out of your business. Everyone figured out pretty quickly that we’re dating because I’m the only one in the school to publicly support you, and Parker thought if he beat me up it’d be almost the same as beating you up.”

“I’m so sorry Alex…”

“It’s fine, I knew it would be like this once I got a boyfriend. We have each other, and we’ll find a way to make this all work out. First thing you should do though is tell your dad, he deserves the right to hear all this from you instead of through the tow gossip mill, and you know it’s only a matter of time until that happens.”

He was right, of course, everyone was going to tell my dad and probably show him the pictures soon enough, and I wanted to have him be on my side instead of believing whatever bullshit the dumbasses in this town were going to lie and say about me. Right now though, all I wanted to do was get close to Alex and try to make him feel better, as we both needed something to get over the fact that we’d been pretty badly hurt over the last few days.

I pulled Alex over to me and took his hand, then led him back into my room. His clothes were left forgotten in my living room, and I started to take off my own clothes and the rest of his clothes. Soon enough, we were both naked and I could see the extent of his injuries. All along his legs and back were covered with more bruises, and I could see that he was going to be feeling a lot of soreness for the next little while.

I placed Alex on his side and lay down on the bed with him, and I nuzzled into the part of his neck that was exposed and didn’t look like it was too sore or covered in bruises. It hurt a bit, brushing my nose against his body hurt and I still hadn’t totally healed from my own encounter with Parker, but it felt right to be trying to comfort Alex right now. I let my hands wander across his body, trying to find the places that hurt and didn’t hurt so I knew how to make him feel okay.

Alex was responding to what I was doing as well, he was starting to get hard and more alive, and he turned to face me so that he could rub along my shoulders and back with his free hand. While we were exploring each other, our hard cocks kept brushing up against each other. I pulled him close and started thrusting myself into the groove between his legs and his crotch. It felt really good, I was groaning from the feel of sliding my hard cock between his legs and grazing his cock as I pushed by it.

Alex was going crazy, he was pulling on my back and pulling me in closer every time I thrust inward. I’m not sure what came over me, but I had a crazy urge to kiss Alex, and I didn’t even think. I grabbed him by the back of the neck and head and pressed my lips to his, while I slowly kept thrusting into the gap formed between Alex’s legs. Alex groaned, and without warning he started shooting his load between us. I couldn’t believe how that felt to kiss Alex and to have his cum shooting onto my leg, and that set me off as well. I started firing my load onto his ass and dick.

We both sort of looked at each other with this glazed look in our eyes, as though we hadn’t really realized what we just did, again. Rather than being worried about it, we both just lay there and enjoyed the moment. We were both naked and quite happy with what was happening in that moment in time.

No one was more surprised than me when I heard the front door opening.

Dad was home, shit! Alex and I started scrambling to put on our clothes, and I saw Alex flush and his eyes went really wide. I was about to ask him what was wrong when I heard a voice call out.

“Devin, where are you? And whose shirt is this on the couch? Do you have someone here?”

That’s not good, dad just found Alex’s shirt, and when he comes to find us both in my room he’s probably going to put a few things together, especially since the room smells like sex, we’re both covered in cum that was now rapidly soaking into our respective clothes, and of course I wasn’t even fully dressed yet either. Not to mention the fact that some of the cum was now staining my sheets. This wasn’t really part of my whole game plan for how I was going to tell my dad I was into dudes, and even I didn’t know how far along that was.

“Alex, stay here, I’m going to go talk to dad, I’ll be back in a bit” I whispered to Alex. I then called out to my dad “I’m in my room, I’ll be out in a minute, I’ll just come talk to you out there.”

As I put the rest of my clothes on and tried to compose myself enough to make it look like I hadn’t just had sex, I needed to try and think about what it is I was going to say to dad about all of this. How was I going to explain that yes, I had someone over, and that it was a BOY? How do you ever actually tell people that you like someone of the same sex without worrying about whether you’re going to get thrown out or something awful happening to you?

I saw dad sitting at the kitchen table, holding onto Alex’s crumpled shirt. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he just motioned for me to sit down across from him.

“Whose is this?” He asked, motioning towards the shirt in his hand.

I stayed silent, not sure how to tell him. I looked down at the ground and tried to avoid his gaze. I could feel dad staring at me, getting more frustrated with the fact that I wasn’t willing to say anything about who it was and what was going on in his own house.

“Let me ask you again Devin, who does this shirt belong to? I could always just go to your room and find out, but then there’d be a lot more explaining to do, as well as embarrassing the hell out of whoever your little friend is here. Tell me what is going on son.”

As dad started to finish his little tirade, I could hear someone coming down from my room, and Alex spoke out instead.

“There’s no need for that, it’s me Mr. Williams.”

As Alex came into view, wearing only the pants he came with and looking absolutely unashamed of the fact that he was caught shirtless in my room, I noticed that he seemed to have cleaned himself up a bit, so that at least he wasn’t covered in cum when he had to be around my dad. I wasn’t sure what exactly he cleaned himself with, but at least we didn’t have to explain that, even though I’m pretty sure dad would have already figured it out anyways.

“I’m the one that was here with Devin, but I’ll let him explain now that the hardest part about this conversation was over.”

Alex turned on his heel and left the room, I assume to go back into my room and give my father and I some privacy to have this very, very awkward conversation that we now had before us.

“Alex and I… I guess we’re dating now dad. I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to know, I didn’t know how you’d react or what you’d say or even how you’d be around the rest of the town knowing that I’m into guys. I didn’t mean for any of this all to happen!”

I looked up and saw dad was just looking at me with this look on his face that I couldn’t quite place. He looked a bit sad, but also like he was trying to make sure that I didn’t realize that he was disappointed by what he’s seen here. I knew it. Of course he would never approve of me being into guys, he wanted me to be his straight son like he thought he had for all these years.

“Get him out of here” Dad said, not looking at me. “I can’t deal with this right now, but we are going to talk later tonight. Get Alex home, and then go to your room and just stay out of my way right now. We have a lot to talk about it seems, and you’re going to start telling me exactly what the hell is going on. I don’t even know my own son anymore.”

He got up, frustrated with everything he came home to, leaving Alex’s shirt on the table in front of me. Once I felt it was safe, I grabbed Alex’s shirt and went back to my room and told Alex he had to leave. I gave him back his shirt and watched him leave, then went into my room to wait for the eventual hard discussion I would have to have with dad once he was ready to deal with it.

I laid down on my bed with my pillow in my face. It shocked me that such a nice afternoon could be ruined so quickly, and the worst part was that we could have avoided it if we had been a bit more careful and just took the time to make sure we didn’t do stupid things. I didn’t have a clue how dad was actually going to react to all of this, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be fun.

I smelled the sheets and of course, they still smelled of everything that Alex and I had done not even an hour ago. The scent of our mixed loads on the bed was intoxicating, and for a moment I even considered jacking off again to add to it and encourage the feelings in my dick. I didn’t, because I figured that was the last thing I should be doing right before dad was getting ready to kick my ass all over the house for bringing in all this gay shit.

A short while later, I heard dad cooking something for dinner, so I knew that my wait was coming to and end at least, since he’d want to eat dinner with me and probably wait until we were eating before he started to deal with me.

I went downstairs and got the table ready for dinner, just a couple of plates and our cutlery, and then sat down on the couch and waited for him to call me back in to eat. Just a few minutes later, dad called me and we both sat down to eat. Today was another batch of pasta, which is normal for us… pasta is cheap, and we need to stretch money a bit these days.

Dad didn’t say anything to me right away, he just started eating and going about his routine, so I started to hope that maybe he had forgotten or decided that it wasn’t worth dealing with. I picked at my food anyways, knowing that I still had to eat it because it was good for me, but not really wanting to let my guard down too much or else I knew dad would take that moment to tell me how much he hated me for being queer.

I was having a bite to eat when dad looked up at me and just sorta watched me, like he was waiting for me to do something or say something that he understood better. Finally, he took control and started talking to me.

“Why didn’t you think you could tell me this?”

I didn’t really understand what he meant, it almost sounded like he was okay with this. I responded immediately, without really thinking about what he meant.

“I didn’t think you’d understand, I thought you’d be like every other person in this stupid town, that you’d hate me and that you’d make my life miserable. Why the hell do you think I got the shit beat out of me and sent to the hospital? It wasn’t just some accident falling on my head, I got my ass kicked by Parker for being a cocksucker, and now everyone knows and worse, they think that I’m the one that killed Sean in order to keep him quiet!”

“What are you talking about Devin? I thought you fell, are you telling me that Parker kid attacked you? Just what else have you been hiding from me lately?”

“Jesus dad, no need to get pissed off…” I grumbled

“Apparently there is Devin. You spend all your damn days trying to hide everything from me, so of course now I’m the last to know that my son’s being beating by some shithead for being gay, and here I am spending all my time thinking that my straight son simply tripped and fell. Now you’re telling me that people at your school think that you killed your other teammate, because you and him were what, fucking each other behind the team’s back? Is that what all this is about, you were fucking around with Sean and now everyone thinks you killed him to keep it all quiet?”

“Yeah…”

“And you didn’t think for even a moment that I’d want to know that the whole damn town thinks of you as a murder suspect? You didn’t think that I’d want to hear from my own son that you’re not straight, instead of hearing it from all the fucking gossip freaks in town? I’m mad as hell Devin, but not because you like guys or are dating Alex or even that you just got caught having sex by your old man. I’m mad because you didn’t think you could trust me, that you thought I’d be as bad as the people out there making your life miserable.”

He stood up and looked at me, and this time I could see hurt in his eyes when he started talking again.

“Devin, we’re all we have ever since your mother died. I can’t help you when you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

He sighed, not sure what else to say or do.

“Finish your dinner. When you’re ready to tell me everything, you know where I’ll be. Think about that when you’re at school tomorrow and everywhere else you have to be.

Dad put his dishes in the sink and went back to his room, and closed the door behind him. I stayed exactly where I had sat the whole time, my dinner long since having gone cold. It was a long time before I got up to put my empty dish away.

When I did get up, I didn’t stay in my room for long. I grabbed a sweater and quietly put on my shoes, then left into the night.

I couldn’t really believe that I was doing this. In all my life, I had never run away from home. Certainly never just to go see someone that I was in a relationship, but now here I was, running silently down the street at night, knowing that it was going to take half an hour to get to Alex’s house and not caring about how much trouble I could get in once I got there. All I knew was that right now I needed to see Alex and make sure that he was okay and that he wasn’t too freaked out from how dad reacted tonight.

I still didn’t really know how dad felt about things, and I suppose that I probably should have talked to him and gotten that all figured out before I left. I know he was mad that I was hiding things from him, especially all the big shit that’s been happening lately, but he didn’t really tell me what he was thinking about me and Alex. On the other hand, he did throw Alex out today, so I guess that’s my answer… he’s not going to accept us and he’s not going to be there for me now that I’m in all sorts of trouble.

That made it all the more important that I make sure that Alex was okay and that he was still on my side, I couldn’t really handle losing dad and Alex as people I could turn to both in the same day, and since it looked like dad was done, I’d just have to rely on Alex even more than I had before.

It was hard to believe that I had to rely on this fourteen-year-old kid to keep me from falling apart. Here I am, a high school senior, and I’m letting someone three years younger than me watch out for me. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Aren’t I supposed to be the one that protects him, instead of always having to rely on him to keep myself from doing something stupid?

I kept running. I was getting tired from the long distance run, but I had to keep going if I was going to make it to Alex’s place at a sane hour of the day, and I didn’t want him or myself to get into any more trouble than we were already in. While I hadn’t actually gone to Alex’s house before, he had told me the address and it wasn’t too hard to figure out where that would be; it was a small town after all, and I recognized most of the streets, even if I didn’t know the exact house numbers yet.

I stopped to look around and catch my breath when I got to the right street. The houses were huge! I had no idea that Alex lived in one of the big houses in town, makes me wonder what other surprises he has in store for me. Or maybe these were just things that I never bothered asking him about because I was always focused on myself when we were together.

I kept up my run through the neighbourhood and found his house. As I thought, he lived in one of those two story mini mansions at the other edge of town. I stopped outside again, first to catch my breath and then also to figure out how I should do this. I couldn’t just walk up to the front door and knock could I? But then I wasn’t exactly in the mood to sneak around, particularly since I didn’t know which room was his or even how to get there once I did find it. For all I knew, he was in the upstairs part of the house anyways.

I decided that knocking on the door was probably the only way I was going to get to see Alex. If worse came to worse I’d be sent home and have to deal with my dad, but at least this way I had a chance to see Alex and talk to him a bit before I dealt with whatever else was going to happen tonight.

When I rang the doorbell I was surprised to see that Alex was the one who opened the door. Alex pulled me in quickly and after getting my shoes off, we both walked up to his room. Another lucky guess, he was upstairs near the back of the house; I wouldn’t have ever gotten up there if I hadn’t gone through the front door.

Alex closed the door behind us, and then turned to face me.

”Why are you here Devin? What’s going on?”

“I left because I wanted to make sure you were okay. That was a hell of an awkward way to leave my house thanks to dad, and I thought it’d be safer to chill out here for awhile before really dealing with him.”

Alex sighed, the way he always does when I’m being an idiot.

“You know you just made it worse right? Whatever else your dad thinks about you being gay or bi or whatever you are, and whatever else he thinks about you and me being together, he’s going to be way madder about the fact that you just ran away from home. That, my boy, is going to make him go right through the roof again. So while I’m really happy you came to check in on me, you need to get the hell out of here before your dad decides to vaporize you or chain you to a radiator or something truly awful.”

Alex was smiling as he said all that, and I realized he was absolutely right, but I still didn’t want to leave quite yet. With Alex following behind me and holding my hand, I went back downstairs, put my shoes back on and started running back to my place as fast as I could. I could see him standing in the doorway, watching me go.

I could see him standing in the doorway, watching me come back home. So much for a sneaky return. I couldn’t tell how he was feeling; dad just had this blank look on his face.

“You’re back. Have a good trip out” he asked without any emotion in his voice.

I didn’t say anything, I just walked back over to where he was standing and stood there, waiting for him to say something more than he’d already said.

“You keep doing things behind my back Devin. I thought I made it pretty clear that I’m on your side, so why did you leave?”

“I thought you were mad at me, I thought you hated the idea that I was gay. I saw how you threw Alex out and figured I’d be next once you figured out how to make that happen.”

“Devin. You’re my son. Of course I’m disappointed and worried about how this will affect your future, I just spent the last few days in a hospital. From what you’ve told me, it was because you were gay that you got beat. How can I not worry and think bad things? But I’m your father, and you’re my son. I’m not going anywhere, but you have to help me help you. Do you understand?”

“Yeah…”

“Alright. Get yourself ready for bed, you have school tomorrow. I’ll be taking you, I want a few words with this principal of yours.”

I trudged off to my room and threw myself down on the bed. I didn’t realize how tired I was until I laid down, and I quickly went to sleep.

************************************************************************

The next morning I woke up and got myself ready for school. When I first came down to the kitchen I was surprised to see dad there, then I remembered that he was going to take me in today. After eating a big breakfast, dad and I got in the truck and he parked in the lot. I walked off to my first class and dad went into the principal’s office.

I didn’t really think too much about it, and classes were keeping me busy. When lunch break happened, I got called down to the office, probably to deal with whatever dad had done. When I got into the office the secretary sent me directly to Principal Barrett’s office.

She didn’t waste any time before she got to her business with me.
“We have a problem Mr. Williams, and I need you to explain to me why it’s become this much of an issue that your father is coming into my office and making my day especially miserable.”

“I don’t understand what you mean ma’am. I wasn’t here when my dad was here, I don’t know what he talked to you about.” I replied.

“Stow it. I’m talking about the fact that you claim that Parker Xie and members of your baseball team attacked you in the locker room four days ago, and that you subsequently spent time in the Spokane hospital recovering from your injuries. Apparently this has been escalating, and at no point you did anything to inform me or any other staff members here about the abuse. Explain why this is Mr. Williams.”

She glared down at me, which was a bit of a miracle considering I was almost a foot taller than her. She just had this talent for making everyone look and feel tiny, which probably made this whole conversation about a thousand times more difficult than it had to be.

“It hasn’t been happening long, it’s only been a couple of weeks now, right before Sean Cobb passed away. People like Parker seem to think that I’m responsible for his death, and that people also think that it’s because he and I had a sexual relationship.”

“Did you?”

”Ummm…” I blushed hard at that question. “He sort of blackmailed me into doing sexual things with him, and then he photographed it. That’s how everyone knows, because those photos got leaked and everyone just assumes I killed him for that. But I swear I didn’t do anything!”

Principal Barrett gave me a hard look, and then pointed me towards the door. Before I left, she softened her voice and let me know a few things.

“I’ll be watching how things are going very carefully over the next little while. Keep your nose clean Devin, and this will all be over soon. Once you graduate, things should be better. I understand that you’re going to be leaving for university, that will be good for you.”

I nodded once at her, then left. There were only a few minutes left in lunch, so I quickly went to go visit Alex. I let him know exactly what had happened, and then it was time to get back to my next class.

When I got home that afternoon, dad was there waiting for me again. I told him exactly what had happened, and that Principal Barrett called me in at lunch. He seemed to accept that there were going to be some positive changes, or that it at least sounded like it. I had a lot of homework to catch up on, so I went to my room, locked the door and got to work.

I didn’t know it yet, but I had to believe that things were going to get a lot better soon, and that this was going to be the end of all the troubles I had to deal with. Dad still cared about me, Alex still likes me, and it even seems like Principal Barrett is going to look out for me. With that thought in mind, I started in on my homework, eager to make sure that I got the top grades I would need to get out of here and into a good university, away from all the crap I’d had to deal with this year.

A month went by and it seemed like everything was going back to normal. My dad had been a real big supporter of mine, and I was able to recover pretty quickly from what happened both physically and emotionally. Alex and I were doing pretty well as well. Of course, we weren’t able to be alone with each other when either of our parents were around, but at least we were able to spend time together.

Today we were just lounging around in my room. It was getting warmer outside since it was the end of May now, but sadly the May weather simply brought more rain as well as some warmer temperatures. Today was one of those days where the sky simply opened up and rained everywhere, spoiling my chance to get back on the field and play.

Yeah, I’m still on the baseball team. Like I said, things were slowly getting back together, and for the most part I was left alone by the team and the rest of the students at the school, especially once we found out what happened with Sean…

Turns out that he was swerving to avoid some animal that was on the road and that’s what caused him to crash his car. There wasn’t ever another driver or anything else to link anyone to the crime, This being such a small town, everyone made assumptions and all it was is that he tried to avoid some animal. I guess that’s nice too, that his last moments were good for something. It sort of bothered me that he’d be remembered for that instead of for how much he tormented me and cycled through girls in town, but what else can you do? He’s dead, no sense making things worse by complaining about him.

Alex was laying on my bed and I was sitting on the floor, looking out the window and hoping that it was going to stop raining sometime soon. I may as well have been wishing that it was going to start raining money instead of raindrops for all the good my wishing was doing.

Suddenly, Alex lowered his head down from my bed and looked at me

“Say, Devin” he asked. “Have you thought about where you’re going to go to school next year? I know you applied to a couple different places, but it has to be around that time to decide.”

He was right. I did apply to a couple different schools, mostly for their baseball programs, but I hadn’t taken the chance to even see what their responses were. I had only gotten the letters a couple of days ago, so there was still time to decide, but I should pick sooner or later, especially if I wanted a chance to go to tryouts next year. Still, there were a lot of different things I had to keep in mind when I decide where I want to be for the next four years… not the least of which is Alex, but also where I’m also going to have a chance to succeed and do the best for my future as well.

Of course, I still needed to be accepted by any of those schools, and there was no telling when that was going to be, I didn’t even know when they were supposed to start sending out acceptance or rejection letters to all of the thousands of kids who apply to the schools every year.

I replied to Alex “I haven’t really thought about it too much yet, I haven’t seen anything that’s forcing me to make a decision yet, but I know I definitely want to stay in state, so that’s at least one less decision I have to make.”

Alex nodded at me, not entirely understanding but probably knowing more than I thought he did.

“That makes sense. Just remember that when the time to make a decision comes, just think about what’s best for you and your future, and look at things beyond how long a drive it’ll be to come back here. Whatever you decide, I’m sure you’ll do what’s right for you.”

Well, that’s not exactly helpful. I was sort of hoping that he’d go through the different schools with me and sort out what the advantages and disadvantages of each one would be, that’s the sort of thing that he’s good at. He knows that I usually just pick something based on how I feel about it without really thinking about what would actually be the best for me, so why is he ditching me on something this important?

“Oh, I see…” I trailed off, not entirely sure how to explain why I was disappointed that he wasn’t going to help me make a decision about where I go to school.

“I kind of thought that you would help me make that kind of decision Alex. I mean, it does impact you doesn’t it? Where I go will make a difference in how often I can come back here.”

Alex nodded at me and fell off my bed so we could sit on the same level as each other.

“Yeah, sure it affects me and of course where you go changes how often you can come back, especially with your potential baseball schedule. But this is your life Devin, not mine. You can’t let yourself decide what to do based on what we do or on any consideration other than what’s best for you, not what’s best for how you think of us. Things always work out for a reason, you just have to make sure you do what you need to do, and the rest will figure itself out on its own.”

I thought about what he was saying, and I hadn’t really thought about it the way he was thinking. I mean, I was hurt because it sounded like he was saying it’d be okay if we weren’t able to see each other, but at the same time it was sort of cool that he was saying I should do what I need to do, since I don’t really want to come back here to live or work or anything like that, I want to move on and see what else is in the world where it’s safer to be into guys. That means I need to have a good education or be an amazing ball player, and that means looking at schools that will give me chances to excel, not just to be close to dad and Alex.

Thinking about this was becoming a little depressing though, especially since I hadn’t actually heard anything back yet. Instead, I tried to talk to Alex about the next big thing in everyone’s life here in town, and something that we definitely had to talk about sooner than later if we were going to get everything done that has to be done. Alex, however, seemed to have the same thoughts as I did.

“So… any ideas about the prom? It’s only a couple weeks away you know…” Alex said to me very shyly.

I blushed and looked away quickly. Truthfully, I hadn’t been planning to go because of how things had been going with Parker, but things were getting better now. I was just scared that if we went as an obvious couple that we’d just be asking for more trouble, and I didn’t want to deal with that when there was so little time left in the school year and then I’d never have to see any of those assholes again.

“Ummm, well actually, I hadn’t been planning on going this year. I know it’s my grad year and everything, but I don’t really want to see anyone there and I don’t want to start anything. I’d just as happily spend the night somewhere else instead. It’s just prom after all. Unless you wanted to go…” I trailed off again, nervous about the idea of actually going to my senior prom with a boy, but also secretly wondering if I could and have it not be a big deal.

Alex looked horrified, like I grew a second head or started talking about doing something awful to myself. I’m not sure why he cared so much, it wasn’t like it was anything important, it’s just a dance isn’t it?

“Devin, you have to go! Its your last chance to really enjoy being a kid. Once you graduate and head to college you’re going to have to start looking at things like an adult, and that probably means you won’t have as much time to relax and have fun. So what if Parker and the rest of the idiots are there, it’s your day too so don’t let them ruin it. Besides, you know what always happens after prom.” He looked at me quite suggestively when he said that last part.

I have to admit, that did sound pretty fun, though we’d probably want to find somewhere a bit more private than where everyone else normally goes to make out after prom.

“Alright, alright Alex, I’ll go. Will you go with me?” I asked with a dry note of sarcasm in my voice.

“Duh, that was the whole point of this wasn’t it?” He teased me right back.

I heard a gentle cough from the doorway to my room and saw dad stick his head in. I wonder how long he had been there and wanted to ask, but he cut me off before I could say anything.

“If you two lovebirds are done, I just wanted to let you know I’ll be back in a bit, I have to go pick up some stuff for dinner. Alex, are you staying to eat here tonight?”

”As long as that’s not a problem for you sir.” He replied.

“Alright, I’ll be back.” Dad left the room right after, and I could hear the car starting up.

I looked over at Alex, he was laying on his side on my bed, hand on his hip and just looking back at me.

“You know…” I said. “He did say he was leaving and that he wouldn’t be back right away.., perhaps we should make the most of this opportunity.” I suggested with a sly look at Alex.

Alex didn’t respond right away, he just went to my door and shut it before pulling me onto the bed and on top of him. I wasn’t used to this kind of Alex where he was taking charge, but it was pretty cool to see that he was as into the idea of playing around as I was, and I happily started necking him and feeling up his upper body with my hands. Alex was keeping himself very busy as well, while he was moaning from my kisses, he was trying to reach under my shirt and start taking it off, as well as feeling my abs and grabbing my nipples.

When he grabbed my nipples and squeezed them, I bit down hard on his neck and suckled it, knowing that I’d be leaving a massive hickey on the left side of his neck, right where anyone could see it. Right now I didn’t care, I was all about getting into Alex and showing him that even if I’ve got everything else floating in my head, I was at least going to try and do things right for him right now.

I stopped kissing him just long enough to sit him up and take his shirt off, then pinned him back down under me with both my hands resting and pressing down on his shoulders. I was now right over him, both of us shirtless. He and I were both panting pretty hard after that frenzied action, and I didn’t want to stop so I bent down and started to lightly lick each of his ears. Alex moaned and tried to kiss me, but he couldn’t reach and settled for running his hands along my back, pushing me down onto his body.

I thrust my clothed cock into his crotch and we both moaned at the physical contact. I wanted more. I stood up and pulled off my pants and boxers and motioned for Alex to do the same. The door was already closed and we didn’t have much time, so I pushed Alex onto his back and propped his head up with my pillows. I saw that he wasn’t fully undressed yet, so I straddled his chest and started to jerk my hard cock off in front of his face while he struggled to take his underwear off.

Once I knew his clothes were off, I inched forward so that my cock was resting on his face and my balls were on his chin. I started laughing uncontrollably and fell to one side next to him, the image of his face being perfectly cut in half by my cock was too much for me to handle, and he looked absolutely ridiculous the way I just saw him.

Alex glared at me and I knew I fucked up by ruining the atmosphere, and I really did need to get off now so I climbed back on him and did my best to keep a straight face, it was easier than I thought since I needed to get hard again and Alex was more than happy to help out. Once I was back on him he didn’t even wait for me to do anything, he just lifted his head and started sucking the head of my cock into his mouth.

I dared myself to look down at him sucking my cock. Holy shit. His eyes were closed and even though he had to purse his lips to suck me off, I could tell he was smiling and having the time of his life. This was so hot to see that he was sitting there enjoying it and I could just watch him blow me. Alex wasn’t going all the way down my shaft yet, he was mostly just licking and sucking the head and trying not to strain his neck too much from his position.

I realized this was going to hurt him so I stepped off of him and started laying back on my bed instead with my legs spread wide open for him. Alex too the cue perfectly and he got between my legs to suck me off again. I think he realized that we didn’t have too much time to play around, so he started bobbing up and down my shaft a lot faster, and also went a lot further down on my dick.

“Ohhhh, fuckk. That feels so good Alex. Keep going.” I cooed out to him, running my hands through his hair and gently pushing him to try and speed up the pace even more.

Alex responded by focusing back on the head of my cock again, this time by swirling his tongue around while occasionally sliding down my shaft. When he went down and when he came back up, he would make sure to flick the back of my cock head with his tongue as well. It felt amazing and I was getting really close to cumming from what he was doing.

I didn’t want to make a mess, and I sort of wanted to see what would happen, so I groaned and started shooting my load in his mouth without warning him. It felt really cool to shoot in him, and I slid my cock back so that I didn’t choke him with my cum. It wasn’t my biggest load, but I felt myself fire five spurts into his mouth.

I pulled out and Alex made a face at me, but he swallowed my cum and started to jerk himself off. I saw him reach to put one hand towards his ass and the other was used to quickly bring himself to orgasm. I’d have to think about what that could mean that he was starting to play with his ass, maybe that meant something or another, or it was somewhere that he liked to have played with.

When Alex came, he got really kinky and gathered all of his cum into his hand and fed himself his own load, then we both quickly got dressed. Just as we were both pulling our shirts back on, we heard my dad’s car pull back into the driveway. We both giggled at our good timing and went back to what we had been doing before dad left.

I straightened out the rest of my clothes and looked at Alex and asked him one last thing with a smirk, before dad could come back in.

“So, are you going to help me pick a college now?”

Oh my god, it was prom night. Thinking back now, I really shouldn’t have left things so late to get ready with Alex, or to even ask/be asked if I wanted to go with him. No one ever really talks about the fact that there’s a shit ton of things to do in order to get ready for prom. You just sort of assume that it’s all prepared for you and that you just have to show up, dance, and then see how things go afterwards. I didn’t realize you had to go get things fitted and figure out all these other plans about how to get there and what to wear or anything else.

Of course, the clothes I had before weren’t even close to good enough, most of them were pretty worn and faded, and the really nice stuff I had didn’t fit me, naturally. Alex was kind enough to go with me and help pick something out that was nice on me. I hated that he paid for it though… I wished I had enough that I could afford things like that instead of having him cover it, but with things the way they were at home dad and I had to focus on the essentials right now, and dress clothes for prom weren’t very high on our list of priorities right now.

Alex didn’t seem to mind, and when I said I’d make it up to him he gave me a weird wink and said that he knew I would. I guess he had something in mind and that he would be telling me about it later, or I guess he just knew that I’d do what I can to start paying it back someday, like when I’m in college or whenever. He was pretty trusting to wait that long though, if that was his plan.

Thankfully because of prom, practice was shortened so that all of the team could get home in time to prepare themselves. I normally wouldn’t complain, except that practice today was especially miserable from the weather and the fact that I was pretty distracted about going to prom with Alex, and hoping that people were going to be okay with things and not create more drama for me to deal with.

I had just gotten home from practice and since it was another really hot, muggy day out, I decided to have a shower before I needed to start getting ready for prom. I went to the bathroom and like usual, I stripped out of everything so that I could take a look at myself in the mirror. I was starting to develop a serious farmer’s tan from all of the sunlight and my time playing baseball. I knew in the summer it was going to be even worse, but right now it was already getting too hot to play in our uniforms, they really need to consider making baseball pants out of a material that won’t instantly stick to you the minute it gets above freezing.

Just for fun, I thought I would see what I looked like when I’m playing with Alex. Looking straight at the mirror, I put my index finger in my mouth and swirled it around with my tongue. I started to bob my head on my finger like it was a smaller version of Alex’s cock. I didn’t realize it, but when I looked in the mirror my lips were pursed around my finger with my cheeks hollowed out. I thought I looked ridiculous and burst out laughing at how silly I looked, especially compared to how Alex looks when he’s sucking me.

Dad must have heard me laughing because I was interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.

“Everything alright in there? What’s so funny you gotta let the whole neighbourhood know about it?” Dad asked through the bathroom door.

I yanked my finger out of my mouth and quickly yelled back “Everything’s fine! I’m just looking at my new tan.”

“Well, hurry it up will you? You gotta start getting ready to go, and you can’t be late this time.”

Dad did have a point there, Alex would absolutely kill me if I was late getting ready and made him wait for me alone with my dad.

“Alright, alright! I’m showering now” I grumbled back at him. Even though he was being a total pain about it, I knew he was right and that I needed to hurry up so that I could be ready for tonight. I hoped that things were going to be really fun at the prom, but I really didn’t know what else was going to happen tonight, I hadn’t made any plans for what we would do once the dance was over.

When I got into the shower I took some extra time to wash my hair and really clean myself off for Alex tonight. I wasn’t sure why I bothered, but I suppose it was a special night and I should try to look and smell my best for it. I normally only washed my hair every couple of days, but it wasn’t everyday that you have your senior prom, and it wasn’t every day that you got to bring your boyfriend with you, especially in rural America as a teenager.

Everyone in the big cities always talk about how much things have changed about gay rights and how much better its getting. Whenever I see the news its always talking about some gay rights thing, and Alex is always talking about some other gay rights thing. He keeps talking about this upcoming vote on marriage in November in the state, but that doesn’t really involve us. We’re too young for that sort of thing, and I doubted it would get approved anyway. Things may have gotten better, but not here, and not so much that people would actually vote to support us.

I especially didn’t think that people would be all that welcoming out here, especially after what happened with Sean and Parker. They had the kind of viewpoints that we all grew up with here, and while dad was pretty supportive of us so far, I could sorta tell that it wasn’t something he was really thrilled about, and that he’d rather not deal with it at all if he could avoid it, just like how I could tell that most people probably wouldn’t want to have to see it in their own neighbourhood if they could get a chance to get rid of it.

There wasn’t really anything I could do about that though, I could live my life and see what happens, and try to go to somewhere that wouldn’t be as backward and hateful towards me as its been around here lately.

Once I got myself ready to go, dad and I sat in the living room and waited for Alex to arrive, since he was supposed to get here before the limo would be arriving to take us both to prom. I know, it’s pretty cliché, not to mention expensive as all hell, but Alex was willing to help pay the costs, and you don’t have to ask me twice if I want to ride in a limo, this could be the only time in my life that I get to be in one of these things.

It was five-thirty when Alex arrived; he looked stunning. While I was dressed in a rental tuxedo, Alex had gone for deep purple corduroys, a light blue vest and a black long sleeve shirt to finish the ensemble that perfectly matched his hazel eyes. Alex topped it with a red bow tie and gelled his hair back, looking like a total prep kid and making me look pretty mediocre by comparison.

“You look amazing” I breathed. He really did, I was amazed at how different he looked when he wasn’t just wearing a sweater and jeans.

He smiled really big at me and replied “You look pretty good too Devin. Are you ready to get going? We don’t want to be late or anything like that.”

Alex was right, so after a few photos for my dad, we walked out and right on schedule at six, the limo arrived to take us to school. It was so weird to not be going to school in the stupid school bus, but there was only one word to describe riding in the back seat of a limousine with Alex… AWESOME! I’d never been in a car with so much room, and it seemed like everything was covered in black leather.

When we got there, it was pretty clear that most of the popular people had the same idea we did and rented limos too. I guess there were a few towns close by that were renting out, since there couldn’t be that many limos in our little town.

I didn't really want to see anyone when I first got there, so when the limo let us out I steered Alex inside the gym and went to go grab a drink for both of us. I grabbed a couple of cups of water and went to go join Alex over where I left him against the side wall of the gym. We were both just starting to settle into our drinks when I saw Parker, Annabelle and a few of their friends heading towards us. I didn't think that we'd be able to get away from them, so I just let Alex know they were coming and turned to face them so that we wouldn't look like they caught us by surprise.

Like most of the guys, Parker was wearing a tuxedo and Annabelle was leading the parade of ladies in a bright pink cocktail dress that looked absolutely out of place among everyone else's more restrained clothing choices. Thankfully, the other girls with them were at least making the attempt to restrain their clothing choices; they were still brightly coloured, but at least it wasn't bright pink. Every single person in their little group looked pissed off just to see us there, trying to enjoy the prom like everyone else.

"Oh look, two little faggots here, I wonder who else they're trying to kill" Annabelle sneered at us, glaring down and trying to look intimidating to the rest of her little group.

I was fed up with her and her antics, along with everyone else who had been giving me a hard time lately, and I knew that eventually it would get out of hand but I didn't care. I lashed out at her "Looks like all that make up has finally started fucking up your brain, otherwise you must have heard that Sean rammed the car into a tree all by himself. How about, just this once you crazy bitch, you go do something nice for someone instead of trying to stir shit up."

"Wow, look at the whiny cunt. Just because the stupid cops don't think you did it doesn't mean we don't know you did fag, we all know what you were doing for Sean, so screw off before we make your lives really miserable." That was Parker getting involved, he always did wait for someone else to get the ball rolling before he added his own garbage to the conversation.

I lost it and shoved Parker backwards into the water cooler. The next thing I knew there was a fight breaking out as the rest of the guys in the group started pushing Alex and I around, and I saw Alex get pushed right over the table. The fighting caught Principal Barrett's attention, and she quickly came over to break everyone up. After looking to see if Alex was okay, Principal Barrett sized up the rest of us.

"All of you, out. Now. You are all going to leave the prom and go home, and so help me if any of you start any more trouble tonight, I will let the police sort it out since none of you seem to be able to leave each other alone. You all have five minutes to grab your things, call your parents and leave."

Parker, Annabelle and the rest of their group shot me glares, but with Principal Barrett there they weren't going to do anything. I started to head to grab my stuff as well, but intentionally took my time so that I wouldn't have to see any of them at the coat check for mine and Alex's stuff. Once I got my stuff, Alex had already called and his mom was going to come to drop us back off at my place, which is where we'd stay until tomorrow. It was sort of amazing that Alex's mom didn't realize what we were doing together, but it worked for us right now.

She picked us up and we drove back to my place in utter silence. When we got back inside, I collapsed on my bed, still in all my clothes and just lay there staring at the ceiling and wondering how I managed to screw up yet another night.

“I’m sorry Alex, this wasn’t what you wanted, I shouldn’t have let those morons bother me” I said.

“Its okay” he said. “I wasn’t doing this for the dancing anyways, this was your day to be celebrated, and at least now that we’re home, we can move on to the second part of the celebrations…”

Alex took me by the hand and laid down on the middle of my bed, pulling me on top of him. I got the message and started to help take his shirt off, laying down on top of him and enjoying the skin contact. Alex helped take my shirt off as well, and started to kiss along my chest and on both sides of my neck. As he was kissing my neck, he bit down slightly and I let out a moan of surprise. I hadn’t had that happen to me before, and it felt really good.

I did the same to him and also lightly pressed down on his chest with my body, flattening him out against my bed and pressing him down into the mattress. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck and began licking and biting his neck in earnest, and really attempting to leave a mark where I could remember it and he could see it. Alex moaned and I bit down hard. I must have bit down too hard because he pushed me away and started rubbing where I had bit down.

“Too hard Devin, that hurt.”

“Sorry…”

Alex pulled the rest of his clothes off, and pulled my pants and underwear down as well. He pulled me back on top of him and kissed me. I kissed him back and started to feel around his chest and thrust gently into his crotch, just like I had done the last time he came over. This time when I did this, Alex stopped kissing me and waited for me to notice that he wasn’t doing anything.

“Fuck me Devin. I have a condom and lube in my pant pocket, I want to feel you and make this special for you.”

I sat there stunned that Alex was even suggesting something like this. I wasn’t super big by any stretch of the imagination, but I had a hard time believing that my dick was going to fit, and I didn’t want to hurt him, especially since I just hurt his neck by biting down too hard. I also didn’t really know how to do what he was asking, before the stuff with Sean and getting together with Alex, I hadn’t done anything other than jerk off, and now he wanted me to fuck him without so much as a warning that I should start preparing or figuring out what that would even look like.

I shakily reached down into Alex’s pant pockets and found what I was looking for. I was still really hard with anticipation, or maybe excitement, so it wasn’t too hard to roll the condom on and get lubed up, but from there I didn’t really know what to do.

“Ummmm, Alex..?” I asked, not really sure how to phrase what I was thinking.

He seemed to understand what the problem was and directed me on what I should do.

“Put some lube on your finger and start circling my butt hole, then once its all covered and starts to relax, try pushing your finger inside me to lubricate the inside of my ass.”

I did as he asked, and put some lube on my index finger and started to rub around his ass. The skin wasn’t as smooth as the rest of his body, but it didn’t feel too different otherwise, and soon enough it started to relax as I massaged all around it. I took that to be my cue that I should start pushing my finger inside of Alex. Alex winced when I first put it in, but he quickly motioned for me to keep going and to move my finger around in his ass.

I sort of knew what I was doing now, so I grabbed my cock and placed it at the entrance to his butt. I was still feeling a little nervous about this, but I figured there was nothing left to do now except to try it and see how things worked. I pushed forward slowly and slid around, trying to find his opening again without making it look like I was completely unsure of what I was doing.

I finally found his entrance and I slowly pushed forward, sliding my cock into the soft, velvety tunnel that was Alex’s virgin ass. Holy shit. This was what it was like to fuck someone. No wonder Sean didn’t care where he got it from, he just fucked and whatever he fucked was good enough. This felt amazing, and I groaned as I slid my entire length into Alex. Alex moaned as well, and I felt him clench down on me as I was sliding the last inch of my cock inside of him.

I started slowly thrusting into Alex, looking at him to see if there were any signs that he wasn’t okay with what I was doing. Other than a few grunts when I slid in too quickly, he seemed to be okay and was slowly playing with his own cock while I sawed in and out of him. Every once in awhile while I fucked, I would feel something inside his ass and Alex would spasm a bit and moan. I didn’t know what it was, but it seemed to turn him on so I tried to find it more regularly and thrust into it more.

Without warning, Alex stared to cum and his ass clenched down really tight on my cock. He was shooting a really big load and it felt so tight around my dick. I couldn’t begin to describe how it felt to have him pressing all around my cock, and I kept thrusting in while he was clenching to really feel him around me. Alex’s orgasm subsided, but the feeling of his ass around mine made me close, and I pulled out of him so I could start jerking to my orgasm.

Alex’s chest was covered in his cum, and I smeared it around his chest and really worked it into him, coating his whole body with his load. I closed my eyes and jerked myself off really quickly and shot my own load on top of everything that already was covering Alex.

After my orgasm slowed down, we cuddled with each other for a few minutes, then went to go have a shower since we were both really sweaty and Alex was covered in drying cum. I sort of thought about maybe doing something in the shower, but we were both kinda tired so we just cleaned each other off, and then went back to my room.

We were really tired at this point, so we both got changed into some underwear so we weren’t totally naked, curled up in my bed and went to sleep.

This was it, this was the last time that all of us would be in one building together, and would probably be the last time that I saw most of these people in my life. I was going to go on and do better for myself, and I wasn’t afraid of what the future had planned for me. I was happy with how things were, but I was also terrified of leaving even though I knew it would work out in the end.

It was graduation day, and I was waiting at home with Alex. Alex wouldn’t be going up on stage with me, of course, but that didn’t matter because he would be in the crowd with dad and everyone else who’s come to wish the graduating class well. Right now we were just relaxing, both in some casual clothes that we both knew better than to think we could get away with wearing once we headed to the ceremony.

Everything seemed to be falling into place. After prom, there were a few days where school was really tense, I guess the rest of the school thought Parker would finally take another shot at me, but considering how the last fight, actually ended up, I guess he thought better. Or he realized that Principal Barrett was as likely to stop watching all of our actions as she was likely to put us all on the honour roll. Either way, the badgering and comments about Alex and myself stopped, and I was able to go through the last couple weeks of school worrying about regular teenage things like marks and whether I’d actually get into college instead of worrying about who was going to try and beat the shit out of me today.

I looked over to my desk, where two envelopes lay unopened. The first one was from the University of Washington, and the other one was from Whitman College. Just by looking at them I couldn’t tell whether they were acceptance or rejection letters, and I wasn’t totally sure which one I wanted to go to yet. I visited both campuses of course, and I did like it at both, but there were lots of things for me to consider before I picked either one.

Whitman College would be a lot closer, but it would be way more expensive for tuition because it’s a private school. It also had a bit of a weaker program because it’s only a division three school, but that also meant that it was more likely that I’d get put on the team. It was also a lot closer to home, so I could come visit Alex and dad more often, as well as try to commute to school if I really thought it would work out that way.

The University of Washington would definitely be the better school for my academics, it’s school known all over America and it has a great reputation for its academics and athletics. I don’t know if I’d even make the team though, since they’re a division one team and I’d have to compete with that many more players at the tryouts. It was also pretty far away, completely across the state from where I lived, so visiting back and forth was definitely not going to be happening, probably not even for the holidays unless I get lots of help financing things and getting loans for myself. I didn’t think I would be eligible for any scholarships at either school, but there was probably some kind of funding available that I could get, I’d have to ask Alex for it once I knew for sure where I was going.

I glanced over at Alex, who was laying on the bed next to me, curled up into a little ball with his eyes closed. He looked incredibly small and young when he was scrunched up like this, but he also looked really cute, and I hated that I was going to have to wake him up in a couple minutes in order to get the stress of my college choice out of the way. This was going to be a tough decision to make, and I’m glad that Alex has been here to help me through everything I’ve had to do so far.

I sat up and crawled over to where he was laying and gently shook him by the shoulder. As his eyes fluttered open I started to rub his back and help bring him back into the waking world. I very quietly cooed in his ear;

“Hey buddy, time to get up. We have to get ready to go to graduation soon, and there’s one last thing we have to do before we go, remember?”

Alex started to struggle into wakefulness while I gingerly stepped off the bed to let him stretch out. I walked over to my desk and picked up both of the envelopes, trying to see if I could figure out what they were just by feeling them and looking at them in the light. The only thing it did was make me more nervous about what was inside, and dazing me a bit by looking right at the light when I took the envelopes out of the light. While Alex was getting himself sorted out, I walked out of the room and went to go see my dad in the living room. I wanted to make sure that he would be in the room with me as well when I finally opened these letters.

“Dad, its time. Alex is just getting up, and I think I’m ready to finally open these letters and figure things out. Come in to my room, or do you want me to bring everything out here?” I asked, actually not being sure where I wanted to do this.

“Bring everything out here, I’m already settled and there’s not going to be enough room for all three of us in there, I’ll make sure you’ve got something to sit on.”

When I got back to my room, Alex was sitting on the bed and was back to being fully dressed. He also made sure that he got himself all fixed up and that he looked presentable, even though we were showering and changing soon enough anyways. We both took one look at each other, and then walked out into the living room to see what the future was going to hold for me.

I was holding one envelope in each hand, in my left was the letter from the University of Washington, and my right hand held the letter from Whitman College. Once the three of us were in the living room and seated on different pieces of furniture, I took the letter from my right hand, set it down on the arm of my chair and looked over the letter from Washington University.

I took a deep breath and looked at dad and Alex. They were both smiling expectantly at me, and I could feel that they were there to support me no matter what the letter said. I ripped open the envelope and saw that there was a single piece of paper inside. I took the paper out, unfolded it and read the first thing I saw at the top of the page.

‘Dear Mr. Williams;

We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted to the University of Washington. There were a number of strong candidates for admission this year…’

I couldn’t read anymore. My eyes were glazing over and I clenched my fists with the letter in my hand, crumpling the paper and letting it fall to the floor. Dad and Alex were both looking at me expectantly, as though they weren’t entirely sure what my response meant.

I spoke at them without even looking up, keeping my voice barely above a whisper.

“I didn’t get in. That was the University of Washington and I didn’t make it.”

I looked up and could see that they were both disappointed for me, but not necessarily disappointed in me for this. It just was what it was I guess, and there was still the other envelope… I don’t think I could do it a second time and force myself to read another rejection letter.

I walked over to my dad and handed him the letter. I withdrew my hand and walked back to my chair before he could respond, and tried to wordlessly communicate that I couldn’t do it, I needed him to open the letter for me and let me know what my future was going to be, whether I was going to be a college boy or whether I’d be stuck in a hellhole where so many people hated me and actively tried to hurt me.

I looked at him as he slowly opened the envelope, barely daring to breathe. It felt like this was taking forever, and I couldn’t imagine why it would feel like time was slowing to an absolute stand still. The moments seemed to last forever, and then dad finally took out the letter and read what it had to say.

“Dear Mr. Williams:

Thank you for applying to Whitman College. Your application was received and reviewed by our admissions committee, and after serious consideration, we have decided to make you an offer of admission to our Sports Studies, Recreation and Athletics program. A second letter will be sent to you outlining your requirements for the first term once you accept your admission online or through responding mail.”

The world seemed to stop right there. It did for me anyway. Dad was smiling and Alex completely lost his mind and started hugging me right in front of dad like we were just in my room alone, but I was frozen in place. I couldn’t believe it; I got in. I was going to be going to college, making something of myself that I could be proud of and would live up to what I think I should be.

This was what I wanted, and I knew that I deserved to be going, but this was such a big, unexpected change that I didn’t know what to think or do right now. I was going to go to a private school to learn how to be a fitness trainer, or whatever else I thought I wanted to be in the field of athletics. I was excited to be going, but I had no idea how it was going to work or how we’d pay for it or even where I’d live. There was so much I had to get figured out and only a couple months left to do it, and that was going to be a huge source of stress for me. How do people breathe when they find out they’re going to college? How on earth does anyone read the news or have it read to them and jump up and down like it’s a million dollars when everything still needs to be figured out and there’s so much up in the air?

I guess dad finally noticed that I seemed to have lapsed into a waking coma or something, because he got all concerned and looked at me like he was going to ask how I was doing. I saw him coming and waved him off with a small smile and a nod. Whatever else happens, dad will be there for me and we’ll get through it, the same way we’ve gotten through everything else together ever since mom died.

I looked over at Alex as well, and I could see how proud he was of me that I was going to be fulfilling my dreams. I couldn’t help but smile too, Whitman was close enough that I would be able to visit, so who knows what would happen once I got there or after I started my studies.

I decided that all those were things I could deal with tomorrow. Today was a day to celebrate, not just my graduation but the fact that there still was another path that I was going to be following over the next four years. I didn’t know what would really be happening, but it was going to be better than the last few months here, and that was good enough for now. I had my family, my friends and Alex, and even though they wouldn’t be coming with me to Whitman, they’d still be close by.

I smiled at Alex and took him up to my room. It was time to change and get ready. I had a bounce in my step that had been missing for the last little while, and it was nice that I could notice the difference and see how much this changed everything in my life. It was time to get ready, and for once I didn’t want to be late to a school function.

************************************************************************

The bright lights of the school gym always seemed harsh to me, but tonight they were dimmed down, proving to me that they are actually capable of being something other than blinding balls of death hovering above us. Tonight they were dimmed, softening everything around them and creating an orange glow around my fellow graduates.

We were seated in alphabetical order, which meant I was going to be waiting awhile to get called up, but it also meant that Parker and Annabelle were far enough away that they weren’t going to start any trouble tonight. I didn’t have to worry anyway, both of them were completely lost in the moment like everyone else, and they weren’t going to spoil their own nights just to make me miserable tonight. For once, everyone was just happy for each other and it was amazing to see what we could all be like if we stopped acting like children.

I guess that’s the thing now too, we’re not children anymore, we’re going to be adults now, and while some of us are still going to be students, it’ll be at a college and not a high school anymore. We’re going to have to grow up and face things head on instead of letting things be resolved by childish antics, and I think as we all put on our caps and gowns, we started to realize that.

We were a small school and had a small graduating class, but the ceremony lasted a long time. Each graduate was called up individually to receive their award, and Principal Barrett would say a few things about us that would highlight the things that she remembered about us during our high school career. It was a touching thing for her to do, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t something bigger schools did.

There were a couple of intermissions in which the school band would play something that was meant to make us all tear up, and I found that I didn’t really have to listen much in order to start getting all reflective and stuff. This was the last time I’d be here, it was natural that I’d want to think about all the time I spent in this school over the last five years, right? It wasn’t all bad, even though I wish parts of the last few months hadn’t happened, overall it was one of those places that you just went to, and there were going to be some memories that I wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon.

Eventually my name was called, and I anxiously started climbing up the steps and onto the stage to receive my diploma from Principal Barrett. It was tradition that while she spoke about you, you had to stand up on stage and be the centre of attention. I had no idea what she was going to say, and to be honest I was terrified about what was going to happen, or what she was going to say and how everyone would react.

As I stood there, I knew without a doubt in my mind that everyone in the room knew me. Or at least they thought they did. They knew what their children had told them or what other students had told them, and it was all a caricature of what the rumours exploded and of course the maliciousness of some of my classmates. I knew that there were some people there who were looking at me without kindness, and that they were not going to change their views no matter what Principal Barrett said.

She took to the podium and I could see that she had a cue card with her, something I hadn’t seen her do with any of the other graduates that she had met on stage so far tonight. I knew there were only a couple other kids after me, so maybe this was just for the next part of the ceremony, but then she began her stroll through her own memories of me.

“Five years ago, Devin Williams came to this school as part of the graduating class you see before you today. He was a young man that, like most teenagers, had the potential to grow into an upstanding citizen, but he didn’t know who he was or what he was supposed to do in this world. He was lost, and because of that he blended into his surroundings. He was someone that tried hard to be missed, and until recently that’s what he was, the boy who played sports and did everything that a young man should, and so he escaped our notice.”

Principal Barrett looked me in the eye before turning her attention back onto the crowd.

“Many of you will know the rumours and the surrounding controversy around Mr. Williams, and most of you will have come to your own conclusions no matter what the official reports state. The events of the last few months, which no one need recount tonight, have changed Devin for the better. He may not realize it, but he has grown more in these last few months than he did in the four years before this year began. Devin has faced greater adversity than most of us have, and those experiences have taught him about who he is. The person on stage here is not the same scared, uncertain teenager he was when he first got here. He isn’t there yet, but he’s finally learning who he is and where he should be in this world. Whatever you think of who he is as a person, he deserves your respect for coming to terms with the truth of his life experiences and not shying away from how it would affect his life.”

“Mr. Williams, you’ve grown so much and matured so much. I do not know what the future holds for you, but I look forward to watching you on your journey. Good luck, and congratulations on your graduation.”

People in the crowd were muttering, it had been a much longer statement for me than it had been for anyone else in the graduating class, and to be honest it was quite different from the vague platitudes and funny anecdotes she had for most students. Principal Barrett stood down from the podium with my diploma in her hand. She shook my hand first, and then handed me my diploma before I could start heading off the stage.

I returned to my seat, and listened to the last couple of names be read up and the stories that were told. The end of the ceremony was a blur to me, I was too lost in my own thoughts of what Principal Barrett said about me, and about where I would be going. She didn’t know I was going to college or the other thoughts in my head, but I knew she was talking about more than just my future education when she spoke about learning who I was. She was, in her own way, encouraging me to keep exploring what it means to be in a relationship with a boy, and to see that it could be better for people like me in bigger places, I just had to go be there and reach for those dreams.

Alex, dad and I returned home. It was exhausting, and I wanted to sleep. Alex wanted to talk, but I couldn’t do anything anymore, everything was numb and it was finally starting to sink in that I was going to graduate and go to college.

I calmed Alex down enough to let him know that we would talk more about it in the morning. I had a feeling that tomorrow morning there would be a lot of different things to talk about. School, graduation, what we would do about us, what would happen when I left and he stayed behind. These were all things that were racing through my mind, but I knew that they were a discussion for tomorrow.

I didn’t know what tomorrow or September would bring, but tonight, that was okay. Tonight I went to sleep holding onto Alex, and I decided to let the future figure itself out.