Story Discussion

thanks

and just so u guys know, the start of the sex memory is MEANT to be cheesy, fast moving & tacky. after all, thats how teens that age think xD

anyone else?

sorry guys, this chapter was supposed to be longer, but i messed something up when i posted it & i lost the rest of what i had. guh.

so anyway, i guess in the meantime u can talk about this one

Rory's response to his mother's return is about as one would expect. I thought you did well to subtly show his conflicting feelings towards her without undermining the realism of his internal monologue and his external reactions. This chapter builds really nicely on the way you set up his complicated relationship with Ray; I like the suggestion that some kind of choice between the two might be coming, but honestly I don't know how the whole thing is gonna play out - his mother might abscond again, or have some kind of argument with Ray re: parenting and be forced to move out, or she might become a part of the very dysfunctional family unit. As always, your writing is only getting better
(Can you tell I'm supposed to be writing an english essay? )

to be totally honset, i thought that response was VERY generous lol. a quarter of what i originally wrote was accidentally deleted. and i felt very lazy this time around. BUT im flattered nonetheless lol

That was very good for a lazy attempt. I like the sound of a dysfunctional family.

biscuits with steak? wtf

biscuits here are bread rolls.

oh, that explains it.

Tbh, i dont see the situation getting any better for rory. i mean, if it did it would be the end of the story too.

what gonig 2 happen next

well, my new friend, youll just have to wait & find out

what do YOU guys think is gonna happen? go make predictions

will i hope that this time she will stay but if she stays it will take time 4 hem 2 trust her with her past it dont look good tho

sounds pretty logical

Kell wrote:

well, my new friend, youll just have to wait & find out

As the author of the story, you're suppose to say RAFO-read and find out -.-

oh, sorry if wait & find out doesnt mean the same as read & find out. especially since in order to read & find out, one has to WAIT until the next chapter comes out.

cant wait win do u think it be up

still not sure. within a couple. maybe less

ok, new chapter up. its real short but i didnt plan on this chapter being all that long anyway. thoughts? i guess...lol

Yeah, it was quite short. I didn't get the part where after his argument with him mum he was got horny. was he so unfazed by that that he just carried on what he wanted to do or did the fight actually turn him on?

this has happened before. if u go back & look at other fights rory has had, youll see that for some reason, he seems to get turned on. not by the actual fight, but by the excitement

rory has a sex addiction. and what doesnt help is the fact that adrenaline-pumping situations such as fights really get his blood running, & therefore....u know. he also has a crush fetish (meaning hes aroused when he crushes things like small objects or animals. remember the spider?)

Dude be fucked up. And this is about the kind of behaviour I think we'd expect from someone in his situation. Not much to say on this chapter, just keep it up - you seem to have a good grasp of where this story is going Kell, perhaps more so than your other stories. I like it

DUN TAZE ME BRO!

Sorry, needed to get that out of my system.

What an interesting little situation we have now, in that the good Colonel and Rory's mother know each other. I sense an affair.

I wonder what does it feel like to be tased. This chapter was OK, I guess. Again, with very little happening, there's very little to say. But I'm enjoying your style of writing very much! The last three lines were particularly quite good.

P.S.: What happened in Miami?

i know it wasnt a great chapter but i opened up some doors with it for down the road. and i didnt know what to do at the end & i just in my head "all right, what happens basically...he gets tased, cuffed & thats it." so i pretty much just put that down

i dunno what happened in miami

So the Colonel and Rory's mother know each other? Intriguing. I'm getting a sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me Rory might be pretty pissed off at yet another adult in his life sometime soon...