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Kell
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Sun Mar 28, 2010 8:25 pm

No problem Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Thu Apr 29, 2010 4:02 pm

a new nat for all of thou

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:28 pm

AWKWARD AWKWARD chapter ending.
Yikes! There's just no way that this is going to end well.

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:31 pm

lol


the other conflict, trev, that i was thinkin of using was nick wud be forced 2 out taylor bcuz ppl were bullying him & threatening him & that sorta stuff. but i went w/ this instead

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:06 am

yes, it must've been awkward lol. so did ted see taylor too? that might be a problem.
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:34 pm

i wud assume he saw taylor. i mean they were right there

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Sat May 01, 2010 2:31 am

its not clear that he saw taylor. i mean, taylor could have been like 10ft. from nick and when he heard nick say "Ted?!" he could've run and hidden himself behind the sofa or something lol. but the thing is, he cant play the 'i was just hanging with him card-- shirtless' lol. i think im going to like the next chapter lol.
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Sat May 01, 2010 2:32 pm

Taylor rolled his eyes, walked over to me & wrapped his arm around my waist.

I opened the door, both of us shirtless, when I saw the warmest green eyes staring back at me. But it wasn't the eyes that I nearly dropped my jaw over.



there.

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Sat May 01, 2010 4:23 pm

damn, oh well.
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:42 pm

dun dun dun duuuuuuuuun. new nat chap

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:02 am

Lo-lo-lo-love TRIANGLE!
Lol. Anyway, I like this! Ted's not a clearly cut character, neither good nor bad - he's just in an awkward place and making things complicated, which is a realism I like. Also, I'm amused by the gay msn advice swapping that goes on with Mike, since that's pretty much my conversations with Trev haha. Great chapter, really looking forward to seeing how this will impact on Nick and Taylor's relationship, keep it up!

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:54 am

Rofl. Alex, our conversations don't ALWAYS get like that. Just most of them <3. Seriously though, this could end up being all sorts of good fun for the story. BRING ON THE DRAMA LLAMA!

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:00 pm

AWKWARD! period.
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:34 pm

Sneaky closet queer boyfriend of mine best quote ever
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:38 pm

wow for a second i was like wtf r u talking-ohhhh wait i think i said that in the chapter haha


well if you havent read it yet, then read the newest chapter or u can die or whatever. so yeah lets talk shall we?

this chapter was fluff. im in a little bit of a writers block & even though i know where im going, GETTING there is a little tricky. so yes i KNOW this wasnt a great chapter, but watevs

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:06 pm

Id hardly say it's fluff - if anything this is buildup to a grand collision of forces within the story. I thought this chapter was a good advance to the story, and I loved the 'What else could POSSIBLY go wrong?' at the end, cheeky little poke at us readers there Razz
I WOULD say that I thought one line of dialogue was a little unrealistic:
Quote :
"Well maybe a Bible & few smacks will bring him around. I'm not having that boy's life ruined just because some little fag wants him to do Lord knows what with him & keeps him away from what matters. I'll have him stay after Mass for a few hours each Sunday."
I think it's just the way that he treated violence so casually was at odds with how a person like this would like to be perceived. Just a minor quibble, but I thought you'd appreciate the constructive criticism. The mother, on the other hand, was a very well-sculpted character, I could practically feel the venom dripping from her mouth as I read the dialogue. Keep it up! Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Wed Aug 04, 2010 3:14 am

Nice foreshadowing, Nick dropped the magazine, then later asks, what could possibly go wrong
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Wed Aug 04, 2010 3:21 am

ohhhhh i wish i had placed a bet on that alex, cuz i KNEW u were gonna pick up on that piece of dialogue lol. and i COMPLETELY agree. i wanna find a balance between abusive in the biblical sense & realistic but its a little hard. so i might edit that dialogue at sum point. and yes alex, i appreciate the constructive criticism lol

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:07 am

wow, alex, thats some detail that you were looking into! and good job kell, like alex said, the last sentence was awesome, i felt like we should expect more shit lol.
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:16 am

ems wrote:
i felt like we should expect more shit lol.



i love you for that roflmao

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:40 pm

I just finished the 14 chapters...then decided to join
Really loved all the ideas and can't wait to read more on Nick & Taylor
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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:49 pm

well thank u shauni im glad ya liked Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:40 am

Welcome Shauni! As Official Welcomer, I'd like to welcome you to KBB! Very Happy
We hope you'll stick around and converse with all of our lovely members, please feel free to post an introduction in the relevant thread, and if you're daring, a photo in the member pics thread. We're all very friendly, and if you've got any questions, feel free to direct them to myself (Alex) or to dare de-vil (Kellen), our EVIL OVERLORD Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:45 am

evil? dont flatter me

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PostSubject: Re: Overall story discussion   Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:03 am

dare de-vil wrote:
evil? dont flatter me
Well what would you prefer, mildly annoying?

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