Jokes Thread

I saw a joke that I wanted to share with you guys, and thought we could use a jokes thread, just for whenever you see something hilarious you want to share, be it song, video or story (or even just an old fashioned joke like this one!)

Four FriendsFour friends, who hadn't seen each other
in 30 years, reunited at a party After several drinks, one of the men
had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy.He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics
and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate
ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich
that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his
birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride
and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight
school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he
gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned
from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ....What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and
he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and
a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends!'

ems wrote:

this is one of his ones: How do you sink a submarine?

Fill it with water. And everyone inside dies in horrific agony.

LOL (2 both jokes actually!)

that wasnt funny

lol Ive heard it before but its still funny

A stick.

E, when I said we needed a Jokes thread, the idea was to fill it with jokes. Funny, funny jokes. Not this generic rubbish which for some reason you think we haven't heard before. Sorry, but dude.

glued hair?

i guess theres not much humor in sri lanka...

ems wrote:

kell you just wont admit that you laughed!

No, your jokes sux.

Ecii wrote:

ems wrote:

kell you just wont admit that you laughed!

No, your jokes sux.

not exactly jokes but i thought they were pretty hilarious!

LOL!

ems wrote:

not exactly jokes but i thought they were pretty hilarious!

GAY! I called it

Ok Alex, I'll give a go at this posting of funny jokes. I hope I am doing this rite, by the rules that is.

Ok, one day 2 kindergarteners, Billy and Katie were talking. Billy asks Katie, "What's in between your legs that I don't have?". She says, "I dont know, what's in between your legs that I don't have?". Billy says, "I don't know. Let's ask our parents.". So they both go ask their parents. Katie asks her mom, "Mom, what's in between my legs that boys dont have?". Her mom says, "That's your parking garage. Don't let any boy park his minivan in it.". Billy at the same time asks his dad, "What's in between my legs that girls don't have?" His dad says, "Thats your minivan and you should park it in a girls garage.". So the next day, Katie comes home with blood all over her clothes. Her mom asks, "OMG Katie, what happened?!". Katie says, "Billy tried to park his minivan in my garage, So I freakin ripped his tires out!"

Hope you like it.

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway.Your mum and I got together in a chat room at Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mum and we met up at cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy disk to a stiffy and then your mum agreed to do a download from my hard drive.As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later, a blessed little pop-up appeared and said:

"You've got Male!"

Question: What does a Rubix-Cube and a Penis have in common?


Answer: The longer you play with 'em, the harder they get.

Now this one is very funny, but kinda hurts me to post it cuz I hate the end result. So plez don't hole it against me when reading it, hehe.

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open.Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said,

"Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat." Ouch!

thats my fav! LOL!

ive heard the rubix cube & the cyber 1

I LOVE THE TIRES! HAHA!

haha, thx Kell. I actually have this App on my new fon that I pull them from. This 16 yo dude named Ryan gave me permission to post on here. I told him he should check out the site, but I'm not too sure he's gay. Who knows though, we could only hope cuz he's super cute, lol. If I was able to copy his default pic, I would & post it here. Anyways, thx again. If I see anymore that are funny, I will post 'em.

uhhh...

spekn of kat slammn






.

n thn thrs ths: bork

ETA: n' this: bork

Ok, here's another funny one to post. Now this one isn't so gay, but totally gay in the same, lmao.

A girl goes to the doctor and asks him, "How many calories are in cum?" In response to her question, the doctor replies,
"Honey, as long as you swallow, no one cares how fat you are!"

OMG, that is hilarious. I sent that to my family via texting, and my bro's reponse was "Aint that the truth!", haha.
I know, I have a strange family.

irishboi69 wrote:

"Honey, as long as you swallow, no one cares how fat you are!"

uhhh.... I don't know that that is true -- especially if yer gay. Just FYI from my jaded experience.

ETA: No one has said a word about the slamming cat. I think that is hysterical!