Chapter 41: Needs

"Hey guys," I said as I walked up to the table during lunch.

They all greeted me warmly, except for Jade, who wasn't there.

"Where's Jade?"

"I think he's up in the library," Randy said as he took a bite into his sandwich.

"Ok. I gotta talk to him," I said. I said my byes as I left.

I was feeling much more than the pinch of Jade's anger. And I deserved it, 100%. I guess I had thought I had the upper hand in our arguments, but not only was I wrong...I shouldn't have been looking to fight at all. Jade hadn't been answering my calls or my texts. He was ignoring me. And boy did that hurt. For a couple days I decided to give him some space. But I couldn't stand it anymore. I need closure, or SOMETHING.

When I made it upstairs to the library, I looked around for him for a couple minutes. Just as I was about to give up, I saw him by one of the windows near the corner, his face buried in a homework assignment. I made my way over to him.

"Hey..." I said quietly as I walked up to him.

He looked up & immediately, I saw his face darken. That alone crushed me. My mere presence was now a bother to him.

"Hey," he said after a sigh.

"What's up?"

"Just doin' some work," he said, his attention now back on the task n front of him.

"Cool. So um, listen..."

"Noah," he cut me off. "Whatever it is, it can wait for another time. I'm busy right now," he said, still not looking up.

The fact that he wasn't even looking at me was hurting me. EVERYTHING he was and WASN'T doing was hurting me so badly.

"Look, I know you're mad at me...and you have the right to be. What I said at Dade's..."

"What you said at Dade's was just as JUST as inappropriate as whatever you're about to say now. This isn't the time OR the place."

"I know but please, hear me out. I didn't mean to say what I said. I was mad & I wasn't thinking," I explained to him.

He looked up at me. "'Look, don't touch'."

"Huh?"

"That was our rule, remember? 'Look, don't touch'. That we were 'free to let our minds wander' but as long as we never CHEATED. We both agreed on that early on."

"I know, but..."

"But WHAT?"

"A girl though? You don't think that's something to keep a note of?" I said.

"Of course it is," he agreed. "But that still doesn't mean I would actually DO anything."

There was an awkward moment of silence as he turned back to his studies. I knew he was right.

"Look..." I started to apologize again.

"Can't you see I'm trying to do some work?" he said sharply. "What happened to this bit of space you've been giving me?"

"I couldn't stand it anymore, I needed to talk to you."

He put his book down.

"So let me get this straight," he laughed, looking up at me again. "YOU figured it was ok for us to talk again, all because YOU suddenly wanted to?"

"Well...I..."

With that, Jade suddenly started to pack his stuff up & put it back into his backpack. "Ya know what Noah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. You're literally so obsessed with me forgiving you, that you disregard the fact that I want some alone time. Did you ever think that maybe I'm not ready to talk to you?"

He stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To find another place to study where you won't interrupt me," he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"I said I'm sorry...don't you think you're being a little hard on me?" I asked, my stomach becoming upset.

"You're not gonna play victim this time dude," he shook his head & started to walk past me.

"Jade, please!"

He turned around backwards as he kept walking.

"Leave me alone Noah," he said calmly. He turned around & walked out of the library, leaving me standing there by myself.

**********

I was with Jared at his house later that night. I had felt somewhat numb all day & thought that maybe if he & I went back to his place, I could feel better.

"So what kinds of movies do you like?" he asked me as he led me over to his living room where there was a large flat screen tv mounted on the stone wall above the fireplace. I watched him as he went to a tall cabinet, that, when he opened it, was stacked to the top with DVDs.

"Wow...that's a lot of movies you guys have?" I said in disbelief.

"Mhm. So you name a movie you wanna watch & I guarantee we have it."

"Oh gosh, I can't even begin to think. Do you have 'Independence Day'?"

"Do we have 'Independence Day'...psh," he huffed as he moved cases around & suddenly pulled out a case. He showed it to me. 'Independence Day'.

"Cool," I smiled.

I walked over to the couch & sat down as Jared popped the disc into the DVD player. As it started up, he walked over into the kitchen where I saw him go into a locked cabinet & pull out a bottle of wine.

"You want some?" he asked me.

"Nah."

"Oh c'mon. You didn't even finish yours last time," he said, struggling a bit with the cork.

"Yeah well last time, I wasn't expecting to be jumped," I laughed. I saw him roll his eyes as the cork popped out. "Plus, I get drunk kind of easily."

He looked over at me with a silly face.

"Funny, I don't see you as a drinker. Especially since you keep REFUSING to let me serve you," he grinned as he took out a glass & poured.

"Yeah well...it's true apparently. A couple years ago during a New Years party, we had some champagne & I guess I got drunk haha."

"Champagne?" he said incredulously. "Wow you must be pretty soft inside then I guess."

"Yeah...they filmed me acting a bit goofy & kissing Jade."

"Jade...?" he asked.

"My ex...?"

"Oh right, him! I met him at the club right?"

"Yeah. Well, he's really mad at me lately because I accused him of kind of cheating on me."

"Well, here's the deal," he said as he walked back with two glasses of red wine, "tonight, you're not gonna talk about him. You're not gonna talk about him, you're not gonna think about him, you're not gonna worry about him. When you're with me, you're gonna put your problems on pause & just enjoy our time together, ok?"

He placed the two glasses on the table at our feet & sat down next to me.

"We're gonna watch the movie & you're gonna forget all your problems."

"I don't know if it's that easy..."

I felt like I kind of needed to talk this out with someone, but Jared didn't agree apparently.

"You'd be surprised how easily a few explosions & aliens can make you feel better," he grinned.

***

As the movie went on, I was well aware of Jared having subtly moved right next to me with his arm up around my shoulder. While I was still concerned with this whole thing regarding Jade, Jared had managed to relieve a lot of my worrying. I didn't feel as numb now; instead, feeling both the aches of my problems, but, for now, mostly the appreciation I had for my new...whatever he is...who knew how to get me to forget about my problems for the most part.

"You're still thinkin' bout things?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah...just a little," I admitted.

"Let's see if I can help just a little more then," he said, coming closer to me.

I turned my head to him & it was then that he leaned in to kiss me. I felt his lips push against mine as his arm moved down my shoulder & held onto me. I closed my eyes as I let his lips slide over mine. I felt his tongue poke at the entrance to my mouth. I let him in & our tongues swept past each other.

We kissed for a solid 15 seconds at least when I felt him pull away. He stood up slowly & held his hand out to me.

He nodded his head toward the hallway.

I stared at his hand for a moment & then made my decision.

I took his hand & stood up. Smiling, Jared led me around the couch, across the living room, down the hallway, through his doorway & to his bed, where this time...

...we picked up where we left off.