Story Discussion

dare de-vil wrote:

should i be flattered?

Yes, yes you should. It was a wonderful chapter, and not just for the sexual imagery involved. Though that was hot too.
I actually appreciated that you took the time to delve into the personalities of the characters a bit. You're really starting to show a difference between Caleb and Trent, and I think that makes the situation more real and something we can relate to as readers.

DreamCatcher wrote:

did you have the same finishing reaction?

oh most definitely

i miss reviews. i should write more often! haha

If I were in Caleb's shoes, I wouldn't be pitying Rory for his lack of love. If/when he finds someone he cares about enough then he might change his mind, but honestly I'm slightly envious of his attitude to sex. I'm not at all good at separating sex from emotion and just fucking someone because they're cute. As long as nobody's getting hurt...

This chapter was a good mix of sex, action and serious character exposition. I thought you managed to get some quite serious stuff in there without letting their conversation become unrealistic for the setting. I also like how neither Caleb or Trent are being portrayed as perfect characters. Rory is a really morally ambiguous protagonist and it's great that the rest of the characters aren't divided into good and bad - it's a complex story that doesn't necessarily have sides or a simple solution

how do u DO that? how do u always know what to say?

i had a boner after that... but i was jacking off before i started it

dare de-vil wrote:

how do u DO that? how do u always know what to say?

I'm just a genius, you know
Seriously though, writing and analysing the universe is pretty much what I do with my life, so I'd like to think I have some talent for self-expression. I just also happen to enjoy your stories immensely

marcuss wrote:

i had a boner after that... but i was jacking off before i started it

Wow... I knew Kell enjoyed my feedback, but I had no idea I had this effect on other people too!

to put it bluntly kell... i had such a hardon that i was forced to do naughty things to your master piece....please write more<3

I'm flattered

you should be bc technically YOUR getting me of<3 ...like i said PLEASE write more<3

so i just went through my inbox to clean some stuff & i started writing chapter 10 on march 26th lol

DreamCatcher wrote:

you should be bc technically YOUR getting me of<3 ...like i said PLEASE write more<3

wait what? lol

i dont remember that comment lol. im glad u gave u a cybergasm lol

YAY! A NEW CHAPTER!

In seriousness, you've intrigued me with his mom coming back, and what that could possibly mean for Rory. I mean, at the very least, that's another person always trying to figure out where he is or what he's doing or who he's doing it with, so that'll make it harder to be with either boy.
You almost have to feel bad for Trent in a situation like this. He's so...idk, not naive or trusting. I guess he's very much a romantic at heart, and he's getting played by someone who he knew would play him, and that he agreed that they should not get attached to each other. That never happens in real life, someone always gets attached and the situation ruins itself, so good on you for keeping the realism up for that part of the chapter.
I predict family abuse in the future, it's just too volatile a situation you're creating.

so yar there be a new chapter to- OHH WHOA! trev ya beat me to it


child abuse huh? hmm. innerestin'

so which problem do u guys think is gonna be worse?

love triangle. Easily. After all, he already put up with the uncle for years upon years

I doubt there'll be any sort of love triangle. Like Trev said, Trent looks like he's very romantic at heart and he would break it off. At least that what I think.
Anyway Kell, it's quite a good chapter. I thought that this story will be free of all the mushy mushy stuff that comes with relationships but I guess not. I THINK I like that, not really sure. And also, I thought that his mum was dead for some reason lol. Looking forward to the next chapter. Good stuff mate!

to be honest, before i even started writing the story, i planned on having rorys mom dead. but then like 5 months before i started the story, i was like meehhhhhh lol

Thank you keel i love caleb... like ,i want to date him he's so cute...Mmmmm i just wants to cuddle<3

thanks!

be honest guys what do u think of caleb? is he lovable or annoying? im trying to make him a lovable character to u guys but im not sure if i am though. lemme know!

I want to kiss him soooo much ...I want a caleb =(

Well, we only know him from Rory's perspective. So I think he's annoying. Like he's trying so hard but all he ends up is being annoying.

hmm....

SOOOOO?!?!?!

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!

Cute, very cute. I like the plot twist. Could get physical, and twisted.

NAH-ICE! the repetition of the last two paragraphs like his life on a loop was pretty cool! Well done kellen!