Story Discussion

theres nothing better than breaking that 4th wall & saying hi to wats beyond the screen

wow that was a really cool chapter! i really liked the dialogues. especially the one with collin and mark where mark says that you cant play the dating game on survivor. as funny as it was, it still showed how delicate noah was at this point. and he's such a nice guy! i thought that mark would probably be the one who would patch NAJ together, coz of everything that he has done and all. oh well, nice chapter kell. i enjoyed it.

wow theres a first

anyone else?

I found it quite fascinating that you chose to write this chapter from outside the viewpoint of either of the two title characters. Its something I've found is only rarely done and can backfire, but in this case I think it really helps the plot.

About helping people get over their misery, and other things that were happening in the chapter...DON'T DO IT IN REAL LIFE KIDS. It almost never works out for anyone involved

so u dont think collin should be playing like this either?

No, I don't. Based on firsthand experience, getting involved in this way tends to lead to the very disasters that you might be trying to avoid.

actions make bigger impacts than intentions & if collin fucks this up, then who knows watll happen. i hope he just stops

I found this story last month and read it in one day. Yeah, I know, no life. But I really enjoyed it. But to be honest, I wish I hadn't found it until you were done writing it completely. Because I notice you don't write very often, which is both good and bad. Good, because you think it through first and don't just write a bunch of trash like a lot of people do. Bad, because I could be an old man before you finish it Anyway, thanks for the story!

thanks billy? lol. i know i dont write as often as i used 2, but its kinda difficult. dont worry though, i WILL keep writing this story until its finished (ive known for a LONG time how many chapters i want & such) so im still gonna write, even though itll take some time

Billy wrote:

I found this story last month and read it in one day. Yeah, I know, no life. But I really enjoyed it. But to be honest, I wish I hadn't found it until you were done writing it completely. Because I notice you don't write very often, which is both good and bad. Good, because you think it through first and don't just write a bunch of trash like a lot of people do. Bad, because I could be an old man before you finish it Anyway, thanks for the story!

lol i read all the chapters to naj, nat, tac, and rory in one night. it was fun but now i have to wait until kell posts new chapters

lol i read all the chapters to naj, nat, tac, and rory in one night. it was fun but now i have to wait until kell posts new chapters [/quote]

LOL yeah I read all of them too

well, the newest chapter is out. i hate how long its been... :\

hablame!

You broke them up semi-permanently AND you made Jaden bi-curious?!

I appreciate the arc with the brownies and the boys having the same shrink. A shrink could do an awful lot of matchmaking in situations like these...
Just sayin

they were ALREADY broken up. and on facebook, u said "made him bi-curious AGAIN?" what does again mean?

I been reading this story and the other for a for week or so. I got to say that there very grate story! Keep the good work!

The problem with "curious" people is that they can always go back to what they were. Idk if it is BAD thing in this case but it for sure will be most uninteresting. For us at least. Maybe jade should just take a bit bite of a Kiwano and try something new.

Now that I've had a chance to sleep some, I can comment a bit more thoroughly.

I'll start by asking for clarification on something, since it's rather important to the rest of my comment, which won't make a lick of sense otherwise. How much time passed between the first part of the chapter and the last part. I'm getting the sense that you aged them both to 18 from the16 they were to start, but it didn't really make sense at the time.

So anyways, you skipped a whole year, and I really wish a little more time was taken to explain parts of what happened during that year. It seems like, at least for Jaden, it was a busy year and it kind of got glossed over. Really hoping that more of that will be covered in later chapters, since it seems relevant to why he's having a strained relationship with Noah. And we all know we need to know more about what got Jaden in therapy to begin with, that's sorta important.

there was no year skipped. theyre still both 16 at this time. from the last chapter...its been maybe a week or so? i have a reason for slowing time way the fuck down. between the 1st & 2nd part of this chapter, it was like maybe later in the day or within a couple days. depending on how long brownies last for lol

and as far as i know this is the 1st time jade has shown any interest in girls. if there was another time lemme know

this chapter was meant for 2 reasons. to show that noah's therapy is going fine & that hes working on getting back to normal & thats hes doing fine, for now, overall

the other part was to open us up a bit to jade's life & c whats going on with him. and when they broke up, he told noah he had personal issues going & this chapter showed us whats been keeping him from getting back together with noah all this time.

and a kiwano will definitely fix things i agree with e xD

and thank u scott for the kind words, its nice to have u here

Obviously part of my last comment makes no sense now, thanks for clarifying Kell.

I am still interested in hearing more about Jaden's life and what's going on from his point of view. I know there's been a lot of Noah focus right now, and that makes sense considering what happened to him, but other characters' lives are going on too and we should get back to seeing that too.

and thats exactly what ive planned on doing starting with this chapter

so i put up the newest chapter. discuss here u homos

What a twist!

There's a lot in a name, and I'm amused by the fact that everyone Noah's been interested in has had a name starting with a J. I'm sure it means nothing, but it's still funny.
Regarding Jared, that's kind of cute that Noah's too nervous to say or do anything with him. Adorable.
I don't like the idea Noah/Jaden yet, there's a lot of underlying issues that have to be resolved between the two of them before they'll work as a couple again. I think forcing the issue here will make things worse for them, which is probably not what they want to have happen.

im not ready for naj either. and as for j names, thats just a coincidence lol. at the time i came up with his name, i thought of an elementary school friend of mine & was like hmm ill use his name. a LOT of names in my stories are taken from experiences in my life (jeffers, tom, jared, julie, ruby, janie, gina, peg, katie...)

originally, i planned for this chapter to keep going when noah said he wants them to be back together, but when i was finishing it (today at around 2:15pm) i realized i needed to leave for my weather & climate lab, so i was like ummm i dont wanna keep saving & putting it in a pm to me sooo ill just leave it on a cliffhanger lol

im not quite 100% sure where im going with jared but ill figure it out

My God Kellen! That was brilliant! Absolutely brilliant work! I really really loved this.

I've always liked stories with details. I think that it, in a small way, reflects the thought process of a write and seeing so many details of what Noah was doing was nice. I don't I've read so much of his nuances before but I think you went a little too far by telling every single thing he did from coming inside his house to the kitchen sequence. That was the only part that I kinda got bored and skipped a few sentences.

Noah's little time of reflection was very deep. Loved it! I get that everything was dwindling down to the line where he thinks "Or the boy...sitting at a table in McDonald's..." part but the examples that you gave, IMO, didn't quite "gel" together. That said, I hope Noah gets out of the self pity phase. I know that it's very tough coming out of a ditch like that but but eventually I hope this whole debacle will actually teach something.

I have to agree with Trev. Those two are ready to be together. I THINK Noah just wants to confirm that what he had with Jade was real and maybe relive it cos the DID have a good time together but the dynamics of their relationship has changed, even though he keeps on saying "we have a friendship... blah blah blah". They are not in the same situation as they were before. Again, my opinion. and the depth that you've shown in the characters in this chapter alone is amazing. and that's one of the things that has wowed me.

AND, this has been one of the most relatable chapters of a gay sex story that I've read. Like ever! The part where he was thinking about how people try to keep the partner in a relationship happy/ entertained, his thoughts on interaction among people, the sun rising (loved that part). Basically, how we appreciate the little things and this is something that I've been thinking about lately and it was sooooo damn good to see it here. I'm glad that Noah, as fictitious as he is, is taking a step towards changing it.

I wonder how that conversation with Albert went, lol. I like how you left that for us to imagine and I have imagined what would've happened and it's cute lol.

So, very well done Kellen. Brilliant, brilliant job! Keep writing like this.

P.S.: What's with the name of the chapter? What does "Nihl" mean?