Relationships

I figured we needed a thread about relationships! Post stories or news about your own relationships, requests for personal advice (if you feel up to sharing) or general musings about good and bad relationships, how they work and what they need.

In case you hadn't worked it out, I'm starting this thread because I have something to share with the group, so I'll start!

Some of you already know this, but I'm kinda seeing someone - J. I've known him for about a year now, but until recently he was dating my friend B. It's always been public knowledge (and the source of much awkward joking) that I like J. Anyway, a few weeks ago J told me he was breaking up with B because he didn't feel the same way as B felt about him. He also told me that he had feelings for me but that those feelings didn't have anything to do with the breakup, which I believe to be true. He and B were having trouble for some time. Anyway, after they broke up, he told B that he intended to pursue me and we hooked up. B spoke to me about it and I promised him that nothing had happened before their breakup. He decided he wasn't pissed off at me or J (any more than he was already for breaking up with him) as long as we didn't exclude him from our friendship group.

Here's where it gets (more) complicated. J and B are living in the same flat together with another friend and will be for the next year, which means it's really hard for me to spend any time with J without B being around, especially since I don't want B to feel like I'm pushing him aside. Added to that is the fact that J is at home at the moment and I'm going on holiday on Monday when he gets back to Sheffield, which basically means I won't see him for the next two weeks, which sucks. Added to THAT is that I'm trying to spend as much time with B as possible so he's reassured that our friendship is still important to me... but that's making me resent B for being in the way, which makes me feel far more guilty about the whole thing than I did about hooking up with J in the first place.

I know J and B still talk loads, which is kinda what you'd expect but still feels weird. But every time J mentions something I've talked about with B (or vice versa) I can't help but feel like B's trying to sabotage us. For example: a few days ago J and I were talking on FB until about 6AM. B brought it up the next day and said that J said I'd been keeping him up all night. I just laughed it off, but then when I next spoke to J he told me B had told him that I'd been annoyed at J for keeping ME up! I can't tell how much of this is B being malicious, how much is him just being cross with J, and how much of this is just in my head. So I feel really conflicted about my friendship with B BECAUSE I was worried about being conflicted about my friendship with B, and the fact that I feel really conflicted when my burgugoning relationship with J is going really well makes me feel even more fucked up.

/crazy

I'm pretty sure most of this is just me overanalysing things and that things will be fine within a month or so, so I'm trying to ignore it all and just concentrate on being friends with B and enjoying getting closer to J. Right now it's just a bit of a mess. I hope you don't mind me spilling my guts out all over the forum like this, but it helps me get things straight in my head to unleash every so often. I'm sure you all know what I mean! Anyway, consider reading all these paragraphs of noise the price of getting all the good gossip

Sabazius wrote:

In case you hadn't worked it out, I'm starting this thread because I have something to share with the group, so I'll start!

Some of you already know this, but I'm kinda seeing someone - J. I've known him for about a year now, but until recently he was dating my friend B. It's always been public knowledge (and the source of much awkward joking) that I like J. Anyway, a few weeks ago J told me he was breaking up with B because he didn't feel the same way as B felt about him. He also told me that he had feelings for me but that those feelings didn't have anything to do with the breakup, which I believe to be true. He and B were having trouble for some time. Anyway, after they broke up, he told B that he intended to pursue me and we hooked up. B spoke to me about it and I promised him that nothing had happened before their breakup. He decided he wasn't pissed off at me or J (any more than he was already for breaking up with him) as long as we didn't exclude him from our friendship group.

Here's where it gets (more) complicated. J and B are living in the same flat together with another friend and will be for the next year, which means it's really hard for me to spend any time with J without B being around, especially since I don't want B to feel like I'm pushing him aside. Added to that is the fact that J is at home at the moment and I'm going on holiday on Monday when he gets back to Sheffield, which basically means I won't see him for the next two weeks, which sucks. Added to THAT is that I'm trying to spend as much time with B as possible so he's reassured that our friendship is still important to me... but that's making me resent B for being in the way, which makes me feel far more guilty about the whole thing than I did about hooking up with J in the first place.

I know J and B still talk loads, which is kinda what you'd expect but still feels weird. But every time J mentions something I've talked about with B (or vice versa) I can't help but feel like B's trying to sabotage us. For example: a few days ago J and I were talking on FB until about 6AM. B brought it up the next day and said that J said I'd been keeping him up all night. I just laughed it off, but then when I next spoke to J he told me B had told him that I'd been annoyed at J for keeping ME up! I can't tell how much of this is B being malicious, how much is him just being cross with J, and how much of this is just in my head. So I feel really conflicted about my friendship with B BECAUSE I was worried about being conflicted about my friendship with B, and the fact that I feel really conflicted when my burgugoning relationship with J is going really well makes me feel even more fucked up.

/crazy

I'm pretty sure most of this is just me overanalysing things and that things will be fine within a month or so, so I'm trying to ignore it all and just concentrate on being friends with B and enjoying getting closer to J. Right now it's just a bit of a mess. I hope you don't mind me spilling my guts out all over the forum like this, but it helps me get things straight in my head to unleash every so often. I'm sure you all know what I mean! Anyway, consider reading all these paragraphs of noise the price of getting all the good gossip

First I'd like to say I think you two would make a cute couple
As for B saying things to J. Personally I would tell J that B is probably still sore about the relationship (both the breakup and the current new one) so he maybe misinterpreting things. So take what he says with a grain of salt also tell him not to worry blah blah. Oh and don't call out B on what he has said unless you want to risk alienating him.
Also hit me up if you ever need to talk about this or anything. I do love such gosip

Am i allowed to talk about girls here?

ugh -_-

go ahead...

well, there's this girl that i like. she's not exactly a joy to be with but sometimes she's super cool. recently we were talking about our previous "relationships". i knew that she just wanted to know how much sex ive had i told her everything. and then she told me about the million guys that she's been with. in detail. while some of them WERE pretty hot, it just made somewhat jealous. i feel like im heading towards a disaster here.

Sabazius wrote:

In case you hadn't worked it out, I'm starting this thread because I have something to share with the group, so I'll start!

Some of you already know this, but I'm kinda seeing someone - J. I've known him for about a year now, but until recently he was dating my friend B. It's always been public knowledge (and the source of much awkward joking) that I like J. Anyway, a few weeks ago J told me he was breaking up with B because he didn't feel the same way as B felt about him. He also told me that he had feelings for me but that those feelings didn't have anything to do with the breakup, which I believe to be true. He and B were having trouble for some time. Anyway, after they broke up, he told B that he intended to pursue me and we hooked up. B spoke to me about it and I promised him that nothing had happened before their breakup. He decided he wasn't pissed off at me or J (any more than he was already for breaking up with him) as long as we didn't exclude him from our friendship group.

Here's where it gets (more) complicated. J and B are living in the same flat together with another friend and will be for the next year, which means it's really hard for me to spend any time with J without B being around, especially since I don't want B to feel like I'm pushing him aside. Added to that is the fact that J is at home at the moment and I'm going on holiday on Monday when he gets back to Sheffield, which basically means I won't see him for the next two weeks, which sucks. Added to THAT is that I'm trying to spend as much time with B as possible so he's reassured that our friendship is still important to me... but that's making me resent B for being in the way, which makes me feel far more guilty about the whole thing than I did about hooking up with J in the first place.

I know J and B still talk loads, which is kinda what you'd expect but still feels weird. But every time J mentions something I've talked about with B (or vice versa) I can't help but feel like B's trying to sabotage us. For example: a few days ago J and I were talking on FB until about 6AM. B brought it up the next day and said that J said I'd been keeping him up all night. I just laughed it off, but then when I next spoke to J he told me B had told him that I'd been annoyed at J for keeping ME up! I can't tell how much of this is B being malicious, how much is him just being cross with J, and how much of this is just in my head. So I feel really conflicted about my friendship with B BECAUSE I was worried about being conflicted about my friendship with B, and the fact that I feel really conflicted when my burgugoning relationship with J is going really well makes me feel even more fucked up.

/crazy

I'm pretty sure most of this is just me overanalysing things and that things will be fine within a month or so, so I'm trying to ignore it all and just concentrate on being friends with B and enjoying getting closer to J. Right now it's just a bit of a mess. I hope you don't mind me spilling my guts out all over the forum like this, but it helps me get things straight in my head to unleash every so often. I'm sure you all know what I mean! Anyway, consider reading all these paragraphs of noise the price of getting all the good gossip

ems wrote:

well, there's this girl that i like. she's not exactly a joy to be with but sometimes she's super cool. recently we were talking about our previous "relationships". i knew that she just wanted to know how much sex ive had i told her everything. and then she told me about the million guys that she's been with. in detail. while some of them WERE pretty hot, it just made somewhat jealous. i feel like im heading towards a disaster here.

Alex tells a better story. Just saying.

loooool woody

so lemme get this straight

ur interested in a slutty girl whos sluttiness ur jealous of & shes also kind of a bitch?

Yes woody, that was what I was doing. Telling a nice dandy story for bedtime lol.

Kell, almost. I'm jealous of all the other guys that she's been with. Not her. And she's not a "bitch". You can have a good laugh with her but she has violent mood swings that can anything in between hyper-horny-happy to death-is-only-the-beginning-of-the-end-depressed.

a slutty bipolar female. the farthest thing from my list

She sounds kinda messed up dude. Getting with her could end up coming to bite you in the ass, either if you get too involved and she doesn't want any of it, or if you end up being forced to deal with her baggage. Obviously you're a big boy and can take care of yourself, so I'm sure you'll decide what's best for you, but be careful, k?

alex, did u intend this topic to be relationships only, or crushes/likes/attractions/etc also? if not then u can make a new topic for that

Kell wrote:

alex, did u intend this topic to be relationships only, or crushes/likes/attractions/etc also? if not then u can make a new topic for that

My intent was for this thread to cover anything from full-blown melodramatic romances to flights of fancy regarding casual crushes. Basically, any personal story that relates more to relationships than sex should go here. E's interested in this girl on a more than sexual level and was sharing his feelings about her with us. If he had some purely sexual anecdote, that would probably be more suitable for "one time, at band camp" but anything more emotionally serious than that can go here. That sound about right?

So this one time at band camp...
















































































I never went to band camp.

Ecii wrote:

So this one time at band camp...
















































































I never went to band camp.

You poor deprived person

wat waste of a nanosecond to scroll down >

Thanks alex but i am risking getting bitten lol. i like her a lot. as for the mood swings, idk what im going to do with. On that note, has anyone heard of a person not wanting to reply a text message cos they didnt nap and was grumpy?

ems wrote:

Thanks alex but i am risking getting bitten lol. i like her a lot. as for the mood swings, idk what im going to do with. On that note, has anyone heard of a person not wanting to reply a text message cos they didnt nap and was grumpy?

Only bitches do that.

bitches love naps.

Kell wrote:

bitches love naps.

Yes you do

L-O-L!

painservedcold wrote:

...but for some reason I find him utterly fascinating...

ok why do u always find people "fascinating" & "interesting?" they aint specimens ya know & ull pay for the bitch comment -_-


ok so my latest crush has been the most...out of the ordinary crush ive ever had. his name is andy, hes a junior(?) here at salem & i met him a couple weeks when training started & so hes like my coworker even though we dont work in the same building. the thing that makes him notable is that hes transgender, & so even though hes still physically a girl, i still find myself really attracted to him

Kell wrote:

painservedcold wrote:

...but for some reason I find him utterly fascinating...

ok why do u always find people "fascinating" & "interesting?" they aint specimens ya know & ull pay for the bitch comment -_-


ok so my latest crush has been the most...out of the ordinary crush ive ever had. his name is andy, hes a junior(?) here at salem & i met him a couple weeks when training started & so hes like my coworker even though we dont work in the same building. the thing that makes him notable is that hes transgender, & so even though hes still physically a girl, i still find myself really attracted to him

i've never met another andy...

Kell wrote:

painservedcold wrote:

...but for some reason I find him utterly fascinating...

ok why do u always find people "fascinating" & "interesting?" they aint specimens ya know & ull pay for the bitch comment -_-


ok so my latest crush has been the most...out of the ordinary crush ive ever had. his name is andy, hes a junior(?) here at salem & i met him a couple weeks when training started & so hes like my coworker even though we dont work in the same building. the thing that makes him notable is that hes transgender, & so even though hes still physically a girl, i still find myself really attracted to him

I was gonna apologize for it, but then you went and proved me right.

As for why I say that, he IS fascinating. How many sixteen year olds do you know who own their own businesses, while being the most introverted kind of person you can be? It's a combination that doesn't normally happen, so I think it's usual and want to see more of it.
Besides, there's a lot of things I'd say if he was older, but Pedobear will kill me if I say it now.
And it's a moot point, he's not interested AT ALL

Kell wrote:

painservedcold wrote:

...but for some reason I find him utterly fascinating...

ok why do u always find people "fascinating" & "interesting?" they aint specimens ya know & ull pay for the bitch comment -_-


ok so my latest crush has been the most...out of the ordinary crush ive ever had. his name is andy, hes a junior(?) here at salem & i met him a couple weeks when training started & so hes like my coworker even though we dont work in the same building. the thing that makes him notable is that hes transgender, & so even though hes still physically a girl, i still find myself really attracted to him

I have frequently found myself appreciating f2m guys and androgynous women. In the queer scene it can sometimes be difficult to pick up on someone's gender anyway. Does this Andy like you back?